Rae's Writing Blog

“Meet in the garage at seventeen-hundred.” Gabriel didn’t bother trying to make eye contact again, shuffling his reports back into their folder. “Dismissed.”

Like a shot, his recruits where gone from the room, the only evidence of you having been there at all being the slight teeter of Jesse’s chair before it settled back onto its four legs. Gabe listened as your hasty bootfalls resounded down the hall.

Sprinting past the elevators, you and Jesse raced towards the end of the corridor with little regard for the poor group of researchers left reeling in your wake. Reaching the stairs neck-and-neck, you vaulted the first railing to put yourself ahead, grinning as you heard a frustrated “Hey!” echo behind you, followed by the sound of Jesse leaping down the flights four or five steps at a time.

At the barracks level, you slowed your momentum just enough to throw the door open, yanking it closed behind you just as Jesse caught up. You ran to your assigned quarters, scanning your keycard and reaching around the doorframe where you had strategically left your already packed duffle bag, but you froze when you didn’t also feel the familiar sling of your rifle. Poking your head into your room to frantically search for your missing weapon, you felt a sudden breeze rush past you, giggling as he thundered down the hall.

“MCCREE!” you hollered after him, hauling your bag over your shoulder and making to catch up. “WHERE THE HELL IS MY GUN?” He was always sweet on you, but you knew he was being just a little too nice that morning, coming to your room with breakfast pilfered from the mess, claiming that he had just wanted a quiet meal to ease his nerves before a mission. Cheating bastard.

“Oh! Sorry, darlin’! Thought you’d appreciate a little maintenance check before we headed out,” he called over his shoulder, the grin evident in his voice. He stopped up ahead of you to get into his own quarters, glancing up to see how far behind you were. Snatching up his bag and gun belt, he swung himself back into the hallway, attempting to block as much of the path as he could with the bulk.

Swerving to avoid him, you flew past just as he broke once more into a run, tugging him backwards by the shoulder strap of his bag in an attempt to throw him off balance. “Like hell you did,” you barked behind you as he stumbled back.

Leaving Jesse behind you, you hurried to the armory, finding your rifle placed on its rack, lovingly cleaned and serviced. Not even bothering to sling it over your opposite shoulder, you made for the door, throwing it open just as Jesse came down the hall, nearly hitting him and making him skid to avoid it. You hardly stopped to register your lead, instead letting a rippling laugh fly from your throat as the adrenaline spurred you on towards the garage.

Breaking from the corridor, the main hangar opened up before you, the workers and pilots milling about paying you no mind as you ran past. Swiveling your head around wildly as you went, you finally found the truck Gabe had assigned to your mission. You heard a crash from behind you then, and looked back to see Jesse barreling past a cart piled with scrap metal, a few pieces clattering to the floor from him using it to slingshot himself in your direction, determination burning in his eyes. He’s gaining on you as you both near the truck, and you feel it in your footfalls the desperation to make it there first.

Run, run, run!

Taking a leap over one of the mechanic’s rolling creepers, you throw your arm out in front of you, slamming your free hand down on the hood of the truck, full-on colliding with the reinforced body.

“Shotgun!”

Breathing hard through your mouth, you wheeze out a triumphant whoop.  

Jesse’s hand meets the hood just after yours, before sliding off dejectedly. He doubles over to catch his breath, hands pressed against his knees. “You… you got a head start,” he panted, reaching up to readjust the hat on his head.

You scoff between your own labored breaths. “And you cheated. And I did nothave a head start, but if you tellin’ yourself that’ll make you feel better, then by all means…” you raised your hands in mock surrender when Jesse straightened up, giving him a shit-eating grin.

Jesse looked like he was about to counter when the voice of your commander silenced you both.

“You’re both in the back. Now get in, we’re on the clock.” Gabe came up from behind you, duffle bag in tow, clearly having seen the outcome of your little race, and clearly not caring to honor it.

You knew better than to argue.

Gabriel shouldered his way between you to open the driver’s side door. Jesse looked disappointed, though only mildly so, as he pulled his bag off his shoulder to throw into the backseat. Giving him a friendly little smirk, you elbowed him playfully in the arm before heading around to the back of the truck. Hey, no hard feelings.

He relented and gave you his own little smile, nudging you back. I’ll get you next time.

~~~

The two hour drive to the compound Gabriel had scouted out passed uneventfully, with the quiet only being disrupted by Gabe’s radio chatter and the bouts of idle conversation between yourself and McCree as you pointed things out to each other through the windows. An air of calm collectedness had settled over your commander, which was infectious for Jesse and yourself, and you hardly felt like you were on a mission at all.

Gabe had been scarce with the details, making it sound like a job he could easily have carried out solo, but he insisted on taking you out for the experience of it, saying that having a little backup was never a bad thing. “Almost never a bad thing, anyway,” you remember him muttering the day prior, while casting an apprehensive glance towards Jesse as he twirled his six-shooter absentmindedly behind you.

It was dark out by the time Gabriel parked the truck off the road, about a mile out from your target location. You had long since passed by the orange-tinted streetlights of the last town you drove through, leaving the three of you with nothing but your headlights to illuminate the dense woodlands around you.

Killing the engine and making sure the comm was secure in his ear, Gabe turned in his seat to face you and Jesse. “Alright, I’ll be heading straight north from here. When I get to the tree line, I want you two to head northeast. When you find the fence we talked about, Y/n, that’s where I want you to set up. This place used to be a jail, so there should be an old watch tower there. Do your thing and radio me when you’re settled in.”

You nodded, adjusting the comm in your ear and patting your rifle.

“Jesse, you stay on the ground and cover her.” Gabe pointed to the gun at Jesse’s hip. “If anything goes wrong, don’t wait for me. Just head back here. Otherwise, I’ll call in when I’m headed back, and we’ll regroup.”

“Got it, boss.”

“Alright.”

With that, Gabriel turned back around and checked his belt, adjusting his kit before opening the door. “I shouldn’t be too long. We’re not here to make any noise. Just a quick in and out. I’ll see you two soon.”

Shutting the door behind him, Gabriel jogged out towards the trees. You and Jesse waited until you could no longer see any movement among the underbrush before getting out yourselves. Following your orders, you moved quickly into the dense woodlands with Jesse close behind you.

Neither of you said a word as you hurried along. Eventually, the trees opened up before you, revealing and old, bent chainlink fence with barbwire coils at the top. Beyond that, you could see what must have been the old prison complex, standing out in the middle of a large field, its lights still glowing from beyond the walls. You turned your head from side to side, following the line of the fence until you found the watch tower Gabe had mentioned. It was squat and covered in chipping stucco, hardly qualifying for a tower at all, but at the top you could see a narrow catwalk just large enough for someone with a rifle to stand comfortably in. You jogged towards it.

“Help me up,” you whispered, placing your hand on the wall and looking back at Jesse.

Without need for further prompting, Jesse holstered his gun and went to crouch next to you, his back braced against the wall of the tower. Holding his palms up, you took your cue to step onto his hands and let him push you upwards. Using the momentum he gave you, you reached up to grab at the railing, scrambling to pull yourself over and onto the catwalk.

“You alright, darl’?” you heard Jesse whisper from below. You peeked over the railing and gave him a thumbs up, which he returned with a nod.

“Give me a sec.” You got to your feet and took the rifle from your shoulder. The lights of the prison-turned-compound glowed an eerie fluorescent blue across the overgrown field, and you got the feeling that whatever it was that Reyes was trying to get out of this place wasn’t going to be in the public’s best interest.

Kinda like us, you thought, raising the scope of your Blackwatch issue sniper rifle to your eye, resting your cheek firmly on the stock. Following the line of walls that encircled the jail proper, you quickly found the back checkpoint gate that Gabriel had told you to look for in his briefing.

Kneeling down to rest the barrel of your gun on the railing, you pressed a finger to the comm in your ear. “Reyes, this is Y/l/n. We’re in position.”

There was a crackle and a shuffling sound in your ear before Gabe’s voice replied: “Okay, I’m outside the gate. It’s gonna be radio silence from me until I’m done. You two alright out there?”

“Yep, everything’s quiet on our end,” you affirmed. You heard Jesse hum below you. Training your scope on the brush near the gate, you could just barely make out movement as a dark spot shifted in the bushes. “I’ve got a visual on you, commander.”

“Going in.”

You watched through your scope as Gabriel hurried up to the wall from his hiding spot, checking his surroundings before ducking inside. Keeping your sights trained there for a few long moments of silence, you decided that he had made it in without issue and rested back, letting your shoulders relax.

“So about that head start you got.”

“Don’t start with me, cowboy.”

“Aw, c’mon now.” Through the holes in the catwalk, you saw Jesse shift below you. He leaned up against where the wire fence and the wall of the tower met, crossing his arms and looking out across the field. “I was jus’ gonna say, I think we need t’ even out the playin’ field next time around. Your chair was closer to the door, an’—“

“Jess, is this really what we’re talking about right now?” He craned his neck to give you a look, and you tried to give him your best I’m unimpressed face, but after a few beats of silence you dropped it with a sigh, deciding there was nothing better to do. “Proceed.”

You could almost hear the smile in his voice. “I think next time we oughta start at the door. Maybe count t’ three or somethin’.”

“You sure you aren’t just bein’ a sore loser about all this?” you laughed, leaning forward to survey the prison again. “Must be pretty embarrassing to cheat and still end up second.”

“You wound me, sweetheart.”

“I do my best.”

A moment of comfortable silence passed between you, unbroken by nothing but the breeze that rustled the leaves in the trees.

“How’s about I make it up t’ ya?”

You snorted. “I was just joking, Jess.”

“No, really! I—” He stopped when you shushed him gently, dropping his voice back down to a loud whisper. “Really. How ‘bout dinner?”

“Are you asking me on a date, Jesse McCree?”

He paused. “If that’s what ya want it to be.” It was soft, hopeful.

You laughed again, trying to keep it quiet, and looked back down at him. He gazed up at you, and even through the dark, moonless night, you could see the look of earnestness on his face. You decided to take mercy on him. “Dinner sounds great.”

Just then, a loud, resounding crack rang out across the field. Not half a second later, a small cloud of dust and wood chips burst from the wall behind you, and on instinct, you ducked down from your rifle, pulling to one side. Looking around frantically, you caught sight of a tiny red dot floating on the wall just beside your head. You didn’t need any further cues to tell you to bolt. Barely grabbing your rifle by the sling, you scrambled back around to Jesse’s side of the fence, hardly thinking to brace as you let yourself drop to the ground next to him.

“Go, go!” You grabbed Jesse by the shoulder and pushed him forwards, urging him into the trees. Looking back, you couldn’t make out where the sniper was on the walls, and you prayed they couldn’t still see you.

“Shit!” Jesse got his footing just as another bullet hit the ground to his left, sending up bits of dirt and grass.

Run, run, run!

With your rifle slung back over your shoulder, you brought a hand up to your ear piece, pressing at it desperately. “Commander Reyes, we’re compromised. Enemy sniper on the walls,” you panted as you sprinted towards the tree line. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Jesse running alongside you, gun in hand and not daring to look back. “Gonna try and lose ‘em in the trees. Heading back to—”

Another shot split the air, and you were suddenly pitched forward, landing hard, face-first into the dirt. Not a moment passed before you were hauled to your feet by one strong arm encircling your own, and you clambered after Jesse as he took your hand and continued running back into the woods.

Glancing over his shoulder at you, you just barely heard over the rush of blood in your ears Jesse call your name. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just go!” you panted back, jumping over a jumble of roots in your path. You heard one last gunshot from the jail, followed by the unmistakable sound of hot lead splitting wood behind you. Jesse didn’t let the grip he had on your hand falter as you both sprinted south through the dense trees.

Amid the thunder of your own footfalls, the sound of your commander’s voice finally came through your comm. “McCree, Y/l/n? You clear? Going back to the truck now.”

“Reyes! We’re in the clear,” you pause to take a deep breath, still running after Jesse, “I think.”

“Alright, just get your asses back to rendezvous. I’ll meet you there.” The labored breaths coming from his end made it evident that he was on the run too. You just hoped he wasn’t getting chased out.

“Yes, sir.”

The trees seemed to go on forever in the dark, and the run was beginning to wear on you. You felt a strain below your ribs, achy and dull like the side stitches you used to get when you first started physical training, but definitely there. You did your best to ignore it as you jogged through the underbrush. Jesse’s silhouette bobbed out in front of you, and you could feel the sweat of his palms through your gloves as he pulled you along with him.

“Almost there,” you heard him say between short breaths. “I think I see the road.”

Breaking through the last of the trees, the old weather-beaten tarmac opened up before you, no headlights in sight. Both you and Jesse looked frantically from side to side until you both spotted the truck at the same time.

“I think…” Jesse took a deep, steadying breath. “I think the coast is clear.”

You both stood silent for a moment, catching your breaths and listening for anything to contradict his statement. The forest around you was quiet and undisturbed, as if nothing had interrupted its dark, peaceful silence in the first place.

You heard Jesse laugh beside you then, short and giddily, like he was burning off the last of his adrenaline. He pulled the hat from his head and wiped at his brow, smoothing his messy, sweat-drenched bangs away from his face.

Then something seemed to catch his eye down the road, and he cocked his head towards you, giving you a little smirk. You felt the nudge of his elbow at your shoulder before he suddenly dashed off in the direction of the truck.

But you didn’t give chase.

The rush you had felt just minutes before was all but spent now, and something much weightier had replaced it. You bent almost double there in the tall grass on the side of the road, putting a hand gingerly to your side and feeling something hot and viscous soak into it on contact.

A body shot.

Well, there was some comfort to be had in knowing that they weren’t as good as you.

A lump formed in your throat. You gulped.

Jesse glanced over his shoulder when he didn’t hear you running to catch up, and jogged to a stop when he saw you hunched over.

“Hey? You gonna… oh.” The words died in his throat when you looked up at him, your eyes wide and watery in the dark.

You looked back down to your side and swayed a little, like the evening breeze had just caught you, and then there were hands on yours, pressing yours down and going around your waist.

“Shit,” Jesse hissed. “Shit, c’mon.” One arm encircled your shoulders, the other stayed pressed over your own blood-soaked gloves, keeping them in place. You stumbled a bit as he tugged you forwards in the direction of the transport. “C’mon we gotta… we gotta go.”

Through the static in your ears, you could hear the waver in his voice, and suddenly you felt like a kid again, shaky and afraid. And god, he sounded like a kid again; sounded like he did when Gabe first brought him in. Not the spit and vinegar outlaw fresh out of Deadlock, but the doubtful and hesitant kid, so unsure of what to do next.

And you hated to think that maybe he was scared.

Black spots were dancing before your eyes by the time Jesse helped you to lean against the hood of the truck, and he was saying your name, and someone else was calling his name and oh yeah Gabe.

Gabe was coming and maybe everything was going to be ok.

There was a hand on your forehead and another on your shoulder and before you knew it you were lying in the back of the truck and Jesse was there still.

Once the world had stopped spinning, you could hear Gabriel giving instructions from the front seat, and you vaguely got the sense that you were moving now. His voice was even, but there was a calm urgency to it that you rarely ever heard.

Jesse was reaching into one of the supply lockers that lined the back of the transport. He pulled out one of the med kits and cracked it open, his brows furrowing as he dug through it.

Another blackout and Jesse was behind you now, hauling you up so your back was against his chest, and he held a rough ball of gauze to your midsection, one to your front and then one to your back, securing them down with one long strip.

“How we doing, McCree,” Gabe asked.

“Uhh, fine. We’re doin’ fine.” His tone was clipped, like he was too focused to say anything better.

“Y/l/n? You still with us, kid?”

It took you a second to get the words out with how dry your throat had gone, and you let your head fall in the direction of your commander’s voice.

“Y-eah, boss,” your voice cracked, “still here.”

“Alright, well let’s make sure we keep it that way.”

All three of you were quiet then, and you could hear the rising hum of the engine as Gabriel pushed on the gas. Jesse adjusted you against him, having done all he could with what he had. His hands splayed over the lump of gauze covering the exit wound, and he sat with his knees drawn up a bit on either side of you, letting you rest your arms over his thighs and your head against his shoulder.

You couldn’t see his face, but you could feel how tense he was. His hands were shaking and he wasn’t talking, and he was always talking.

“Guess, heh, guess I still don’t get shot-gun.” You sputter a bit on the last part.

Silence.

A sick feeling settled into your gut.

“Fuck.” It’s small and hoarse. It’s what you can manage. Jesse feels his heart sink lower in his chest as you sink further against him.

Your eyelids were getting heavy, and suddenly sleep wasn’t sounding too bad.

“Jess?”

“Yeah?”

You swallow thickly, and your fingers curl absently into the sleeve of his hoodie.

“I don’t wanna go.”

You start to feel yourself drifting off. You just barely catch the words, and you’re not sure if they’re coming from Jesse or Gabriel with how far off they sound.

“You ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

~~~

The smell of antiseptic burns your nose.

Your eyes are barely open and the light is already too much. You squeeze them shut again.

Wasn’t it dark out?

You’re too tired to care

You go back to sleep.

~~~

The next time you come around, the light is a little dimmer, and things feel a little more solid.

There’s a weight over your left hand, and your last memory of such a feeling made you wonder if you were still in the back of the transport. But no, no you wouldn’t be in the truck still. You didn’t feel like you were moving.

You felt… comfortable? Maybe a little achy. Stiff. But not bad.

You finally opened your eyes, awake enough now to want to know what was going on.

Blinking away the fog of a deep sleep, you looked around blearily for something that could tell you where you were. The walls were white, light gray in the low light, but through the curtained window to your left, you could tell that it was daytime, probably late afternoon. You were covered up to your chest in cool, white sheets, and at the side of your bed sat a figure slouched over the edge of the mattress, a mess of unruly brown hair veiling his face. His hat was resting over your lap, and you couldn’t help the little smile that pulled at your lips.

Reaching over with your free hand, you gently brushed your fingers through his hair.

“Jesse?” Your voice was shot, coming out of your throat in a quiet, raspy whisper.

But he heard you. He raised his head from the mattress, blinking the sleep from his eyes. When he turned to check on you, he almost looked like he wasn’t expecting to see anything new, but oh, you were awake.

You were awake.

Jesse straightened up in his seat, suddenly much more alert.

“Hey, cowboy,” you laughed breathily, wincing a bit at the strain in your side.

“Y/n, you’re—” He paused, reining himself in. “How’re you feelin’? Anyhthin’ hurt, or…?”

You shifted a bit, trying to take stock of everything. You were sore, sure, especially around your abdomen, and you felt like you needed to stretch. “I think I’ll be alright,” you said softly. “Jus’ kinda sleepy.”

Whatever concern that had etched its way into his features melted away then, leaving behind a fond little smile that you weren’t sure you had seen before. Something warm settled into your chest.

His hand still held yours at your side, and you slipped your thumb out to brush over the top of his. It didn’t seem to bother him.

“Angie said you’d be good as new in another day or two. She fixed you up pretty quick once we got you here. Said the only real recoverin’ you’d have t’ do would be from the blood loss, or somethin’ like that.”

You hummed and gave a little nod.

“You an’ Reyes okay?”

Jesse laughed, though not too loud, knowing better than to make a racket in Angela’s ward.

“Yeah, sure, we’re okay. Hell, it was near impossible to get Gabe t’ leave, actually. Morrison had to drag ‘im outta here just to do the mission report.”

That sounded like Gabe. As much of a hardass as he could be, he still always seemed to take responsibility for his recruits. You snorted. “That’s dad for you.”

Jesse laughed again, a bit lower this time, and looked down at your entwined hands, like he was just now noticing that he was still holding yours. He cleared his throat.

“Heh, yeah… yeah.”

The smile slowly fell from his face, leaving behind only the faintest ghost of a smirk. He didn’t move his hand.

He kept his eyes down.

“Jess?” You bobbed your head to get a better look at him. He met your gaze and you tilted your chin down a bit, letting the unspoken question pass between you: Are you okay?

Jesse took a deep breath and let it out slow through his mouth, shaking his head and giving you a tight-lipped smile.

“We— I almost lost ya, darlin’.” His voice shook.

“Jesse, you—”

“I was supposed to cover you, and you got shot, Y/n.” He shook his head again. “An’… an’ I had you in the truck, an’ you got real quiet, an’ not even Gabe was sayin’ anything.”

Jesse sucked in a sharp breath, looking back down at your hands again, his trembling against your own.

And there was that kid again.

Your heart ached.

There was no need to think about it. Pulling your hand out from under his, you scooted yourself to one side of the hospital bed, opening your arms and beckoning him to you.

Jesse looked up, brows drawn together in confusion.

“Come on,” you spoke softly, encouragingly.

“But you’re…”

“Jesse McCree, I swear, get your ass up here.”

He looked down at you reluctantly, but did as he was told. Carefully, he tugged back the sheets on his side, sitting down first to pull off his boots and toss them over by the window. Then he gently, oh so gently, slid in next to you, putting an arm around your shoulders on instinct and settling back against the angled headboard. It was a tight fit, but you settled against him, happy to have his warmth. Your hand grabbed absently at his hat so that it wouldn’t slide off the bed, and you felt him sigh next to you.

“I’m so sorry, darlin’.”

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” you implored, your voice softening once more. His arm drew tighter around you, and you rested your cheek against his shoulder.

He huffed. You thought for a moment.

“Well, actually there is one thing…” You gingerly took his hand, letting him lace his fingers with your own. “You do still owe me that dinner on account of you cheating.”

You smiled tiredly when you heard him laugh, this time without reserve.

“You got me there, sweetheart,” he giggled. “Tell you what, once you get outta here, we’ll go t’ town. Whatever you want’s on me.”

“Sounds like a date,” you yawned.

Jesse’s eyes lit up then, and he grinned down at you, but your eyes were already closed. He tried to tame the giddy feeling in his chest, settling for sinking down against the pillows at his back, laying his head atop yours with a contented sigh.

He supposed he needed the rest, now that he thought about it. After all, he had a date coming up.

~~~

Ohhhh you can just tell I’ve never written these characters before oof