the state does not need to assign you a sex, nor does it need to keep inalterable record of it btw

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@rae-kasl
the state does not need to assign you a sex, nor does it need to keep inalterable record of it btw

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Something that I realised when I first started getting more into transfeminism that really made it click for me is that even when people say "trans women are women", they rarely actually mean that. Even a lot of trans women don't fully believe it when they say it, even if they don't realise.
We're still expected to act like a third gender. Sure you fall more into the group of "woman" than the average born male but a lot of the time there's still an implicit understanding that you are to not push too hard on being a real woman. If you talk about the misogyny you face, the ways you enjoy engaging with womanhood, or start happily taking up space, people will often get weirded out. They'll look at you funny, or they may verbalise disgust. A trans woman might be a woman, but it gets awkward when it becomes apparent that the woman in question genuinely believes it to be true and doesn't just want to be humoured.
I fell into this trap for a long time. I would feel uncomfortable even calling myself a woman sincerely because it felt like I was doing something wrong. I was encroaching. I was pushing my luck with what was acceptable for a pseudo-woman to do. If you are a trans woman who feels like this, like you're a separate category of person than just a plain woman, you have to realise something. If your joy makes people disgusted or uncomfortable, that's their problem. Make them uncomfortable, make them squirm (assuming it's physically safe of course). You owe these people nothing. You are a woman, full stop. Embracing that fact without shame or asterisks does wonders for your self esteem.
For every woman born of the wrong race, wrong culture, wrong hair, wrong bmi, missing a piece or two or with a few extra, who is too much, or too little — you were born with exactly the right amount of womanhood. 🫂
sex, but instead of fucking you, we both get naked and i hold your head in my lap and forgive you for everything you think you've done wrong.
hey every girl rbing this with "please", "need", or somesuch, come here.
i am giving you a big hug from which you cannot escape.
i am squeezing you into my chest until all that tension eases and you can relax and feel safe in my arms.
enjoying pride together 🏳️🌈🥳
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saw this on pinterest but i think it belongs here too
this will never not be important

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I feel like people who are dismissive of sports don’t realize that they’re sometimes super condescending. like, okay, you didn’t like gym class and have personal grudges against the jocks from your high school! that doesn’t mean that other people are idiots for enjoying something that, when it’s at its best, can connect you to a broader community of fans and give you a chance to appreciate the athleticism that people are capable of when they spend years honing a specific set of skills. there’s something so valuable and human about sports that gets lost when you reduce it to “sportsball” or whatever
highlighting some key points that multiple people are missing
Wow a brave voice for checks notes being nicer about the cultural defaults that are compulsively pushed onto people. Next you'll be telling me we should have a straight pride parade and that misandry is real.
you do realize that you’re the kind of person this post is about, right? if you make a habit of antagonizing people who are trying to enjoy something innocuous without being spoken down to, you’re not actually helping anything. you’re just being antisocial. what’s wrong with saying that it’s good to be nicer?
You do realize you are inverting the direction of antagonism, right? You are calling the _response_ to sports overwhelming influence on our culture antagonistic without considering the impact and harm that influence is causing. You're doing the standard playbook to pushback about cultural norms, which is to treat those norms as obvious and desirable and then cast that pushback as hostility.
There's nothing wrong with being kinder. The thing I'm taking issue with is you ignoring the harm caused by the default in order to focus solely on the minimal harm caused by the pushback (i.e. your feelings are hurt).
I feel like people who are dismissive of sports don’t realize that they’re sometimes super condescending. like, okay, you didn’t like gym class and have personal grudges against the jocks from your high school! that doesn’t mean that other people are idiots for enjoying something that, when it’s at its best, can connect you to a broader community of fans and give you a chance to appreciate the athleticism that people are capable of when they spend years honing a specific set of skills. there’s something so valuable and human about sports that gets lost when you reduce it to “sportsball” or whatever
highlighting some key points that multiple people are missing
Wow a brave voice for checks notes being nicer about the cultural defaults that are compulsively pushed onto people. Next you'll be telling me we should have a straight pride parade and that misandry is real.
“I just need to learn how to seem more normal and they’ll leave me alone,” she thought, lacking any ability to understand why the boys they said were her peers seemed to hate her from the moment they met her
Patriarchal society teaches boys to hate girls and believe it or not being a girl involuntarily sorted into boys spaces can very often mean being seen as an acceptable (and even deserving) target for that prejudice
“Hello yes the boys you keep forcing me to be around keep attacking me on sight and the girls I find myself relating to and drifting towards have already learned that ‘boys’ are dangerous, which I don’t disagree with, but as a result they’re keeping their distance out of fear that I’m the exact sort of predator I’m trying to find refuge from, may I have some basic human kindness and connection, please?”
“That’s extremely selfish of you have you considered that maybe you deserve to be abused?”
“I had not! I’ll just internalize that now since it’s the only consistent message that anyone is sending”
Being prime minister of the uk has a higher regret rate than being trans
So the solution is to ban prime ministers

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for pride tie up that touch starved tgirl and touch her until she cries! and then keep touching her! <3
Me: *touching my girlfriend*
My girlfriend: *touching me*
Me (thinking to myself): This is so fucked up of me. I'm being so selfish rn. I'm getting to feel her touch AND to touch her. What's she even getting in return? Probably nothing comparable.
me (an angel): and this is the inner thigh, engineered to be the most biteable part of the entire design
god (just fumbled a tgirl, angry at world): put the femoral artery in it
"but paws how could god fumble a tgirl if He hasn't created humans yet?" she was an angel. like all trans women. write that down.
Plausible Deniability
CW: cnc that's a bit weird about the c part, emotional sadism, rape kink metacommentary
"It's not exactly rape if you're enjoying it." I point out.
"Just because I'm asking for it doesn't mean I would enjoy it."
Not the answer I was expecting. The usual response I get is one of mildly frustrated pushback, pouty faces, muttered accusations of I-know-but-you're-supposed-to-play-along. I have a reputation, and that reputation invites a crowd I don't care for.
See, people say 'rape' and mean 'sex we pretend I am not into', because they've got hangups about being into sex. Of course we all have hangups - I just don't want to indulge those particular ones. It always feels like I'm expected to read someone's mind and then play dumb about what I see there.
She continues. "I know myself. Know I'd hate it in the moment. Just thinking about it makes my stomach seize up. Talking about it, too. And yet I want it. Simple as that."
"You can want it. Doesn't mean you can consent to it."
It's bait. But I want to know her own justification, in her own words.
"People get tattoos, run ultramarathons until their bodies give out, take molly and struggle their way through suicide Tuesday. This isn't any different. I get to make my future self suffer if I want to."
I nod, pretend to think for a moment. Then I speak.
"Six months. One month. And then three months."
A moment to build anticipation before I explain.
"Six months for me to work my way into your life. Calls. Hangouts. Heart-to-hearts. One month for me to strike, if I feel like it then. No restrictions beyond that. Maybe I'll get you at midnight on the first day. Maybe I'll wait a bit. Maybe I'll tell you I changed my mind, that I just want to be friends, and then I slip something in your drink two days before the deadline."
Words are so fucking limited a medium. I desperately want to describe the face she makes at that. I settle for committing it to memory. Outwardly, I just keep talking.
"And then, three months where I won't do anything. Won't allow anything. Time for you to think about what happened. I suggest spending some of it far away from me."
I watch her think. Stare hard enough at the cave wall, and maybe you'll figure out what's casting the shadows. I'm not acting the way she expected. But I'm not acting the way she feared, either.
Eventually, she decides that she understands me. Her voice is softer than it was a moment ago. Reverent.
"...you're giving me time. To make sure this isn't a whim. To process everything. You... obviously you're okay with me being hurt. But you don't want me to be hurt more than necessary."
Something inside of me shifts.
I don't quite know how it shows itself. I've tried to understand, though - have asked a few people to describe how I look like this. Sudden and terrifying, one got stuck on. A more poetically inclined soul said it was like I swapped out the soul behind my eyes.
"Do I?"
How would she describe it, I wonder?
"Maybe I just want to build trust before I violate it. Maybe I want to watch you, month after month, as you grow ever more comfortable around me. Maybe I want to see you try and forget what I'm going to do to you. Maybe I just want time to make sure it hurts as much as possible."
She doesn't flinch, but I watch her pupils dilate, her hands clench. There's a gap between being composed and being calm, and I fight the urge to stick a knife in there and pry it all the way open. I do twist it, just a bit.
"Or maybe I just want to make it seem like I care. Play the part of the ethical sadist because that's a type of person you need to be real. You're a good person. If you think I am too, if you think everything I did was with your well-being in mind, then I'm safe. You won't do a thing to hurt me. Won't think I deserve that."
There's a moment, uncertain and delicious, where I wonder if she'll turn and run, but no one ever does. I soften my expression in a flash, keep quiet but smile in a way that implies a thousand reassurances. Did you have fun? Are you okay? The scary dom act really got to you, didn't it? I hope it wasn't too much?
She relaxes a bit, and that's when I go in for the kill.
"God. You really are so eager to assume the best of someone willing to rape you."
I savor the way she shivers at that. Whatever my other reasons, everything I said, I said so I could see this.
It's going to be a fun six months.
Really gonna need society and people at large to get it through their skulls that a trans woman was always a woman and was never in fact a cis boy even if you didn’t know she was trans she wasn’t being perceived and treated as a normal boy
Like seriously I am not a boy in fact I was never a boy, I was forced to grow up in ‘boys’ spaces through no say or agency of my own (and yes it WAS incredibly violent and traumatic love how you downplay that all the fucking time) and let me be clear I saw the way you treated those boys and I saw the way those boys treated each other and that’s not how I was treated

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I feel like a lot of people get "All Art is Political" confused with "All Art is made with Political Intentions" which is not the same.
you know when you get Autism Mad. like something happens in a non-ideal way and in your brain you know it literally doesnt matter but in your other more autistic brain youre like screaming & scrying & shitting the bed etc. i think you should be able to go into settings and opt out of that. i have better things to get upset about than failing to put up a decoration on the optimal day or being too stubborn to solve a problem via simple communication