saturday burns away. ♪

me getting 10,000 dollars a week would solve not only all of my problems but also probably most of my friend's problems too

"i think therefore i am" yeah well i jerk therefore i cum #bitch

the only thing you're allowed to watch between the ages of 0 and 17 is barney the dinosaur and the only thing you're allowed to watch once you turn 18 is cannibal holocaust

Hookup culture is so convoluted these days and I don't meant that in a way that is dismissive of the act in of itself but rather that you used to be able to just have a few drinks with a girl and then she'd put her eggs in you or vice versa nd then maybe you'd stack colored pebbles together for a few hours but nowadays she always has to try and poison your wine which I suppose I can't really complain about because I also try to poison hers while slipping antidote into mine but she does the same so we get mad at each other and grapple for a while and then she stings me with her stinger or injects venom into me with her fangs or what have you and THEN finally gets to the oviposition. It all just feels a bit overcomplicated to me and you can't even stack colored pebbles afterwards because you're still paralyzed from the venom