“hey sorry for not responding. i just took sometime to reflect on my beliefs if it comes across that i want to exclude butch women and lesbians from my definition of womanhood. but now that i’ve done enough reflecting i can see that you’re in the same situation i was in about 3 years ago.

my beliefs around trans people have changed the more i actually listen to what they’re saying. this started in college when i was really introduced to trans people for the first time sans the one person who came out in high school.

i was totally for them, seeing as they’re oppressed and face violence in the community. that i believe is completely wrong. no one deserves to face violence unless they are causing violence.

but still i had to keep ignoring my instincts and what i learned from going to all girls school. i was taught i can cut my hair short and be intellectual and play sports and still be a girl. immediately the thought of a “woman brain” and a “male brain” seemed sexist, as a woman can be just as sociopathic as men can be (my mother case in point) and a man can be as “empathetic” as we consider women to be.

but still, i fell in. I started to identify as nonbinary my junior year of college because listening to all of the trans people around me told me that my more “masculine traits” like my intellectualism and playing sports actually made me “not a girl”. so i identified as such and went by they them.

thing is i snapped out of it my senior year when i started to think about what the implications of that are. so i can’t be a girl if i’m smart? if i play softball (i.e. the women’s sport)?

also what contributed to this was my asking my don/advisor for an interview for the school paper. she was the head of the women’s history department, the oldest in the country, founded by gerda lerner, for a number of years.

we held this interview right before she retired, right before the sarah lawrence women’s history program would go dark because they couldn’t figure out how to rename it to be inclusive and appease the trans and nonbinary people of sarah lawrence.

women’s history is not made to be inclusive. it is the history of an oppressed group of people. it’s like closing down an african american history department because how dare they not include rachael doezal.

and this is when i bring up rachael doezal. if it’s okay to identify as a different gender than what aligns with their sex traits, why did we hate rachael doezal? being black is a mixture of physical traits and environmental upbringing, just like how being a woman is. why is this so different then?

i don’t believe in a woman brain or a male brain. i believe we’re all alike up in the head, albeit with whatever we experience influencing that.

i have also done my own research into trans forums online (like reddit) to see what they feel like.

countless times i have seen “trans women” fantasizing about raping cis women for turning them down. for not wanting to have sex with them. the infamous hunter schafer letter literally said that she felt like a woman because she wanted to be consumed by a man.

I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO BE “CONSUMED BY A MAN” AND FELT LIKE THAT’S WHY I’M A WOMAN.

I don’t even have to mention what ethel cain did to lana.

All of these are rooted in fetishes. i read one post where someone complained about how thinking about being a woman made them hard before starting HRT but now that they’re on HRT they don’t get hard so they want to get off so they can still feel hard.

would it be offensive if i called these people “penis havers?” because we’ve already started calling women “uterus havers” when talking about women’s issues like abortion.

there’s more i can go on about but i fear you’re already going to do the “i wont read anything from a terf”

i’ve been too afraid to say anything lest i get labeled as a terf, but the more i read, the more i see the more i feel like i can’t keep quiet. saying putting on a dress and heels makes you a woman is misogynist. full stop. saying someone has a “female brain” is misogynist. full stop. so im reclaiming it. yes i am a terf. stop drawing attention away from actual issues to fuel your male ego.

and that being said, let me list what i do think is still okay

men wearing dresses/“female” clothes (because clothes have no gender)

changing your name (i also hate my name and think gendered names are stupid).

so that’s why i don’t deadname anyone. i get it. i also think we shouldn’t have gendered names. but ultimately your implication that “i’m not listening” couldn’t be further from the truth. the fact i’ve been listening is completely why im like this way.