RachelWaits

You know, I feel really normal about my break up. It's weird. I feel like hardly anything has changed. Shawn ignored me all the time and never went with me anywhere. So, going and doing shit on my own doesn't feel lonely. If anything I would stay home waiting around on him and now I just feel like I'm doing what I please when I please. It's hard to think that eventually he won't be so prominent in my life, same with his kids. But they're not mine to keep and I think that's fair. I wanted to get married and have kids of our own and every day feeling like I was just an inanimate fixture in his life rather than a supporting role really tore me down. I feel good as much as I hate that he doesn't. I feel like I can breathe. I was getting so depressed and I would cry all the time thinking about how dead my relationship was. I started thinking about how much easier dying would be than to end things with Shawn. I'm just glad I went ahead and did it and that I feel better.

At the end of the day I’ll take off my cape, I’ll use it to help stop the shakes. I’ll be your hero as long as it takes, and in the dark I’ll cry for my own sake.