Write Your Story

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

So he holds up in mordor gathering a new army, and only after about a century is he strong enough to do cool magic shit again, by that time however the ring hadnt been used in decades so there were no whispers of it except oops we found this weird little fucker who keeps yelling about his fucking precious, better go check out “shire baggins” whatever the fuck that is

So he finds out a fucking hobbit has his ring which in middle earth terms is like finding out mr magoo has your fucking nuclear launch codes. So he starts sending wave after wave of his own men to get the ring and they keep failing cause this fucking hobbit has friends. He has his homie saruman send some uruk-hai to get them and then sends some goblins to make sure everything goes right but for no apparent reason they stop reporting in, (something about horses and trees?) so he sends a guy to ask saruman straight out wheres my fucking ring and saruman straight up lies about it. Next thing he hears saruman has launched an all our invasion of rohan with 10000 uruk-hai so rip the bronies right? Nope the next day his army is defeated and saruman has fucking vanished.

Confused as fuck now sauron gets a fucking phone call from a god damn hobbit (ITS YOU!) but all he gets out of the little sovereign citizen is some shit about “i do not answer questions” and next thing he hears the hobbit has gone to fucking gondor. Alright send fucking everything we got, take gondor do whatever it takes get my fucking ring back. And what does he have to worry about right? After all even if rohan helps he’ll still win. Wtf is that an army of ghosts???!?!?!?

So then hes sitting there with his diminished army trying to figure out his next plan of attack and he gets another fucking phone call from the god damn great grandson of the prick who cut off his ring in the first place. “Oi cunt i got ur ring and im gonna fuc u up m8!” *click*

Goody he thinks, this arrogant sob is gonna bring my ring right to me, time to throw everything i got at this bastard. So then the fight starts hes super excited cause hes clearly winning and OH DEAR GOD MY RING IS IN THE VOLCANO HOW THE FU- *dies*

Rhys forced Feyre to wear clothes she wasn't comfortable in. He drugged and sexually assaulted her for months. He tortured her. He socially isolates her to the point that her only friends are his friends, and they all choose him over her in a heartbeat. He withheld vital medical information from her for months.

Xaden would die rather than treat Violet so abusively.

Katniss: I wake up at 5am every day to go hunting.

Peeta, a baker, who also gets up at 5: Cool cool, so we're going to bed by 8 right?

Katniss: I was thinking 7

or is one of the reasons that Mor and Amren are so hard and vicious towards Nesta is because they are jealous? This isn't me being "ha ha they are so jelly of my girl" I am actually curious on the temperature of this question. I have only read through ACOSF and ACOWAR once, but I remember feeling like "wait, are these *oh so powerful* fae women jealous of a woman in her 20s? are they threatened by her?" and the more I thought about it, the more I leaned toward, yeah they are. Amren because of the power she lost in ACOWAR and Mor because she was losing her boy toy ( heck, I would also think she is worried of losing BOTH Az and Cass because of Nesta's presence, but I digress).

going at the end of acosf reminded me of this fucking stupid thought of nesta’s girl no!! noooo get up nooooooo

This passage is one of the most heartbreaking yet frustrating moments in A Court of Silver Flames because it embodies one of the most harmful ideas throughout Nesta’s arc—the belief that she has to earn love, that she has to deserve it, as though love is transactional.

The moment is framed as a breakthrough, as if Nesta is finally taking responsibility and “choosing to fight,” but it’s actually a deeply flawed and damaging mindset that she’s internalized from the way she’s been treated. Let’s break this down piece by piece and challenge why this belief isn’t as triumphant as the book tries to make it seem.

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1. “Though she might not have deserved it then…”

This is where the problem starts.

The idea that Nesta didn’t deserve her father’s love is completely untrue. Love—especially familial love—shouldn’t be something you “deserve” based on merit. Nesta’s father failed his daughters for years, choosing to waste away in grief rather than care for them. And yet, when he finally took action at the last possible moment, his love was unquestioned, unconditional, and heroic.

Nesta, on the other hand, is positioned here as though she has to earn what her father freely gave—a blatant double standard. Her father had the privilege of being passive and broken, but when Nesta exhibits those same behaviors due to trauma, she’s told she doesn’t deserve love.

Why is it that the men in this story can grieve, make mistakes, and still be inherently worthy of love, but Nesta has to prove herself?

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2. “She would do all she could now to earn it.”

This right here is the most damaging line. Nesta’s story should have been about healing and self-acceptance, about learning that she is worthy of love just as she is. Instead, this line frames her healing as a debt she has to pay off.

This is a common theme with how the Inner Circle has treated Nesta—she is expected to repent for her suffering rather than be helped through it. Her struggles are seen as an inconvenience to others rather than symptoms of deep, untreated trauma.

No one should feel like they have to earn the right to be loved. If you have to prove you deserve love, then it isn’t love—it’s conditional approval.

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3. “To deserve not just his love, but that of those around her. Of Cassian.”

This is perhaps the most enraging part of the passage because it frames love—especially Cassian’s—as a reward for her “good” behavior.

Cassian’s love should not be something Nesta has to prove herself worthy of. Love is meant to be given freely, not held hostage until someone becomes easier to deal with. The way this is phrased makes it sound like Nesta will only be lovable if she fights, if she proves herself, if she changes into someone more palatable for Cassian and the others.

And here’s the kicker: Cassian enables this thinking.

Throughout the book, Cassian reinforces Nesta’s belief that she has to earn her place in his life. He constantly frames their relationship as something she has to work for, while he remains the steadfast, patient figure waiting for her to be “ready.” But love isn’t a one-sided test. Nesta doesn’t have to prove her worthiness for Cassian’s love—he should be demonstrating that he is worthy of hers just as much.

Instead, his love is portrayed as something she must fight for, like a finish line in her self-improvement arc. And that’s not love—that’s a performance.

Cassian himself, despite all his posturing about protecting her, is complicit in this narrative. He never challenges the idea that she has to “earn” love—if anything, he supports it. His affection is often given when Nesta is progressing and withheld when she isn’t, reinforcing the idea that she must behave a certain way to be worthy of him.

Contrast this with Feyre and Rhysand—at no point is Feyre ever made to earn Rhysand’s love, nor does she believe she is undeserving of it. Even at her lowest, even when she lashes out, her worth is never questioned. So why is Nesta held to a different standard?

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4. “Some days might indeed be difficult, but she’d do it. Fight for it.”

Yes, healing is difficult. Yes, growth requires effort. But the problem is that Nesta isn’t just fighting for herself—she believes she has to fight to be worthy of love at all.

This isn’t the empowering, triumphant moment the book tries to frame it as. This is a woman who has been abused, isolated, and forced into submission finally breaking down and internalizing the message that she is inherently unlovable unless she performs worthiness.

She should be healing for herself, not for the approval of others. She should be fighting for her own happiness, not to gain permission to be loved.

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What This Passage Should Have Been

Nesta’s arc could have been powerful if it had led her to the realization that she has always been worthy of love. That she didn’t need to prove herself to anyone. That the love she gives and receives isn’t something to be earned like a prize.

Instead, this passage reinforces a harmful idea—that trauma survivors, especially women, have to work twice as hard to be considered worthy of the most basic forms of care and affection.

A number of readers don't see why others find Mor to not be a "girl's girl" type of character. SJM's narrative had her welcome Feyre with open arms, but Mor's reaction to and treatment of Feyre differs greatly than with others.

To start off, let's look at Mor's relationship with Nesta. They had a disastrous first interaction, and it immediately put Mor at odds with her. 

Some readers say they didn't notice any nastiness on Mor's end, but you just have to look at the text to see that's not true.

Some readers excuse it as Mor treating Nesta that way to defend Feyre and Cassian, but Mor treated Nesta in a way that overstepped only worrying about friends. 

If it was about Feyre, well Feyre always checked Rhys when he disparaged Nesta. Mor could have taken the lead from that. Feyre forgave Nesta for their past, wanted to move on, and that was family business between the sisters.

If it was about Cassian, Mor had no business getting between them either. Feyre wondered if they were mates since ACOWAR, so others likely wondered too. That's a situation best left to the possibly bonded. Mor wasn't in a relationship with or in love with Cassian, she was just using him as a buffer with Azriel.

For examples of poor treatment, there are many that show Mor was rude and irrational when it came to Nesta.

The first time they interacted isn't the 'Nesta is just a bitch' situation it's made out to be. Some readers say Mor was only being friendly, was just trying to be welcoming of Nesta, but that isn't a take supported by the text.

“Where did that dress come from?” Mor said, red gown flowing behind her as she breezed toward Nesta. My sister drew up short, shoulders tensing, readying to— But Mor was already there, fingering the heavy blue fabric, surveying every stitch. “I want one,” she pouted. Her attempt, no doubt, to segue into an invitation to shop for a larger wardrobe with me. [Mor conversing with Feyre about Rhys picking the dress] “He gets all the credit for clothes,” Mor said, examining the fabric of Nesta’s skirt while my sister monitored like a hawk, “and he never tells me where he finds them. He still won’t tell me where he found Feyre’s dress for Starfall.” [...] “It’s a good thing we’re not the same size—or else I might be tempted to steal that dress.” “Likely right off her,” Cassian muttered. Mor’s answering smirk wasn’t reassuring. (ACOWAR, Ch. 17)

This was not very long after Nesta and Elain were thrown into the Cauldron. In reality, Mor's behavior was inconsiderate and insensitive of someone who recently had their bodily autonomy violated.

Invading her personal space.

Grabbing her dress up.

Ignoring her verbally before finally acknowledging her.

Smiling at a joke about stripping her. 

It isn't something you'd expect from a character who, according to SJM's narrative, is supposed to be sensitive to victims. The interaction wasn't about complimenting Nesta, because Mor knew the dress was given to her. She asked Feyre about it. This wasn't simply a friendly encounter. Nesta acting how she did with Mor was not starting an uncomfortable situation – it was reacting to a situation that was already uncomfortable for her.

After the IC got back from a battle, Nesta asked them where Cassian was. Instead of simply answering, Mor went off on her.

And Nesta had been … pacing in the foyer. As if she was worried. I opened my mouth, but Mor beat me to it. “He’s busy.” I’d never heard her voice so … sharp. Icy. [...] if the Illyrian warrior no longer stood as a physical and emotional buffer between her and Azriel … And worse, if the person who caused that vacancy was Nesta … Mor said flatly, “When he gets back, keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.” My heart leaped into a furious beat, my arms slack at my sides at the insult, the threat. But Rhys said, “Mor." (ACOWAR, Ch. 39)

Another time, Mor tried to interrupt a conversation Cassian and Nesta were having, which was in no way hostile. It wasn't like she was trying to defend Cassian or anything; she was just being territorial.

Mor sagged a bit, jewelry glinting with the movement, and went to take Cassian’s arm. But he’d at last approached Nesta. And as the world began to turn to shadows and wind, I saw Cassian tower over my sister, saw her chin lift defiantly, and heard him growl, “Hello, Nesta.” Rhys seemed to halt his winnowing as my sister said, “So you’re alive.” Cassian bared his teeth in a feral grin, wings flaring slightly. “Were you hoping otherwise?” Mor was watching—watching so closely, every muscle tense. She again reached for his arm, but Cassian angled out of reach, not tearing his eyes from Nesta’s blazing gaze. (ACOWAR, Ch. 42)

Another time Nesta worried about Cassian, Mor rudely sent her on her way after Feyre said he was ok.

Nesta stood by the nearest tent, an empty water bucket between her feet. Her hair a damp mess atop her mud-flecked head. Watching us emerge, grim-faced— “He's fine. Healed and awake,” I said quickly. Nesta’s shoulders sagged a bit. She’d saved me the trouble of hunting her down to ask her about tracking the Cauldron. Better to do it now, with some privacy. Especially before Amren arrived. But Mor said coldly, “Shouldn’t you be refilling that bucket?” (ACOWAR, Ch. 27)

The comments Mor made in ACOSF are particularly bad.

The first is when she was having brunch with Cassian, where she brought up Nesta unprompted, was snide about her, then outright callous.

“She’s settled, then?” Cassian knew who she meant. “Taking a nap.” Mor snorted. “Don’t.” His attention drifting to the glittering Sidra mere feet away. “Please don’t." Mor sipped her tea, the portrait of elegant innocence. “We’d be better off throwing Nesta into the Court of Nightmares. She’d thrive there.” (ACOSF, Ch. 4)

Mor knows more than anyone how a "difficult" woman would absolutely not thrive in a sexist society. It was actually a ridiculous statement to make. Nesta's whole reason for being sent to the House of Wind and training was because the IC considered her "out of control". Feyre straight up admitted it.

Mor was projecting her abuser onto Nesta, when Nesta is not comparable to Keir. In fact, she is more comparable to Mor. She was drinking excessively, which Mor does too, often taking full days to recover. Nesta was shamed for having meaningless sex, but Mor will have sex with someone she doesn't even like to put off Azriel, rather than have an honest discussion with him. 

The second time Mor made comments was in Windhaven camp, where she didn't actually have to be. She doesn't rule over it, nor was she involved in Nesta's training. I wondered why she was even there when she hates it so much. 

Mor’s face was pale, tight. “I hate this place,” she said under her breath, the heat of it clouding the air in front of us. “It should be burned to the ground.” (ACOMAF, Ch. 45)

It seemed like Mor just came to get into Nesta's business. She taunted her 'quietly' because she didn't want Cassian hearing.

No amusement lit Morrigan’s face as she shifted her attention down to Nesta. “Why aren’t you out there?” “I’m taking a break. Morrigan’s gaze swept over Nesta’s face, noting the lack of sweat or flushed skin, the hair barely out of place. The female said quietly, “My vote would have been to dump you right back in the human lands, you know.” (ACOSF, Ch. 6)

The human lands, where Nesta would have to live in hiding at risk of human prejudice and violence. How is anything Nesta did deserving of that? An abrasive personality and having bad coping mechanisms for PTSD deserves living in danger 24/7? 

Dark fire simmered in Morrigan’s eyes. “I knew plenty of people like you once.” Her hand drifted to her abdomen. “You never deserve the benefit of the doubt that good people like him give you.” (ACOSF, Ch. 6)

Again, this is wild projection. It's an unkind take on someone who is suffering from depression and does not want to have her life completely controlled.

Something to notice, is that the times Nesta lashed out in ACOMAF and onward were mostly in reaction to the IC crossing her boundaries. In reality, Nesta wasn't as bad as Mor made her out to be. She was essential to the war effort, helped in every aspect (diplomacy, strategy, battle, in the camps) because she actually does care about people – but Mor gave her no credit for it. 

When Cassian approached them, we learned that Mor, who winnowed him and Nesta, had come early. 

Cassian had reached them, breathless and gleaming with sweat. “You’re early.” “I wanted to see how things were coming along.” Morrigan pulled her burning gaze from Nesta. “Seems like today was a slow start.” (ACOSF, Ch. 6)

So she did just come to be in Nesta's business and make spiteful comments. Some mean girl energy there. Ironic when certain readers say Mor disliked Nesta for being that way.

Mor did end up coming around to being nicer to Nesta, though. We weren't given her reasoning over it, but I'm positive it was because of Nesta encouraging the priestesses to come out of their shells and train to be Valkyries. In my opinion, Mor realized she had been harsh on Nesta and that calmed her down. Also, I think the IC having Nesta distract Eris made Mor feel sympathy, probably seeing how similiar they actually were and all that. So Mor stopped coming between Cassian and Nesta, and secretly taught him to dance so he could surprise Nesta.

Some readers question if Nesta would have been receptive to Mor even if she had been welcoming. An example to look to is Azriel and Nesta – they were perfectly fine because he minded his own business concerning the Archeron sisters and Cassian's possible relationship with Nesta. Nesta was even friends with Amren until they had their falling out, which only happened because Nesta didn't want to train her powers.

So that's one relationship with a person Mor was disinclined to like based on her friends. Let's look at others, who are outside Mor's circle in Velaris — in the Hewn City.

“As my Third, Mor is my … court overseer. She looks after the dynamics between the Court of Nightmares and the Court of Dreams, and runs both Velaris and the Hewn City. I suppose in the mortal realm, she might be considered a queen.” (ACOMAF, Ch. 18)

Mor has a direct hand in running the Hewn City, but she barely goes. Her experiences of having been from there understandably traumatized her. Even just the thought of a pending IC trip distresses her.

But she’d left after dinner, pale-faced and jumpy, ignoring Cassian’s attempt to speak with her.

“Why did Mor look so disturbed [...] ?” ( ACOMAF, Ch. 41)

Yet Mor having trauma doesn't make her think of what other daughters of the HC have gone through and are still being subjected to by male relatives or even Keir himself.

Keir paused at the threshold as the doors opened on a phantom wind. He said to Rhys, perhaps the closest he’d come to asking for permission to leave, “Lord Thanatos is having … difficulties with his daughter again. He requires my assistance.” Rhys only waved a hand, as if he hadn’t just yielded our city to the male.

After Rhys' deal with Keir to let HC folk into Velaris, all Mor cared about was Keir.

She waved a hand to the town house, the city. “This is my home, and you are going to let Keir destroy it.”

“I took precautions,” Rhys said—an edge to his voice I had not heard in some time. “Many of them. Starting with meeting with the governors of the Palaces and getting them to agree never to serve, shelter, or entertain Keir or anyone from the Court of Nightmares.”

“They have been sending out the word to every business owner in the city,” Rhys went on, “every restaurant and shop and venue. So Keir and his ilk may come here … But they will not find it a welcoming place. Or one where they can even procure lodgings.”

(ACOWAR, Ch. 27)

There was no thought from Mor about all the innocents who could benefit from being outside the HC, who should be able to have time not being trapped inside a mountain with their abusive relatives and Keir.

Some readers say Mor's actions against Nesta are about having principles, about defending Feyre from an abusive relative—but Mor never does that for anyone else.

When Elain got taken by Hybern, Feyre and Az went to get her as soon as possible.

When Nesta got taken by the Illyrians (Briallyn) nobody did anything (Cassian wanted but ultimately was convinced not to)

1. DO NOT censor your posts

dont censor sex, abuse, suicide, dont censor it. we dont have censors like tiktok does, you wont be banned for talking about these things and tagging them properly helps people avoid them (also, we dont have shadowbanning here)

2. we dont really have an algorithm

you follow who you follow, and you see posts from who you follow or what you search. the 'for you page' is basically useless here. this also brings me to my next two points

3. dont crosstag

we get it, on tiktok you have to crosstag for reach, but thats not really a thing here. just tag your posts properly (also posters often leave more info about the post in the tags!! and when you reblog stuff you can leave your own notes in the tags, kind of like the old "repost comments" on tiktok)

4. dont expect to go viral/be famous

"viral" isnt really a thing on here (at least not for the average blogger). your posts will probably get 2-10 likes and you wont get nearly as many followers than on tiktok. thats just how tumblr is

5. blocking is your best friend

tiktok is VERY discussion based, and while tumblr is much more discussion based than other social medias, its still not a good place for ragebait/discourse. dont interact, itll make your experience worse in the end, just block and move on

6. you cant go into someone elses house and start rearranging their furniture

You need to actually reblog posts for this site to work as it should.

Liking posts only saves them in a spot that no one checks except for the user who liked them. Most people have their liked posts hidden.

Also, this site has a spam bot problem. One way we weed those out is to check the blog to see if it's actually being used to post legitimate content. If there is absolutely nothing on your blog you're getting blocked and some users may just straight up report you as spam as a precaution.

If Nesta has said worse things to Cassian than Eris has (or even Amren, for that matter), show me. Give me those direct quotes so I can post them and talk about how awful she is for saying them.

If Nesta is supposedly physically violent towards Feyre, show me. Give me a scene where she slaps Feyre or where the IC have to restrain her from hurting Feyre or someone else. Don't just imply that Nesta is potentially physically violent or abusive, but not supply any canon evidence to back it up.

If the IC is facing the onslaught of Nesta, show me. Give me those moments of her ripping into Cassian after the war. Give me those moments of her and Feyre at each other's throats. Show me what an onslaught she is, rather than talking about the IC facing the onslaught of Nesta while she sits quietly and politely all evening.

If Rhysand is warranted in constantly threatening to kill Nesta, then show me why. Give me moments of her threatening to harm or kill someone else (threatening Feyre one time in defense of catatonic Elain is not enough justification). Give me scenes of Nesta threatening Rhysand's court or Nesta threatening Nyx or something to warrant Rhysand constantly threatening her life.

So much of canon is a character (usually Cassian) throwing a pity party for themselves for just how awful and mean Nesta is, but when you look back at her direct quotes...she's not even mean. All she really says is some variation of, "Leave me alone." "I don't want anything from you." "Stop panting after me." Those aren't mean.

At the conclusion of ACOSF/HOFAS, how is Rhysand that different from Tamlin? How if Feyre the thing she was so against becoming?

Rhysand keeps her in a bubble so no one can touch her through her entire pregnancy. He lies to her about her own LIFE, subtly saying he’d rather Feyre die than lose the pregnancy and try again with Feyre ALIVE. He’s endlessly possessive throughout all of ACOSF. He rages at Nesta for daring to help save an entire race of people, threatening her with death AGAIN. He seeks to keep all of the Dread Trove items in the night court. He parades Feyre about the Hewn City to show off he did breed her, keeping up with his weird ‘mask’. He loses control of his magic when enraged.

Feyre spends her time doing what is the equivalent of “First Lady” things. Things she would have done in Spring. She helps the poor, hands out supplies, vaguely worried about funds though they’re so filthy rich (from a mystery fund! Don’t worry, Rhysand got all this money from completely good ways) that she doesn’t need to ever worry about spending too much or building too many houses. Yet, she’s not involved in real politics, trusting Rhysand to just tell her what happens. She only gets brought in for a vote for her OWN SISTER when a tie needs to be broken. When she tells Rhysand to stop berating Nesta, he just takes Nesta to a new house to berate her where Feyre can’t see or hear.

Tamlin loses control of his magic when he too is enraged. He sought to keep Feyre safe from people who wanted to kill her by keeping her with a guard. When she refused to listen, he trapped her in a house where no one could touch or get to her. He expected her to eventually take on the role of helping common people, expected that he would handle the politic end of being a High Lord. Expected to use tithe to pay for their ONE house. Expected eventually she would become pregnant with their children if they were lucky.

These are all facts. They’re all got some emotional attachment within the text, but these are the facts.

What is the difference between Tamlin and Rhysand that makes Tamlin abusive but Rhysand understandable? It’s not that Tamlin didn’t love Feyre, he absolutely did. He loved her so much he had constant nightmares of seeing her die. He loved her so much he wanted to protect her from EVERYTHING no matter the price. I just cannot seem to understand.

What is the difference between what Feyre was scared to become with Tamlin and what she is with Rhysand? What is the purpose of a High Lady versus a “Lady” of the court when she’s not involved in politics, and the things she is involved in, her entire court is content to lie to her about or ignore what she says?

After the events UTM there wasn’t really a chance for Feyre or Tamlin to process their emotions properly. There was so much that needed to be done and Tamlin didn’t have an inner court to help delegate things. Unfortunately this resulted in the caged up bird feeling Feyre claimed to suffer when with Tamlin.

Rhysand has the advantage of distance and mind manipulation. He can create the world to be whatever he wants to be and can put of responsibilities so he can be more present and there whenever Feyre ‘needs’ him.

So for Feyre, and many readers, Rhysand being a partner who is always there and controlling everything sounds more appealing in a romantic sense. A comfort in the short term of being there and dropping everything without noticing the long term consequences.

Tamlin is a partner who focuses on the long term. It’s difficult and he can’t always be there but when he is Tamlin does everything he can to make up for it. Because once things settle down he will be able to have more time to be there and focus on healing. Even if it hurts him and he never gets the chance to recover.