VOTE FOR SIMON 2026
You might think Simon can't qualify as a tumblr sexyman because he's attractive, BUT there's more to his character than just his looks:
Simon 'The Butcher' is a murderer with a body count of +60 people.
Traumatized to hell and back, haunted by his past.
Raised by what's essentially a death cult to be a child soldier.
The most sopping wet cat of a man to ever live. Literally. He's completely drenched in blood.
Personality of a kicked dog: Quick to anger, but apologizes profusely SO many times for hurting other people, HE EVEN APOLOGIZES TO A PANEL BOARD FOR PUNCHING IT
Haunted by mind shattering horrors.
Disfigured and turned into a monster by said horrors.
Not just this, but think about the win this would be for an indie project
Think about the traction this would give Iron Lung
Think about letting this newcomer have his time to shine
And if not for anything else, think about how funny it would be for Mark "I see everything" Iplier to find out he won the 2026 tumblr sexyman contest as Simon
@mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026
Oh fuck do you think he’d actually see it
