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@raaaaaaaaant

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u know what makes me cry..... that one van gogh quote about life changing for the better..... âmany people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. and it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, âwhat do i care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.â yes, evil often seems to surpass good. but then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. one morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. and so i must still have hope.â yeah..... Crying....
You know what?
I am annoying sometimes.
And thatâs okay. Itâs not the death sentence I was led to believe. People will love me even if I canât read their signals sometimes. Not understanding is forgivable. I donât have to hold myself back so I donât annoy anyone ever.
The people who love me know I get excited. And I am still loved.
Well shit
*gets hit with feelings i thought i was over with* mmm i see that weâre recycling now

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I hope one day you wake up not bearing that heavy feeling anymore.
All I wanna do is get fucked up and forget
suddenly remembered this poem as i was making breakfast this morning & frantically googled âpoem remembered to buy eggs?????????â & somehow managed to find it & it utterly knocked the wind out of me just as much as when i first read it

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suddenly remembered this poem as i was making breakfast this morning & frantically googled âpoem remembered to buy eggs?????????â & somehow managed to find it & it utterly knocked the wind out of me just as much as when i first read it
not to toot me own horn but the fact that i didnât kill myself in the 2010s? big dick energy idk how i pulled that one off
X-Men: First Class (2011) dir. Matthew Vaughn
i really am working on become my own dream person and after years of focusing all of my energy on others itâs really nice to feel like i have my own back for once

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how do you know if you're in love???
I honestly asked my friend this same question just hours ago as I was clueless myself but thinking about it now I think itâs when for the first time after what seemed like a dreadful year (or life), you look forward to waking every morning knowing he (letâs use he as itâs me talking) will be there for you. I think itâs just plain seeing him and being happy thatâs heâs around. Itâs being happy just by hearing his voice. No matter how bad your day is, one message from him would make your entire day. Itâs when he makes you want to write long letters and huge poems. Itâs not all about âlustâ- itâs more of the intimate relationship you have together. Itâs when the simplest of things count. Itâs when you start to mature and start to plan something with him for the future. Itâs when he makes you want to start fixing your life. Itâs when heâs always in your head 3 pm or 3 am. Itâs when you canât stop talking or thinking about him. Itâs when you just really always miss him even if heâs right beside you. Itâs the âI used to like green eyes but now blue eyes are my favoriteâ. Itâs when all love and cheesy stuff just apply for him. Itâs when you begin to see nothing but him and you value him like you value yourself. Itâs not the âheart pounding, hands sweatingâ feeling but more of the âI feel homeâ feeling. Itâs more of like talking to yourself- being yourself with someone without worries. Itâs when you begin to really trust him with everything and that includes your happiness. Itâs when heâs your happiness. Itâs when subconsciously you change for the better. Itâs when you once again start opening up after a long time. Itâs when you are denying it at most cause you are afraid of how strong you feel and last I think while youâre reading this- thereâs someone in your head right now and youâre just contemplating whether youâre in love with him or not but hey the fact that he or she is the person (out of billions of people) in your mind while you read this must say a lot.
What do you do when you lose this kind of love?
I broke up with the person I was thinking of while writing this because thatâs what you do when you lose this kind of love- you let go and you move on.
You donât cling onto the person because âtwo and a half years has been a long time and itâs a waste to end it hereâ. You end it because youâve had enough thinking twice whether the person is still worth staying with or not. You let go because you find yourself looking back, comparing and missing the old times than cherishing the present. You let go because you have to stop defending that person and start facing the truth that things have changed. You let go because you let go of anything that upsets you whether it be work, hobby or a person.
And you let go because you have to stop being selfish. There is someone out there wanting to love the person youâre holding onto and they deserve to feel this genuine love from someone and not a pity love from you.
When you lose this kind of love, you move on. You do it because itâs the best choice for you. You move on because youâve been hurt enough and itâs time to be happy. You move on because you donât deserve to doubt the love that someone gives you. You move on and whenever you crumble, remind yourself on why you left in the first place.
And you move forward because you wonât find the right person for you while youâre holding onto the wrong one.
This is the realest advice I could have ever read, and everyone deserves to read this.