If you read this you're gay

Perhaps not of the physical means, but mentally he was exhausted.

Showing this weakness to the world was not allowed, however. Never-- to no one. Instead he droned on his day to day life, commanding his people, barking orders over empty promises he, a bad taste in his mouth all the while.

Something. Felt. Wrong.

Something felt missing and it ached deep in his very core day to day. The dreaded "but" crawled like millipedes and spiders down his spine, but he didn't know why. But he couldn't fathom what was missing. He was KING. He had a peoples to command, he changed the lives of so many, just as he'd wanted all those decades ago.

But still, it all felt so vacant. SO meaningless.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, locked away in a place he swore he'd thrown away the key-- he remembered his Father... His siblings. Believing them all long dead, what was the point? He'd proven himself to himself, no one mattered beyond that, right?

Father would never know of his accomplishments, Koana and Lamati'y neither. Yesterday's world, Tuliyollal? Ash and embers in his mind. What was left out there besides that other-wordly impossibly confusing ache and lost dreams.

Here... Hell even here he felt like he didn't belong. And it was there, in that recess of his dark mind; that wondered if he could break away from this hell. Go back. Back to when the ache wasn't there, back to when things were less frantic and less scary, and less fucking exhausting.

There was only one way to find out.

--

The ships' descent over Tuliyollal was without issue.

The screaming in the city streets, fumbling of people tripping over one another, looks of terror up at the skies and the overwhelming sense of dread filled him with a sense of both tenseness and irritation.

He climbed the many stairs of the palace-- just like he had as a child all those many years ago-- and dipped his head at the Landsguard.

His Landsguard, at least.. They were. A long time ago.

He shoved open the doors, leaving his ships patrolling the ominous foggy clouds, and stepped into the palace with a jitter he couldn't quote control.

Who would be within? Anyone?

The door ahead stood cracked open, and with a great heave he pulled it back, stepped foot within, and was met with a handful of people he long thought dead staring him dead in the face.

A dry swallow filtered through him, milky white eyes trailed between each of them, both hands on sheathed swords at his sides; his regulator hummed with an intensity that only he, in his trembling mindset, could hear.

"Brother?" Wuk Lamat nearly leaped up from the squat she'd been sitting in across the room, she shouted this, it made him internally flinch. Besides that there was little to no movement from him. "Where have you been? We've been looking for you for weeks."

Another dry swallow, he stepped a few feet ahead, and glanced up. With blurry vision he scanned the room, Lamati'y, Koana, a few others and father..? It was impossible... Absolutely.

"I.." He felt words form but then crawl back down his throat, scared? Angry? A bit of every emotion whipped him from all sides.

All of there eyes were on him, another dry swallow. This wasn't working.

"I don't understand." He finally said, "It's been... decades since I last breathed this air-- spoke to you, all of you. I..?"

"Decades?" Koana scratched his head. "We saw you two weeks ago, I'm really.. not sure what to say about this-- Are you the meaning behind the terror in the skies?"

"Aye." That word came without hesitation, even the dryness of his throat didn't impede that word from slipping through his teeth. "How are you alive?"

"I'm not sure we understand." Father spoke up, and his eyes narrowed in on the old man. "Two weeks isn't enough time for even I to bite the dust I'm afraid."

There was a soft, dark humor to his words, he knew it wasn't time for jokes but.. someone had to lighten the air. Break the static.

"The ships are here for one reason..." Zoraal Ja said with a tinge of worry, something no one but close friends or family would be able to read from him. "But I'm afraid I'm here for another."

The woman standing beside of Lamati'y... this Warrior from another land, squinted at him but said nothing.

He slowly shook his head. "I don't know what to do." Finally, words with meaning and purpose echoed through his lips, "As a King, as a brother, as a son-- I am lost."

A pause that took the room by surprise stopped all from responding.

And eventually he clenched a trembling fist and shook his head.