ive never said 1 coherent thing in my life
Misplaced Lens Cap
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.

#extradirty

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@quixotic--s
ive never said 1 coherent thing in my life

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January pearly sunset |Ā ŠŠ°Š»Š°Š½Š·Š¾Š²ŃŠŗŠ°Ń ŠŠŗŃана
Ā I called out of work due to covid for two weeks, had a panic attack and took a mental health day the week after that, and now im calling out again the week after THAT because I was in the emergency room due to cervical strain, and im so mad that capitalism is so ingrained in me that im mostly just worried that i am an ~unreliable ~~ employee and bc daycares have a staffing shortage bc weāre paid NINE to TWELVE AN HOUR in this economy, i gotta bear the brunt of that, feeling so bad when i have to call out
i just feel so angry, all the time.Ā
Social justice should be rooted in love of others but itās obvious a lot of people just weaponizing social justice to be bullies and borderline abusive under the guise of moral concerns
The amount of TERFS and radfemmes reblogging thisā¦.the call is coming from inside the house
humans literally evolved to have a heightened sense of taste in childhood because smaller bodies are more sensitive to poison and adults are just like ānah kids are Picky Eaters⢠specifically to annoy meā
Also certain neurodivergencies can cause kids to be sensitive to certain foods and tastes and textures. That also isnāt just to annoy their parents. We literally canāt help it. If your kid freaks out at certain food, donāt force them to stay at the table until they finish it every night. Just give them different foods. Kids are not bad. They deserve to eat food they like that doesnāt make them sick. Be kind.
Telling kids their taste buds will change as they grow is a game changer. Iāve known many kids who were yelled at so much for being a picky eater that they dug in their heels, refused to eat certain foods, and never retried them even when they were adults. But explaining how child taste buds are different in an āisnāt that interesting!ā way will get the kids into it
Explain the science of taste buds to children, tell them itās okay they donāt like certain tastes because it means their body is trying to keep them safe, and tell them they might want to retry foods throughout their life because theyāll taste different as they age. Every single time Iāve done this the child has been excited to retry foods as they grow
All kids are scientists. If you tell them itās okay to experiment with food theyāll be eager to do itĀ
Some foods will also just scare them off because theyāre different every time you try them so itās like a Russian roulette but for your taste buds, and I feel like a lot of parents seem to forget that.
Also undiagnosed allergies and especially intolerances are a thing.
I almost never ate fruit as a kid. Turns out I canāt digest most local fruits unless I take antihistamines first, but I only discovered that as an adult, so I was called picky as a kid because I preferred sugary snacks that donāt make me nauseous over healthy fruits that do.
I had a very similar issue. I have something called oral allergy syndrome, and the way it works is that I am severely allergic to every type of pollen in my home state, and the pollen is chemically similar to a certain protein that exists in a lot of fruits, vegetables, and nuts. This caused me to have a similar allergic reaction as I did to pollen. The thing is, this protein breaks down when exposed to heat.
So there I was, able to eat cooked fruits and veggies, but raw fruits, veggies, and nuts caused me pain. And when youāre a parent who doesnāt know that thatās actually something that can happen, you think your kid is just picky. I constantly got yelled at as a kid, and forced to eat stuff that genuinely caused me pain and discomfort because my mom wouldnāt listen to me. It wasnāt until I was like 15 that I was informed that I had the disorder.
So please, if your kid doesnāt want to eat something, you should listen to them. Thereās almost always a reason for it.
Quick update: Iām currently in the process of being officially tested (once again, but this time with a knowledgeable doctor and not some dickhead who diagnoses people with Vagina Owner Syndrome when test results are confusing) and the doctor suspects either oral allergy syndrome too, or mast cell activation syndrome. Currently working with a dietician to figure out what I can and canāt eat too, because being forced to eat foods I canāt digest during childhood really fucked up my ability to figure out whatās a normal reaction to food and what isnāt in later life. Iām still discovering things that I thought were normal but actually are allergy symptoms on an almost daily basis and Iām frigginā 30 years old.
So to people who saw my addition and the next one to this post and realised they have the same thing, talk to a doctor and know thereās a name for this.
And to parents: please listen to your kids. Sure, some will be fussy eaters, but if they genuinely hate a food or tell you it makes them feel ābadā or āweirdā or āsickā or if it ātastes badā or whatever other words they may use to tell you, listen! Kids donāt have life experience: they canāt tell you āhey parental unit, ingesting raw apple induces vomiting in my digestive system, so maybe donāt feed that to meā or āmy neurodivergence makes me particularly sensitive to certain sensory textures and this food makes me want to claw my tongue out of my mouthā. Theyāll use whatever vocabulary is at their disposal, and sometimes that boils down to confusing words like ātastes badā even if it makes them sick, because thatās a phrase they know.
Youāre currently setting up your kid for their later life. Everything you do shapes them. If you donāt notice anythingās wrong when it is, or if you minimise their symptoms, theyāll grow up to be adults that think what they experience is normal, and theyāll never get the medical help they need.
And I know youāre doing your best! You want to be the best parent you can be, youād never actively harm your kid! Parenting is hard, and I acknowledge that! But just know that even with the best intentions, sometimes mistakes are made. This is just one way to potentially avoid such a mistake.
For people who have picky eaters, and for adults who have food struggles, I highly recommend books by Dr. Katja Rowell. She has a book for parents, another specifically for foster and adoptive parents, and a book aimed at teens/adults.

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overstimulation/sensory overload really is like sorry I canāt hear you over the sound of my shirt tag being itchy and these two strands of hair touching my face and the tv and one of my shoelaces being undone and air touching me and the plane flying overhead and my own thoughts about remembering to buy hummus
i canāt talk i have socks on
From Bath Design (1986)
Obviously the health officials did not talk to anyone even loosely affiliated with an actual school. For reasons big or small, terrible or sympathetic, parents send children to school sick all the time.
Schools have spent decades encouraging nonsensical levels of attendance, rewarding kids who donāt take a single day off all term/semester/year, and even punishing kids who take ātoo muchā time off sick. Kids who actually get ill enough to stay home miss out on fun things and āprizesā and awards, because going to school with the flu (or almost anything else) is considered right, good, and necessary.
Then a pandemic comes along that solidly half the population insists is ājust the fluā and you think people are going to forget that you indoctrinated them to believe that if they were capable of being conscious (and sometimes not even then) they should be in school? (And later, in work - this is at least part of the point of this stuff, training you to work while sick).
To say nothing of the simple fact that parents are frequently without childcare options and are forced to be in work even if they should be isolating. Thatās also a huge problem.
my school district used to regularly remind us that they would take us and our parents to court if we had too many āunexcusedā absences. my middle brother actually had it happen to him when his mental illness caused him to miss too many days. the way schools fixate on attendance is absolutely going to get people killed.
Does anyone who struggles with an anxiety disorder shame themselves because things that used to be easy now seem so challenging?
Iām flying home and I have all these nerves. Iāve flown home like 100 times. Iāve literally flown to New Zealand. Iāve literally PILOTED A PLANE. And jumped out of one. Why do I have these nerves? Itās like the disruption to my daily routine thatās giving me nerves. Nervous because Iām only home for a few days and I have assignments due during that time, and I want to see people but thereās Covid, and I have to make a decision about grad school while Iām home, so Iām sure thatās all building up.
But I decided to transfer to UNCW on my own and donāt remember ever feeling this confused or scared. I survived a semester of full time work and full time school before. Iām completed school assignments while being home visiting friends and family and traveling before. Why does it feel so difficult to function, like itās all too much.
Iāve handled so much more. Iām beating myself up because I feel like thereās no reason to feel this stressed out. I didnāt use to be like this. While I feel I manage my anxiety really well day to day, whenever something changes in my routine I feel all out of sorts. I used to crave change. I donāt understand why Iām like this.
Maybe Iāve gotten too comfortable.Ā

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How Black and White Thinking Hurts You
(and What You Can Do to Change It)
Black and white thinking is the tendency to think in extremes: I am a brilliant success, or I am an utter failure. My boyfriend is an angel, or Heās the devil incarnate. This thought pattern, which the American Psychological Association also calls dichotomous or polarized thinking, is considered a cognitive distortion because it keeps us from seeing the world as it often is: complex, nuanced, and full of all the shades in between.
An all-or-nothing mindset doesnāt allow us to find the middle ground. And letās face it: Thereās a reason most people donāt live on Everest or in the Mariana Trench. Itās hard to sustain life at those extremes. Most of us engage in dichotomous thinking from time to time. In fact, some experts think this pattern may have its origins in human survival ā our fight or flight response. But if thinking in black and white becomes a habit, it can:
⢠hurt your physical and mental health
⢠sabotage your career
⢠cause disruption in your relationships
(Note: There is conversation in the sexual health and mental health fields about NOT referring to dichotomous or polarized thinking in terms of āblack and white thinkingā as it could be interpreted as referring color and race. More often, professionals refer to it as extremes or polarizations.)
Here, we discuss:
⢠how to recognize polarized thoughts
⢠what they could be telling you about your health
⢠what you can do to develop a more balanced outlook
Certain words can alert you that your thoughts are becoming extreme.
⢠always
⢠never
⢠impossible
⢠disaster
⢠furious
⢠ruined
⢠perfect
Of course, these words arenāt bad in themselves. However, if you notice that they keep coming up in your thoughts and conversations, it could be a signal that youāve adopted a black and white perspective on something.
Relationships happen between individuals, whether they see each other as family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, or something else entirely. And because people have ups and downs (to phrase it dichotomously), plus quirks and inconsistencies, conflicts inevitably arise. If we approach normal conflicts with dichotomous thinking, weāll probably draw the wrong conclusions about other people, and weāll miss opportunities to negotiate and compromise. Worse still, black and white thinking can cause a person to make decisions without thinking about the impact of that decision on themselves and others involved. Examples include:
⢠suddenly moving people from the āgood personā category to the ābad personā category
⢠quitting a job or firing people
⢠breaking up a relationship
⢠avoiding genuine resolution of the issues
⢠Dichotomous thinking often shifts between idealizing and devaluing others. Being in a relationship with someone who thinks in extremes can be really difficult because of the repeated cycles of emotional upheaval.
Black and white thinking can also cause people to:
⢠look at certain foods as good or bad
⢠look at their own bodies as either perfect or revolting
⢠eat in binge-purge, all-or-nothing cycles
Researchers have also found that dichotomous thinking can lead people to create rigid dietary restraints, which can make it hard to maintain a healthy relationship with food.
How can you change black and white thinking?
Black and white thinking can really make things difficult for you personally and professionally, and has been linked to mental health conditions that are treatable.
For these reasons, itās important to talk to a psychotherapist or mental health professional if you notice that thinking in extremes is affecting your health, relationships, or mood.
You may want to work with someone who is trained in cognitive behavioral therapyTrusted Source, because it has been proven effective in dealing with dichotomous thinking.
You may also find it helpful to try some of these methods:
Try to separate what you do from who you are. When we equate our performance on a single metric with our overall worth, weāre going to become vulnerable to black and white thinking.
Try listing options. If black and white thinking has you locked into only two outcomes or possibilities, as an exercise, write down as many other options as you can imagine. If youāre having trouble getting started, try coming up with three alternatives at first.
Practice reality reminders. When you feel paralyzed by black and white thinking, say or write small factual statements, like There are several ways I can solve this problem, Iāll make a better decision if I take time to get more information, and Both of us may be partially right.
Find out what other people think. Black and white thinking can keep you from seeing things from someone elseās perspective. When youāre in conflict with someone, calmly ask clarifying questions so you can come to a clear understanding of their viewpoint.
The bottom line
Black and white thinking is a tendency to think in extremes. While itās normal from time to time, developing a pattern of dichotomous thinking can interfere with your health, relationships, and career. Itās associated with anxiety, depression, and a number of personality disorders, so if you find yourself hampered by thinking in black and white, itās important to talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you to learn some strategies to gradually change this thought pattern and live a healthier and more fulfilling life.
Love is enough
Do you see this woman
I love her.
I appreciate her.
I would die for her.
Thereās something so grounding about reading about the lesbians that lived before me. Knowing that weāre not alone, others have been down the same path. That there were lesbians before us, lesbians who survived so much worse, that there will be other lesbians after usā weāre not going any where.Ā

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ālesbianā is a beautiful, good, important, strong word and lesbians are beautiful, good, important, and strong. good night
What house decor screams āIām straightā?
I canāt decide which one of these I like best