Mother of Divine Sinners

Sci-fi short stories are so efficient; they take 15 minutes to read and then you think about them for the next 5 years

Hey guys, what if *puts the most horrifying mindblowing concept into your head with about 15 pages*

do you know how much of a letdown it was to grow up smelling the aged whiskey in my grandpa's pantry. the wine in my parents' dinner glasses. the anise liquor on summer evenings. and finally being of drinking age and finding out it all kinda just tastes like car exhaust

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

You guys hear about that 18 month old baby at a zoo that wandered away from their parents (who were on their phones…), entered a restricted zone, stuck their hand into the wolf enclosure and got bit? The parents are being charged with child endangerment but what I want to know is why the fuck does this keep happening? You do not have to take your toddler to the zoo, especially a one and a half year old who is too young to fully appreciate the zoo. You could have stayed at home and scrolled on your phone while ignoring your baby in an environment containing 0 carnivorous apex predators. You would think the zoo would be one place parents feel the need to constantly supervise their kids but no, they’re like “Oh yeah, honey, go ahead and go swimming in the stingray tank, I’m going to play Candy Crush for 45 minutes.”

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

"there's no such thing as the dark side of the moon" yes there is. the dark side of the moon isn't always the same parts of the moon, but whatever side of the moon is facing away from the sun is dark. imagine saying "there's no dark side of the earth" when billions of people are experiencing nighttime at any given moment. shut up Neil

Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.

keep thinking about how I wrote in my dissertation about how every time a new form of public/social space emerges it's immediately popular with kids and teenagers who see it as a chance at freedom and then adults colonise it and kick them out. this happened with malls in the 80s and diners in the 50s and pool halls in the 20s. my dad was doing research on this trend in like 1975. and I was like "yeah so this is going to happen to the internet" and then five years later every government suddenly decided to ban kids from everywhere online. I hate being right especially when I don't even get paid for it

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street