A Curiosity Burns

our brains latch on to those things and bring them up repeatedly. someone said one of my trigger words three days ago, (they knew it was a TW for me and I actually told them to stop saying it, but they said it multiple times regardless) and it has been repeating in my head over and over again since then. 3 days. that's 72 hours, 48 hours of consciousness I've had to hear it. I have been getting triggered and re-triggered and I haven't had a moment of peace other than sleeping. I can't even ignore it. I just have to sit there and listen to it on repeat and try not to have a breakdown.

we are not being dramatic, and it's not too much to ask for you to stop saying it. just because you think we're exaggerating does not give you the right to purposely try and trigger us, and if you're aware of someone's trigger, you should be doing your best to avoid it whenever you're around them.

Doctor: And what type of pain is it?

Me: Sour

Doctor: ... Sour?

Me: Yeah like, the pain feels sour. Like imagine a sour food but it's pain

other parts of executive dysfunction include:

emotional dysregulation

poor impulse control

difficulty with working memory, short-term memory loss (forgetting things that were recently or just said, heard, or done)

easily losing or misplacing belongings

difficulty learning from consequences

engaging in socially inappropriate behavior without realizing it

difficulty examining one’s own behavior

difficulty adapting to new circumstances / panic about change in routine

persistently underestimating or overestimating tasks, difficulty with prioritizing tasks

difficulty understanding different points of view

difficulty following steps in a sequence

mental over-fixation (special interests, “hyperfixations,” etc.)

executive dysfunction also presents in:

other developmental conditions (autism, learning disabilities, dyspraxia/DCD, tourette’s syndrome, down syndrome, etc.) 

schizophrenia and other forms of psychosis

bipolar disorder

acquired brain injuries

parkinson’s and other neurodegenerative conditions

conduct disorder / anti-social personality disorder

ptsd / cptsd

generalized anxiety disorder / social anxiety disorder

obsessive-compulsive disorder

major depressive disorder / dysthymia

eating disorders

body dysmorphic disorder

and more that aren’t listed here!

the one flickering light right next to my seat at Denny's:

Here we have an autistic character. VOICED BY an autistic person.

How often do autistic people get non-ableist representation? How often do black, female, non-speaking autistic people get representation *at all*?

The answer is never.

So, I know it’s not Autism Acceptance Month YET but I don’t think I can wait until then to jot this down.

Here are some reminders for allistic allies that are incredibly important:

1. “Aspie,” “autist,” and “sperg” are NOT your words and they never will be. Stop using these words if you aren’t autistic.

2. Aspergers and autism are the same thing. If you were diagnosed with “aspergers” you have autism. Aspergers is not a “less severe” form of autism. There is no such thing as a “less severe” form of autism.

3. Furthermore, the term “aspergers” has a checkered past, and the word is considered problematic at best. If you were diagnosed with aspergers and still want to call yourself an “aspie” or still want to say you have aspergers, that’s up to you, but allistics shouldn’t have a say in what an autistic person calls themself.

4. STOP USING “HIGH FUNCTIONING/LOW FUNCTIONING” TO DESCRIBE US! It’s incredibly insulting to refer to an autistic person based on how well we supposedly “function.”

5. No, it’s not “person with autism” it’s “autistic person” or whatever the autistic individual wants to refer to themself as.

6. Words like “moron,” “imbecile,” “lame,” etc. have roots in ableism, and while it’s not required that you purge them from your vocabulary, it’s incredibly important that you keep in mind their ableist past when an autistic or otherwise neurodivergent person tells you they are uncomfortable with certain words.

7. You cannot reclaim the r-slur unless you are neurodivergent, and using the r-slur as an insult, no matter who you are, is ableist and hurts ND people.

8. As with number 7, using autistic as an insult is also ableist no matter who does it, and harms ND people (autistic people in particular).

9. ABA, no matter how much it’s evolved over the years, has hurt and continues to hurt autistic people.

10. Autism manifests differently in everyone. While there are a lot of common symptoms we share, not everyone experiences autism the same way. Someone’s 5 year old autistic son will likely not behave the same way as a 30 year old autistic woman, but that doesn’t make either of them less valid.

11. Hold your faves accountable when they say or do ableist stuff. William Shatner and Sia are prime examples of famous people who are ableist specifically towards autistic people.

12. Stuff like MMS and other unscientific “treatments” for autism are NOT a thing of the past, and autistic kids are STILL being fed industrial bleach and other harmful things to this day.

13. Vaccines do NOT cause autism. They never have, and they never will. The man who came up with that myth lost his medical license BEFORE making those claims. Furthermore, those claims he made had very little if no science at all backing them up. The results were purposefully skewed in his favor.

14. ALL autistic people deserve love and respect. That includes those of us with severe anger issues, adults who have meltdowns, autistic people who wear diapers, nonverbal autistic people, those of us who have stimming behaviors that aren’t considered “cute” or “charming,” etc.

15. For the love of heck, STOP using the terms “special interest” and “hyperfixation” for things you really REALLY enjoy if you are NOT neurodivergent! Special interest is an autism specific term, so only autistic people can use it. Hyperfixation is for EVERY neurodivergent person, but NOT for neurotypicals.

16. Also, if you are not neurodivergent, you cannot call your love for satisfying behaviors “stimming.” Neurotypical people do not “stim.”

17. Sesame Street may be a classic, but in recent times, they have also shown support for Autism Speaks, which is an ableist organization that aims to eradicate autism instead of support those of us who have it. Liking Sesame Street or The Muppets doesn’t make you ableist, but it’s important to denounce their decision to partner with Auti$m $peak$.

18. Auti$m $peak$ aims to profit off of the suffering of autistic people. Their goal is not to provide help and support, their goal is to find a “cure” for autism, rather than provide actual support for autistic people. They often incorporate harmful tactics to try and “fix” autistic children, and they completely ignore or flat out deny that autistic adults exist. There is so much more wrong with A$ that I don’t have the time or patience to go into. Just do your research and listen to actual autistic people before you decide to side with an organization.

19. ADHD people and autistic people tend to share similar experiences, but ADHD and autism are NOT the same thing.

20. “Cringe culture” directly harms autistic people. I know by now the term “cringe culture is dead” has probably gotten grating, but in order to make the world more comfortable for autistic people, we have to dismantle the idea that certain behaviors are “cringe.” Cringe culture harms pretty much everyone (albeit indirectly for some people), but it is especially harmful to those of us with autism.

21. The color blue and the puzzle piece symbol are no longer acceptable ways to show support for autistic people, as both have ties with Auti$m $peak$ and various other ableist ideas. Nowadays, we use the color red and the infinity symbol instead.

22. Many autistic people have trauma tied to being called “weird,” “annoying,” “mental,” “freaks,” etc. so keep that in mind when you talk to/about us or use those words to describe someone.

Allistic people are encouraged to reblog, but don’t add anything (including unnecessary stuff in the tags).

“It’s one of my distant likes. I still really like it when it comes up.”

And I just had to record it somewhere because I think it’s such a wise and simple way of expressing an important concept. Sometimes I feel like I’m neglecting an interest if I don’t do anything about it for a long period of time, like I can’t really say I like it if I don’t keep it up, but no, it’s just… it’s a distant like. That’s its own thing now.

Being on the spectrum can be difficult, especially when you really need to communicate but find yourself unable to. I've been there: you feel overwhelmed, and you really just want people to stop talking to you, because your brain is being overloaded with information that you can't quite figure out how to verbalize.

Well, my mom and I saw some basic wristbands at the store, and I figured, "hey, these could be perfect for letting people know when I need to be left alone."

The gist of the idea is that these bands work as a communication aid, where there are two sides with different colors. One color means "I'm good, you can talk to me!" and the other means "sorry, I can't communicate right now, please leave me alone."

Mine look like this:

They're not perfect, but I think I'm gonna make some more with thinner bracelets.

All you need is a couple bands and some super glue, and maybe a clip to hold them together.

The bands I used look sort of like this (pre-project):

The first thing you'll want to do is choose your colors (preferably ones that contrast each other well, e.g. red & blue). Put one band inside the other. If there are words on the outside, you can just flip it so that the words will be concealed on the inside. If you have difficulty getting them to fit with each other, get something cylindrical and wrap the bands around it, so that they're layered on top of each other.

Next, put the super glue between the bands. If they're wrapped around a cylinder, pull the top band away from the other slightly, just enough that the middle of the bottom one can be seen; if they're on a flat surface, clip them together and separate the bands slightly. Squeeze a little glue between them, first in the middle, then at the top to seal them together. The glue will dry quickly, so act fast. Rotate the bands and repeat this step until you've glued them together completely. Wait a few minutes for it to dry. Then flip it over and do the same thing on the other side.

Voilà! You're done! Just put it on and you're good to go. (They can also be helpful in classroom settings, for those that have difficulty engaging in group activities, or whose anxiety skyrockets when they're called on by a teacher.)