Clover

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

rock & roll

girl i just walked into that one like a coyote with a painted tunnel

goodposting example: hey guys, just fucked a bug

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why this lady keep coming to the front desk to ask me fuckass questions bro I have to shit so bad I AM CROWNING

Just had a woman come to the front desk crashing out bc she couldn’t figure out how to “operate a tide pod” (her words). She came down to the front desk and I told her “you just need to pop it into the wash”. And she went “oh…should I squeeze it?” And she squeezed it super hard and it exploded right there. This woman is in her 50’s

The lizard has yet to be found :(

i need to gush about how incredibly seamless her compositing is in these. Compositing is incredibly hard and time consuming work on a crisp clean digital image. But compositing into what seems to be a scanned photograph that was shot on film? Insane work. The film grain + photo paper texture is matched perfectly as well as the varying softness from being slightly out of focus in different amounts in each image. Each film stock has its own specific tone too some are warmer, others are more purply, or green and they all handle contrast with light and shadow completely differently. There was so much to take into account doing this and i really dont know how she did it other than maybe finding those locations again and shooting with the same film stock on a day with similar lighting. I cannot stress enough that for professional photographers doing complex compositing is mostly relegated to having a fully locked down camera set up in studio under controlled repeatable lighting. Super impressive and a really fantastic photo series truly.

You gotta watch this one the whole way through.

we got an Uber to the airport and the guy comes out looking like he's died a thousand deaths and we hear screaming from the car speakers and he just goes "I'm in deep shit." and we load into the car with a woman absolutely cussing this dude out on speaker with our baby happily asking "that? that? that?"

the only coherent thing we could make out was "YOU PICKED SOMEONE UP???" followed by I'll kill you I'll kill you I'll kill you like did we just sentence our Uber driver to death

I wanna see the most embarrassing ones!

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.