Alex

Foul beast ate that adventurer whole, RIP

This has always bothered me too and it didn't make sense until someone older told me that when they were growing up "scare quotes" were used the way we used *asterisks* or ALL CAPS for emphasis

why does oscar wilde take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph

gay

compelling argument

what does this say about victor hugo

no he was just french

R.R Tolkien?

autistic infodumping

Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an autistic gay Frenchman would be. :p

that’s a BABY?

JESUS THAT WAS MORE THAN 1 ANXIETY

I AM A WHOLESALE PROVIDER

…when they self-amputate their lower bodies, do you think it just keeps wiggling around down there like a 42-foot-long dismembered lizard tail?

This is the best ever "it gets better" reason I can think of. If no other reason appeals to you, do it for the robotic dinosaur tail.

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

Reblog if you were born in the 1900's.

the more you listen to it, the funnier it gets

Audio: dramatic piano. The husky screams along, vaguely keeping the rhythm but not the tune

That last ROO always gets me

I’ll need to run it by the black mold first before making any major decisions

the place I work at remodeled these split gendered restrooms into “inclusive restrooms” and never told us what they meant while construction was ongoing. I need you to know every atom of potential criticism or whining that could’ve happened disappeared when people found out this meant we got 10 fully separate private bathrooms with sinks inside. I’ve not heard a single person crack a joke about the inclusive signage. this is the world TERFs are trying to steal from you

We Are the Daughters of the Microbes Who Could Survive in an Oxygen-rich Atmosphere

I’ve never been to law school so I do wonder sometimes what percentage of people in there think that this is just a stepping stone on their way to becoming a senator or other sort of big important government guy

Like the number can’t be zero. Especially among white men with well to do parents and hair gel.

Have been to law school and can confirm these dudes exist.

Considering you probably had to interact with them, you have my condolences.

Just so you all know, my tumblr glitched egregiously so now every time someone reblogs this from me, tumblr takes me off of my dashboard or search results and forces me to see this post again

WHY DID SOMEONE ADD AN INCINERATOR ????

I STILL HAVE TO SEE THIS BTW. ITS BEEN YEARS.

And you will see it again.