Husianna

a prepossession of who you are molded into his brain. someone whos always been shy and quiet, unneeding of anyone or anything else, even before you met the bat. someone who after their brother died became a hermit, completely hiding themself away wether from grief or just preference, he didnt particularly care.

someone his family has all but forgot about not only because of your nature but because you just werent a robin. someone who the family doesnt need and never has. youre frivolous to the house, what he believes when he lets himself only glance.

hed always been too obsessed with other things, family, friends, crime, school, all grabbing for his attention. all more interesting than a lingering thought in the back of his mind he never seems to catch, hopeless to scratch.

an idea hed love to look into one day. a day he knows probably will never come simply due to the nature of his life. if he had the choice, a eternity of knowledge, youd be at the top of the list he looks into but theres no eternity and theres no reason to. you just have never been important enough. never looking, never knowing, never thinking truly about you.

strangely though, a fixation is easiest to adapt, to learn, to digest if its in limited supply, for a limited time. he never thought there would be a limit to you. no youve been the same for so many years, why would you change now? of all times? when hes finally calming his obsessive tendencies down? when hes becoming his own person? why now?

it happened faster than he could ever anticipate and it didnt take much to reach the conclusion. you were gone, fled, flown the nest.

you had never seemed your brightest returning through those heavy mahogany doors, the few times you did leave, on the other hand you were always buzzing. bag tossed over your shoulder, red cheeked and heels hot, anxious but excited.

that night though, the last night youd been caught on the cctv entering or leaving the premises, you werent just buzzing, you were shaking. hauling your load down to the taxi pulled up to the manor, arms packed full just enough you had to shift a box to your hip to open doors.

itd been two months since that recording.

he didnt really know why he was suddenly interested. he wasnt even quite sure what made him realize you were gone. he assumed your absence simply made the desolate manor a little more empty. but you didnt really fill up much space, no one really spoke to you unless it was necessary and you were good at making it curt. did anyone even think of you as an actual member of the home? you just werent apart of the family.

he isnt really sure why you missing affects anything. he doesnt even like you, youre just a civilian bruce picked up because you needed a home and dick begged for a sibling. there wasnt anything intresting about you more than that you had been affected by jasons death. but he couldnt help but find himself curious...

why had b and dick forgotten about you? why had alfred and barbra gone along with it? why hadnt he grown curious about you like he had to every other aspect of bruce and dicks lives? why hadnt anyone out of all the proactive individuals that reside in the family not gotten curious about you? it was weird, strange in a way that left an ashy taste on his tongue. you were apart of the family. it felt like a weighted ball on his tongue. why aren't you anymore?

it just isnt like bruce and it isnt like dick and it isnt like barbra or alfred and it isnt like tim. why had they forgotten about you?

tims brain wouldnt shut up, no your name played over and over even as he tried to drown it out with music and podcasts and live streams and calls but none of it really helped. what did help is your name pulling up a few articles when he searched it.

a handful of news headlines hollowly echoing your name back at him, reporting of the newly adopted wards, you and jason and then both of you starting middleschool and of jasons death and asking what happened to you too. some assuming bruce killed you for some conspiracy, some saying bruce was getting over protective of his kids now, and none of them were right.

leaving him to just wonder why they werent? why hadnt bruce doubled down like he swore he would? why did they all let you hide and rot?

it made him so sick that his hands jumped back to the mouse and board, a few blogs asking what happened to you, some threads curious of the wayne history. none knowing what happened to you and worse nothing about you. it was like you never really existed at all. like you were just a myth, nothing more than the loch ness monster or the sasquatch.

its frustrating! he doesnt know why he suddenly cares. you just got out, your probably happier enjoying being alone and free and not couped up in your stuffy bedroom. his lifes better without you too, so why is his throat tight? why does he feel nauseous?

at least now at 2 in the morning he doesnt have to adjust the thermostat for the 12th time and theres not as much creaking of the old floorboards at 4 am but also at the end of the night no one turns the grand chandelier off because the buzzing disrupts their sleep before he eventually gets restless enough to do it and the birds damian loves watching dont seem to be around as much anymore because you had always fed them.

but besides that everything is normal, everyone is normal. its quiet, enjoyable as always, nothing changed. you werent anything special or important and he doesnt care about you.

but you were afflicted by something important and regretfully special, something that shouldn't have happened. bruce is overprotective, he stalks everyone! trackers, hidden mics, cameras on cameras on cameras, so much tim couldnt count if he tried! neglect wasn't in his vocabulary so why had he done it to you? what happened?

dick is the same as his father, hes constantly harassing everyone in the family anytime he can. clinging and stalking and bothering, just to get a rise out of them! and barbra, shes so attentive! shes always there for everyone, even while having so much going on. why hadnt she offered her comfort to you too? not to mention alfred, were all his grandkids hes usually more rational than this, than neglecting a kid!

this was weird. this was strange. this was terrible. hes a hero, he has to fix it right? even more hes a detective. he has to find out what had happened to ruin things between you all. grief usually brings the family together, bonding over trauma is why batman and robin first formed! why had you been ostrisizied?

hes starting to feel dizzy but he cant think about that right now. it cant be as simple as you just werent apart of the team, it cant be. even if tims superficial like that, bruce and dick and barbra arent, atleast not anymore. they understand better than anyone the importance of civilians, so why are you nothing to them? his grip on the mouse only got tighter, his heel kept bouncing faster, harder.

why have you been nothing to him? the wires clinging to his chest sway as he does and he only barely remembers to hit the button of his monitor as his heart flutters and his whole chest tightens. he should try to calm down but he cant. just what the hell happened? had you tried to get them to love you again at any point? did you purposely make them all forget about you? how could you have that doesnt make sense, you were a kid!

why had you just run? why hadnt you tried talking to them again? atleast once more? hes sure he could have started caring for you, if you just spoke to him! he wants to care about you now! he doesnt know why but he does! why did you leave? how can he get you back? so he can understand you, analyze a key part of his family he missed for so long! no, he can get to that. this moment he needs to know, where are you now?

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a/n : yay!!! new series is out!! this is all ive been able to think about for the past week! yippieeee!! i hope you guys like it! most of the parts are already in progress and this is gonna be longer than my previous series!