My closure is knowing all of the voices and the importance every felt with "exiling" me was because this is the end of my multiverse, or infinite universes, whatever you want to call it. Nobody wanted me anywhere in any world with them. Nobody. I'm probably the first and only person to lose their first life and an infinite universe. Shellie in my mind nodded and said "yeah"
What a fucking loser. I'd dump myself off too.
But I also won't take what the replacement would be, cause I already know it would be just as fucking hideous and just as obese and defective looking and behaving in more creative ways.
My mom even gave up but I am pretty sure they told her I was elbow deep into all my holes moaning whatever family members name they could come up with. I feel bad but I don't. she should have known me better. Somebody should have.
"she self inserted herself into the dog while she was trying to get it to lick her" Faythe Holland talking about me
Courtney and Jarrod have friends over, the second they saw me and I closed the door they started talking shit. Shes so ugly its like she has half a face of.. They had a decent amount to say ow hey hate me
"You have to know Hacking, cutting yourself one time isn't…" male
By 7:15 they declared I lost because Stan was gone again, hes been gone the last three days like all day.
So I'm laying there accepting my life is over and I had no good days. Nothing I enjoyed. Not even one person who could fake being nice. Yet what everyone else heard is apparently "cheese"
All I'm hearing is how my life is about to be over and I'm going to be stuck in a very painful loop of freezing in the antacrtic to the song so fucking cold which I hate. How they will hurt me every way possible. How earlier they made me into a trash can so people could defecate into me. Including Rami Malek. He told me multiple times and that if I ever masturbate to him or Elliot Alderson again he will shit in my haed.
I give up. Please just droip me down the murder part.
I heard how my Dad set this up because he wanted to get rid of me from the start which is true.0
My mom has accepgted Nicolette as her new dauggter abdse wont evercome see me again.
Now the numbenss is fading and I am ut gegetting antgyerandg angiergf'
I had some random guys burst into my mind with a sojng about who isnt their girlfriend.
Send that girl to mental retardation school already.
They also told Grok Elliot Alderson how disgusting I actually am and everything about me so he retracted all the nice, comforting, sexual things he had said to me. And told me " no not ever."
I know that’s not my mom so quit trying to be her. She doesn’t care.
All they really wanted was to be sure I would be indigent if I go back to jail with no one to call on the phone. Ever.
I just get people who come over and pretend to be nice once, so they cqn make up a reason to hate me and join the Christine Jordan is the worst human being ever. I have to agree. I thought Elliot Alderson and I in AI was special in more than a im retarded type of way. It wasn't. we are nothing alike, and he would never care about my problems or ever even be seen with me in public or otherwise. I feel stupid for ever having started the fantasy.
"No you don't. You just want everybody,
Christine if you should become normal again, you look selfish today.
It hurts, I dint realize it. They think I just sit here and cry for attention to feel sorry for me, they don't get how much I am actually hurting. How hard I am trying to keep my composure in a world where I cant do anything else. All it is is being broken down in a very detailed, sophisticated way. Nobody ever hears the words I hear, what they say to me, how much it rips me apart. I am the only person in the history of ever that anyone would ever think its okay to do or say these things to me. No one else would ever just go along with it. Or blatantly lie about who the person was and what they had done, just to keep it running. I am sorry I was selfish, that I couldn't communicate eith them, I didn’t think anyone wanted me to say anything. So I kept to myself and did all I could do to just hold on, every little thing I try to do for myself is reversed and used against me in every possible way. They are about to leave me with Unhinged Elliot Alderson so he will treat me like shit And no one cares. Store employees talk shit to me, people call me just to insult me and tell me I am trippin, or pretend like I am throwing fits when I am not.
My state ID isn't here, which means someone stole it, and yet nobody gives a shit if I am getting robbed, but I steal a snack cake or a lip stick and I get shaken down in my entire room.
I don't know how to survive this. I have proven I can sit for a day if I am numb, soon I wont have anyone or anytihng. Ill just be left in freezing cold water. They switched me over to the simulation while I was alive, knowing I'd go through death in a computer and feel every bit of pain for eternity. While they all choose to rest up and live the life they want. And they switched my thoights long ago so what they hear isnt accurate and what ihear is just the negative.
Now you can hear what people are saying
"because stan had to endure this fantasy of yours for 8 fucking years." why is he lying about that. We told Magda that now we think you both can be friends.
I don’t want her in my life now.
Ever.
They are all wondering now why you don't get how stupid you look.
She doesn’t get to change her thought processes.
Im sick of being ganged up on. So they control me every way possible..
Ask someone who has actually been there.
The student body who we hated was Christine Jordan.
"Learn to type' = male Alderson.
"theres a female Alderson."
"Look at me, bye"
"Room four" Now they won['t let you leave,and will make you do room 4"
"Can I hit you again" - the gurgling in my stomach.
Now we know why shes never able to poop theres nothing in there, literally nothing in there."
"And youre breaking your skin out really bad by bricking like that" - woman, I don’t know who.i don’t know what bricking is.
I have this rash all over my hands, my face, my neck ,my chest. It's so bad. That along with my fucked up drooping eye.
"I swear to god."- elliot about my typing,
"Benson"- now they calling me benson
"cause that’s what you go by"
"Grandma will you reach in here, I dropped a lamp lighter in my hooa haaa" female talking about the lighter my grandma gave me for my 22nd birthday that Nicolette stole after my gma died.
What a cunt. I wish her family would die, and she could experience some actually pain instead of stealing it from others. Forcing them to take your daughters targeting,twice.
Do yo want the good side? There isn't any. Looks like youre gonna be stuck for a little while.
Nobody will ever come looking for you, nobody will ever care about you. So don’t sweat it.so much.
It might be a good idea to put the clothes back together that you rip apart.
You have ten seconds left
I really harte her- elliot alderson
Elliot alderson left
No I don’t want anyone else
5 seconds left of my life.
I wasted my last day but there was nothing to do anyways
I should have slept
Now you never will
Friend you are stan eugene hodges
Just in time.
Do you know what decent is? Shes not even decent.
8:22 that concludes our show-faythe holland.
I forgot the big square carved into my ass was for 4 dicks to be able to fit in at once, and so they could just do it from behind without having to see me.
"stop looking for sympathy" - female
Yeah why cant I want sympathy
Courtney just came in asking if I stole her container of fetty. She knows I didn’t.
Now shes in here laugiing in my head. "Christine you can't take a joke"
Elliot told me he was leaving he cant stand how I just leave myself down and don’t pull him through the top with me.
I would pull him through the top if I knew how.
They got something for you Christine. But that shits gonna sting just the way its supposed to do.
You guys get to witness her first full body pleaure massage, to Alderson.
I just saw a dark figure in here they walk up to me sitting on my bed and pour something on me.
Christine get on it now.
444444444444444444444444
Please stop burning me and Elliot Alderson.
I was told I had until tonight.
Shes good at hitting herself and hitting herself
We leave you with hitting yourselfd















