cla

On the other hand, while he didn't make Niall ugly like he once threatened, he did kill him. He killed him brutally but beautifully, Niall's familiar face left intact.

All this rage, but it was love that made Ruben snap fully.

First we have Mona, during the scene where Niall loses his virginity. Niall's body is focused on Mona's (it has to be) but his mind and attention is fully on Ruben. Ruben is leading the act and Mona looks almost like a physical intermediary. Not to mention Ruben's closeness during it. Even Alby, after knowing this, says to Niall that "no doubt Ruben feels like a part of him". Also, this one of the endless ways Ruben owns Niall's body (deciding when and how he "becomes a man" and guiding him through it).

Then there's Celeste. During the spin the bottle scene she kisses Ruben first and then Niall a few seconds later. Like the act went through her. Also Celeste is first interested in Niall but ultimately choses Ruben, but this is probably a way for Ruben to "impose" his masculinity.

Going back to Mona, as an adult now. She has an affair with Niall and bears his child but of course Ruben thinks he is the father. If you squint it's almost like they have a child together, through Mona again.

Last but not least there is probably Alby. During the wedding Ruben and Niall isolate from the world, like they always did. As if the wedding (where Niall finally joins a man he loves) instead of being the beginning of Niall's life with Alby is the ending of Niall's life with Ruben (which is basically the end of his OWN life because of Ruben, because they are bound together. And again, Ruben deciding what to do with Niall's body, when and how). The story being written it's not with Alby, but with Ruben. And in a way Niall did join a man he loved in the finale. But it wasn't Alby.

I don't know if this has any sense, Half Man was such an incredible work and i wanted to share some thoughts

Both Ruben and Niall end up marrying a person from their past. Ruben marries his highschool girlfriend and Niall marries the first boy he is intimate with in college.

It's obvious they really can't move on from the past, but there's something else. Both Mona and Alby are a constant reminder of Ruben (for Niall) and Niall (for Ruben).

Ruben marries the woman who took Niall's virginity (despite the act being organized by Ruben himself).

Niall marries the man who will always wear the marks of Ruben's violence on his skin. Everytime he looks or touches Alby he is reminded of Ruben.

So they end up living with eachother's echoes, basically.

Woke up with a heavy chest, rethought it, and realized the finale actually did fit the show’s overall misery and desperation themes perfectly and 'fulfilling' was never meant for this. Now, after finally crying my eyes out over the doomed, suffering men and their inevitable end, I am somehow free (and still devastated). I do wish we could spend one more episode with them though.

Richard Gadd and the entire cast created unspeakably compelling characters in a way that feels so intimate that you can feel their breathing against your ear, and they become your friends, your family, and yourself all at once.