borshch powered fuck machine

there is nothing more important than a dear friend you can be a huge fucking asshole hater with

"He tried to run over an ICE agent" or any cop really, is just never ever true. It's always the cop putting themselves in front of a car so they have an excuse to murder someone.

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

- mockup of results from my new search engine called "Google OCD"

one day i will crack my back in a way that will solve all my life problems

they should invent a disproportionate emotional response that goes away when you understand it's disproportionate. they should invent a way to logic yourself out of emotions

sob emoji is up there with the period and the comma

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

management trying to hire and retain employees