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“It’s midnight, where the hell were you?!”

“Stop keeping your phone in silent, you got me worried!”

“Blood? Are you bleeding?”

“I don’t like the idea of you walking down the streets all alone.”

“I thought I would never see you again…”

“We should get you to hospital.”

“Where did all those bruises came from?”

“I have the right to be worried!”

“Have you been drinking? You look terrible.”

“Sleep at my place tonight.”

“I don’t feel safe letting you be alone when you’re in that shape.”

“Please talk to me about it.”

“Let me take care of you.”

“You need to rest now. Don’t move.”

“How many times have I told you to not go there?”

“You could’ve died, you know…”

“I don’t care if you don’t want my help, I’ll do it anyways.”

“You really need to stop drinking. I’m serious.”

“This time you got yourself into a hospital. I think that’s a sign.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“You need to stop doing stupid shit like that or you will get yourself killed.”

“I’m your friend, of course I care!”

“You know I’m always here for you, right?”

“You’re not okay.”

“I’m just trying to help you.”

“Let me clean your wounds…”

Don’t you think it’s better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life? 

I won’t ever leave you, even though you’re always leaving me.

It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always.

I never understood why Clark Kent was so hell bent on keeping Lois Lane in the dark.

I didn’t know you were coming or I’d have cleaned up a little more. My life, I mean, not just the apartment.

You’re the oddest person I’ve ever met, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.

The cure might be worse than the problem.

You can still be cool when you’re dead. In fact, it’s much easier, because you aren’t getting old and fat and losing your hair.

My apartment is basically a couch, an armchair, and about four thousand books.

I do get tired of humans.

We were royally miserable together.

I now have an erection that is probably tall enough to ride some of the scarier rides at Great America without a parent.

Part of me wants to turn him into hamburger and part of me doesn’t want to beat up somebody who’s taped to a tree.