sugarclit

How’s my “pullout game?” You mean the game where you desperately struggle and beg and plead and try your hardest to get me to pull out, and I try to pin you down and cum inside you anyway? I’ve never lost yet. Why, do you want to play?

cats are literally at war with everything ever

no little german boy don’t go into that amateur beatboxing competition!

oh mein gott this room is full of bootzenkatzen

blogging about him isn’t enough. i need to bend him over a table

heyyyy to all the women out there i hope you get to have a pasta dinner soon. to men i hope you are repenting

i love that post thats like “never trust how you feel about your life after 9pm” that shit changed my life. every time i feel bad i look at the clock and i’m like Aha It’s 10:26 PM You Cannot Fucking Fool Me

there is a demon inside me who adds exclamation points to all my emails

need a man who's battling with God

i need to grind him into very small grains and then sprinkle him onto my food as seasoning and eat him

"defend your thesis" why are you attacking my thesis

cats will see a closed door and they will be like HELLO for the love of god HELLO and then you open it and then theyre like oh okay. bye.

I'd rather be funny than pretty...but good thing I'm both, y'all stay safe tho