serj i love you. come to my wedding

my next gimmick will be i am numetal. and also gay. then i will go BALD

can’t eat green vegetables and can’t go outside for fresh air i always knew i wanted to live like a mistreated studio apartment dog

big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free

big chemist will try to sell you £20 paracetamol like beans dont cost like a quid a can and havin a wank costs fock all

everyone has parasites and nobody can afford a house

various tv, film, and theater producers for the last 50 years smacking themselves in the forehead like fuuuuck how can we make it easy to understand why carrie is alienated from her peers and callously bullied at school WITHOUT making her a hideous fatass like in the book

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

idk who needs to hear this but it’s healthier for you to just accept that you’re gonna be kinda fat than it is to live the rest of your life miserably trying to monitor yourself to maintain a skinny weight your body doesn’t want to hold onto