Fatphobia Busters

Fatphobia Busters: Ask Policy

Last Updated in February of 2019.

Dear Current and Future Followers,

Thank you for taking the time to grace our blog with your presence. We appreciate you being here.

Below are all of the guidelines for sending asks to our blog. Please review these guidelines carefully before sending an ask.

We want to make sure everyone’s experience on our blog is as pleasurable as possible, and having people send asks that are upsetting, are repeats of previous questions, or are full of unnecessary/offensive language make people’s experiences on our blog less delightful.

We want to be as useful of a resource to people as possible, but we cannot do that under negative conditions. Both the way you say something and what you specifically say are important, and can make a huge difference in how we perceive your ask or how we answer it, so please be aware of that and follow these guidelines closely.

In short, we have guidelines for your benefit. So please do your best to follow them.

This page will be divided into two parts: a “general rules” part that focuses on the content of your messages, and a more specific formatting part that explains how your asks should be written. Please read both parts very carefully, as both are very important.

If any of the guidelines are unclear to you (for example, if you don’t understand what a specific rule is asking or aren’t sure what would qualify as breaking that rule), or if you need further elaboration on any of the guidelines, please let us know. We are more than happy to help you with this.

If you are interested in sending a submission instead of an ask, please look at our Submissions Policy page. Remember that a lot of what you see on this page applies there too, even if the other guidelines do not specifically say it! For that reason, it would be a good idea to read both guidelines before sending submissions.

Thank you for making an effort to learn our guidelines, for following them, and for being so thoughtful and understanding.

General Rules:

Rule One: If the ask you are planning on sending us is in response to a post, submission, or ask already on our blog, please just reblog the original post/ask or put a reply on that thread instead of sending us a new ask.

In other words, if you are adding something to a conversation already taking place on our blog somewhere, don’t send us an ask; instead, please reblog whatever post it is to which you are contributing, leave a comment on that post, or otherwise engage with that post.

Don’t send us an ask to say, “About that one post,” or “In reply to that last ask.” Just reblog the post/ask to which you are responding.

There’s a few reasons for this rule in particular, and why this rule is so important.

Imagine, for example, that you send us an ask about BMI after we replied to another ask about it, and then someone else sends us another ask about BMI, and then another person does, and another, and another, until we have a good 50 asks in the inbox about BMI. Can you see why we might not want to post that many? Can you see why that might be stressful for us as the people who have to answer that many asks? Or how it might be annoying for our followers to see 50+ posts on the same topic all at once?

Additionally, people not following the entire conversation might miss important key parts of the conversation, and might start leaving unnecessary comments (such comments repeating things already said) or asking questions that were already answered.

This might lead to drama and fights ensuing because people didn’t see the entire conversation, and therefore don’t entirely understand what is being said.

We don’t want a bunch of fights starting that could be avoided by people having all the information available to them before they comment on a post. It’s easier for us to keep the whole conversation, especially the best parts of the conversation, in one or two posts, rather than making 50 on the same topic that are all interrelated and responding to one another.

It also clutters our inbox to get a lot of asks all at once, which might make it harder for us to get to more time sensitive or urgent asks. The more asks we have in the inbox, the more overwhelming it becomes to answer asks, and the more likely it is we will miss something important (like someone asking how to deal with an emergency) or give a poorly thought out answer because we were too tired or were rushing. This would obviously be bad for everyone involved, so we want to avoid this situation if at all possible.

Moreover, if for some reason we are only able to reply to the first 30 asks in a single sitting, the last 20 might not make as much sense when we do finally have time to respond to them because we might not remember the conversation that occured before about BMI and we might already have new conversations started.

If those 20 asks say, “In regards to that last ask,” but the last ask we posted was not related to the BMI conversation, it might be confusing for us, and confusing for our followers. These 20 asks might seem really random and unprompted, despite having actually been relevant at one time.

We as mods can’t always be sure to what post you are referring when you say “In regards to that one post,” so we can’t necessarily reply to you accurately. We might not know from where your comment is coming or what sparked it. That makes it really hard for us to keep the conversation going.

Overall, it’s just a hassle and we don’t appreciate it. So please, don’t keep sending asks when it’s not necessary to do so.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Two: If you are sending us an ask to warn us that someone we reblogged from is a TWERF/TERF, SWERF, aphobe, racist, or otherwise problematic, please be specific about what their offense is.

Don’t just say “Ew, you reblogged (insert username here)” or say “Yikes, I didn’t know (insert username here) was still relevant.” We can’t do anything with that.

You need to be clear about the specific way someone is bigoted or problematic and say it in direct terms. State clearly to us that “(Insert username here) is a TERF/racist/aphobe/[insert other type of bigot here].” We can’t know that someone is, for example, racist, if all you send us is a message that simply says, “Yikes.”

Keep in mind we verify that what you are saying is true. If you send us a false accusation or a lie, we will find out about it. If your intel on this blogger is based on a misunderstanding, we will find out about it.

We are not going to delete posts based on false accusations, half baked rumors, or shaky evidence. We will not block people based on those things, and we will not stop interacting with people based on those things. We are always going to make sure you are telling us the truth before we do anything, because it’s not fair to that blogger to help you or other people spread lies about them.

We aren’t verifying your comment because we don’t trust you or believe you; we are doing it because we do not want to be responsible for wrecking innocent people’s reputations.

We have had false accusations in our inbox before, and we don’t want to have that happen again. As such, we will not be posting accusations against someone without first checking to see if they are true, regardless of how serious the accusation may be.

We will gladly delete posts by anyone who is a bigot regardless if we agree with what they said. That is not a problem for us. We do not support bigotry of any kind, and will not endorse or support people who are problematic or dangerous.

We just need to be sure that you’re not lying or confusing the person you are talking about with someone else, which has happened more than once. We hope you can understand.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Three: If your ask is really long and requires sending three or more asks, send it as a submission instead!

Do not send us more than two asks on the same topic at a time, because that crowds our inbox and makes answering your question too difficult! (See this post for more details.)

We have had people send as many as six or seven asks in a row about the same thing, and it’s extremely frustrating and makes it harder to respond, so please don’t do that!

We can forgive people who meant to send a two-part ask, but realized as they were typing part two that their ask actually requires three parts. That’s understandable.

However, if it’s obvious to you immediately that your ask is going to be really long, please make sure you send a submission instead. It is a lot easier to respond to that way and is easier for our followers to read.

Rule Four: Tell us if you want your ask to remain anonymous, and we shall post it as such. If you forgot to press the “anonymous” button or didn’t log out before sending us something and want us to know that you don’t want it posted with your name attached, just let us know as soon as you possibly can.

Also, please make sure you let us know if you want your ask answered privately. We don’t have to post anything that you don’t want posted!

Rule Five: If your ask is an emergency, time sensitive, or otherwise needs to be answered right away, please tell us that in your ask!

State it very clearly for us so that we don’t miss it; we have had time sensitive asks before that we didn’t get to until it was too late because at first glance, they didn’t seem nearly as serious or time sensitive as they were.

Remember we have busy lives and are often unable to answer asks right away, and sometimes let things go unanswered for months; if your ask absolutely needs to be answered, you have to let us know that right away!

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Six: Do not get mad at us if we don’t answer you right away. It just means we have other things going on in our lives and can’t devote time to sitting at a computer and answering every question people have.

Remember, too, that several of the mods regularly utilize the queue. If it seems like our blog is really active on a given day, and yet no one seems to be answering you, that could mean that we aren’t actually on Tumblr and all of the posts you’re seeing were queued a while ago.

Usually, queued posts will be tagged as such, but XKit doesn’t always do this, and tagging on mobile is more difficult than tagging on the computer, so mobile posts often aren’t tagged. That means you won’t always know just by looking at it if the post was posted just now or if it was queued ages ago.

(Side note: we completely apologize for any untagged posts, or posts that are not tagged well. Please let us know if this is a problem or if we forgot to tag a trigger on a post that you really need us to tag.)

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Seven: We get many, many asks, and sometimes, we can’t keep up with them. There are a lot of reasons why this might be, and we don’t have time to go through every reason. However, we can say that we do have a solution to this problem, one about which you need to be aware.

If the inbox reaches a certain number of asks (usually 100 or more) and we’re having trouble keeping up, we’ll turn the inbox off completely. That means you will not be able to send us asks for a period of time.

Please be patient with us; we will open the inbox for you again soon. We want to get to your asks as timely as possible. but we want to make sure we answer them well. We can’t do that if we are rushing, or are overwhelmed with stress from the number of asks we have received.

(Side note: We might turn off anonymous asks, but not all asks, if we are getting to much hate mail at a particular time. If we get too many asks of a hostile nature, especially if they are anonymous, we will turn anonymous asks off until it seems safe to turn them on again. Do not make us do that; people need anonymous asks in order to talk to us and feel safe and secure while doing so. Don’t take that safety and peace of mind away from others. You shouldn’t want to be responsible for that. )

As much as we appreciate that you like what we do, we’re human. We have our feelings and our own lives. And we want to make sure we give everyone equal time and respected answers while at the same time keeping our well being in check. We want to take care of ourselves too.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Eight: Please don’t ask us anything about topics about which we aren’t experts or have no right or authority answering (topic examples: animals, physics, medical diagnoses).

We can really only answer questions about fatphobia and other forms of oppression as they apply to humans, how fatphobia is present in everyday life, etc., as well as our opinions on political or social events. Most other topics are not ones where we can give an informed opinion.

We are not doctors or veterinarians. We cannot give accurate diagnoses of you or your pets, nor can we give you information on other unrelated topics about which we don’t know.

So if you are going to ask us a question, please make sure it is something that we could actually answer. If any part of you is unsure whether we will be able to answer your question, it might be better to ask someone else.

If we can’t answer your question, we will try to direct you to someone who can, but it might be better just to not ask us something if you’re unsure we will be capable of answering accurately.

Please remember: We’re not therapists, we’re not lawyers, and we’re certainly not doctors. We’re just a group of people that like to help. We can’t know everything, and we don’t claim to know everything. So please try not to assume that we do, or expect that we can answer every single thing you might think to ask. And please remember that, since we don’t know you personally, know your medical history, etc., there is a lot that you know about yourself that we never could.

We are not here to give medical advice, professional mental help, or anything like that. Please do not come to us as if we are able to do that.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Nine: On that note, please don’t come to us demanding we “stop giving medical advice.”

The only “medical advice” we give is that people advocate for themselves, take care of their mental health, make choices that are right for them, educate themselves on the risks of commonly suggested procedures for fat people, recognize that doctors often suggest weight loss to fat patients when weight loss is not necessary, and be aware that medical fatphobia exists.

That’s it.

If you do not think people should be allowed to stand up to doctors who make them feel like they do not have their best interest in heart, if you think that doctors are flawless and never let their bigotry influence their work, if you think that fat people not trying to starve themselves or engage in risky or dangerous behaviors to lose weight is a bad thing, etc., you are on the wrong blog. Period.

We are not the problem; you are.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Ten: Please also remember not to ask us anything unrelated to fatphobia, sizeism, healthism, and the like! We don’t mind occasionally straying from that topic, but overall we are a fatphobia blog, and we want fatphobia to be our focus!

If you want to ask us an unrelated question, either ask us for our personal blogs so we can talk somewhere else, or try to find a different blog to answer your question. Social justice and feminist blogs, for example, are all over Tumblr; you don’t need to go to us for general questions about feminism, political parties, or the like.

This blog is for combatting fatphobia, for disproving fatphobic narratives, for calling attention to institutional fatphobia, for calling out diet culture and beauty culture, and for demolishing systems of oppression related to body size. That is our focus. And that is what we are going to be discussing here.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Eleven: Please remember that if we perceive your ask to be a personal attack, hate mail, or in any way cruel, violent, fatphobic, hateful, or rude, we may respond with anger or simply block you. Please be polite when you ask questions and please forgive us if we misinterpret your tone.

Is it possible we might mistake something you say as hate when it isn’t intended that way? Sure it is. We are only human, and we can only go by our own perceptions because we can’t hear your tone online and we don’t know your intentions if you don’t tell us. We will always be as kind and generous as we can be with people who are kind to us, but we are not perfect and sometimes we make mistakes. We apologize in advance.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Twelve: Regardless if we reply in a manner you find perfectly polite or not, we ask that you be understanding of our perspective and our emotions. Do not police our tone and the way we communicate with others. We have every right to be rude to people who were rude to us first.

We are kind, patient, calm, rational people, but being those things doesn’t mean we don’t get upset when others hurt or dehumanize us. And we are allowed to get upset. We are allowed to be mad. We are allowed to be uncomfortable when people treat us poorly. Even if that wasn’t their intention, even if they were “polite” about it, even if they were not overly hateful and cruel.

Being angry doesn’t make us immature, doesn’t make us pathetic, doesn’t make us childish, and doesn’t make us wrong. So please do not come to us to try to tell us we are wrong to be angry or that our anger reflects poorly on us.

If our anger towards fatphobia and health-based bigotry offends you more than fatphobia and health-based bigotry, we are not the problem. You are.

We will not tolerate being labeled unfairly or being tone policed simply for being mad that someone attacked us in our own inbox. Asks accusing us of being mean to people who sent hate mail will result in a block.

We do not owe people emotional labor, especially when they mistreat us. Be kind to us and we will be kind to you. We do not owe bullies that kindness.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Rule Thirteen: We do not tolerate sealioning, trolling, bigotry, bullying, or other bullshit. Do not expect us to “debate” you or to entertain you. It is not our job to waste our time and emotional labor on people who hate fat people, harass fat people, etc.

We don’t have endless amounts of time to spend on this Earth, and we aren’t going to spend that time on people who come to us in bad faith or who greet us with aggression, hostility, anger, or fake concern.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Finally: Please don’t feel the need to start your asks with an apology! So many of you tell us you feel bad for wasting our time or for bothering us before you send a message. We don’t need you to feel sorry for sending us a message, for taking up our time, etc.

We are more than happy to help you and to answer your questions, and it is a pleasure to do so! We love you all, and you mean so much to us! So don’t feel bad about contacting us, don’t feel guilty, and don’t worry about it!

We are happy to have you on our blog and we want to communicate with and be there for you. So there is no need to be sorry. 💖

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

All of these rules are based on our real experiences with real people. These rules aren’t random or made for no reason. So please respect each and every one. It’s very important to us as it makes our blog much more wonderful for everyone.

Also, please remember: you are allowed to address your asks to a specific moderator if you so choose. Feel free to take advantage of that.

How To Write And Format Asks:

Now that you know the general rules of our ask box, it’s time to discuss how to actually format your ask. To make the lives of everyone involved easier, please try the following procedure before you send an ask.

First: Check to see if there is an answer to your question already posted to our blog. To do this, use the search bar at the top of our blog and type in any phrase, word, or tag relevant to your question.

You can see all of our previously posted asks by searching the “ask” tag (for all asks, even ones we reblogged from others) and “asked and answered” tag (for all asks we specifically answered), go to our “resource” or “reference” tags for scientific or otherwise important information, see all of our links by searching the “link” tag, or you can search a specific keyword related to your question.

For example, if you wanted to know our opinion about the show This is Us, you could type in “This is Us” in the search bar. The results should bring up every post tagged with “This is Us,” as well as posts that mention that phrase. From there, you should be able to figure out how we feel about the show without much hassle.

The search bar method works both on mobile and on the computer, so it shouldn’t be particularly difficult. You should be able to look through our tags at any time, without much trouble.

(Note: we are discussing adding a “Frequent Tags” page that would include any common tags or important tags so that you can more easily find what you are looking for, but this has not been finalized. At any rate, pages are only available on the computer version of Tumblr, so the search bar method is probably easier.)

Second: Check to see if the information you want could be found on one of the pages on our blog. We have both a Frequently Asked Questions page and a Resource page that contains a list of useful links and references.

You can find pages on our blog on the computer, but you will not be able to access these from mobile. So please keep that in mind.

(Note: If these pages are for some reason unavailable, it means we are currently updating them and they will be available again when we are done! So if you cannot find these pages, do not be discouraged; they will become available again eventually. Please check the pages for regular updates, too, because we make changes to our pages whenever necessary.)

Third: Do not use any racist, transphobic, antisemitic, misogynistic, ableist*, or otherwise offensive/oppressive language in your ask. We are very serious about this, and we will remind you every time you violate this rule.

*If you don’t know what words are ableist or not or need alternatives to ableist language, please go here. This is especially important because many of the mods and followers are mentally ill and/or disabled in some way, so we appreciate people who don’t use language that hurts us.

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

Fourth: Make sure your question is as specific and accurate as possible. We can’t answer questions we do not understand.

If your question is not specific, clearly written, and well worded, it makes doing our job a lot harder. Please proofread your ask before you send it and try to keep it clear and concise. Thank you!

Note: this rule also applies to submissions.

For now, that’s all you need to know about sending asks! Let us know if you have any questions, or if anything was confusing for you. We are always happy to help you.

Please make sure you check out our Submissions Policy, Blog Rules, Do Not Interact List, and other important pages before attempting to interact with our blog.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and we hope you have a lovely day!

Sincerely,

The Fatphobia Busters Team

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Last Updated in February, 2019.

Dear Current and Future Followers,

Thank you for taking the time to grace our blog with your presence. We appreciate you being here.

Below are all of the guidelines for sending submissions to our blog. Please review these guidelines carefully before sending us a submission.

We want to make sure everyone’s experience on our blog is as pleasurable as possible, and having people send submissions that are upsetting, are repeats of previous questions, or are full of unnecessary/offensive language make people’s experiences on our blog less delightful.

We want to be as useful of a resource to people as possible, but we cannot do that under negative conditions. Both the way you say something and what you specifically say are important, and can make a huge difference in how we perceive your ask or how we answer it, so please be aware of that and follow these guidelines closely.

In short, we have guidelines for your benefit. So please do your best to follow them.

Most of our guidelines for submissions are exactly the same as the guidelines for our asks, so please review our Ask Policy before you send us a submission as well! This page will only focus on the guidelines that are unique to submissions, but the guidelines in both pages apply at all times. Please keep that in mind when you write your submission.

If any of the guidelines are unclear to you (for example, if you don’t understand what a specific rule is asking or aren’t sure what would qualify as breaking that rule), or if you need further elaboration on any of the guidelines, please let us know. We are more than happy to help you with this.

Thank you for making an effort to learn our guidelines, for following them, and for being so thoughtful and understanding.

Submission Guidelines:

One: If the submission you are sending is in response to a post or ask already on our blog, please do not send us a submission. Reblog the post/ask or comment on the thread instead.

You can see our Ask Policy for more details about this rule, and for an explanation of why this rule is in place.

Two: For text submissions, please keep your submission as organized and as well written as possible so we can understand it. Make sure you use paragraphs, proofread, and explain things in detail, especially if your submission is long.

We cannot respond to you if we do not understand you, so making sure we can easily read what you wrote needs to be your priority. We need to know why you are sending this submission and what your submission is trying to say. Otherwise, we won’t know how to react to it.

Three: Please do not send anything even vaguely close to NSFW if you are under 18, even if you will be 18 soon.

We are so serious about this; this is not okay with us. No exceptions.

Note: This also applies to asks.

Four: Please remember before you submit something that this is not a porn blog and that minors follow us. If you are an adult, do not submit fully nude or sexual photos of any kind, or images with sexual captions.

This blog is not meant for your sexual gratification, and it is not meant for making sexual content or finding sexual partners. Please do not attempt to use the blog that way.

This is especially important given the new Tumblr guidelines. We do not want our blog to get in trouble because of you, and we do not want to put any of our followers in danger. Please consider this before you submit something.

Five: Include your age and gender pronouns in your selfie submissions so that we can compliment you properly. This only applies to pictures of yourself; we don’t need this for other things unless you feel it is relevant or important for us to know it.

Six: Please be respectful of other people’s selfie submissions. No bullying or body shaming, no sexual harassment, no misgendering, etc.

We will block you for this. Do not do it.

Note: This applies to replies, reblogs, and asks. Please don’t send asks mocking other people’s selfie submissions, or reblog them to add mean comments in any way! Make sure you don’t tag your reblogs with anything offensive or inappropriate, either!

Seven: If you are submitting screenshots of something you want us to address, such as a post you want us to debunk, please make sure you don’t leave out any context, and try to provide us with names and sources.

Do not submit someone else’s words or images as if they were your own, do not submit art or written work without credit, etc. We will not tolerate plagiarism of any kind.

On that note, do not take screenshots of posts if you know the person who wrote it would not be okay with that. Please do not violate anyone’s boundaries here.

Also, please try to include image descriptions if you can (we understand if, for longer screenshots or a collection of many screenshots, you find that difficult), and please explain to us why you are submitting this screenshot so that we know how to respond to it. This also goes for any links you submit to us as well. Be specific, please!

Eight: If you are submitting something to let us know someone has been mocking or speaking badly about the blog or its moderators, don’t. We don’t want to hear it. We get enough drama without you bringing more to us; if people do not like us, that is their problem. Please do not make it ours.

Nine: If we are not comfortable with a submission you have sent us, do not want to deal with that submission, do not understand your submission, or do not know how to respond to your submission, it is possible we will either ignore it for a while or delete it. Please remember this as you are writing your submission.

What we are comfortable answering may change on a given day. Some days, we are more willing to argue and to debate than others. Some days, we find it easier to understand the things in our inbox and find it easier to respond to them than others. There are times when we aren’t going to be sure how to deal with things, or where we just don’t feel up to it, and we need you to understand that.

We have gotten submissions before where we honestly had no idea what was being said. We didn’t know if it was pro fat or anti fat. We didn’t know if it was asking a question or making a statement. Etc. And sometimes, those kinds of submissions are easier to deal with than others.

Basically, what I’m asking is that you be considerate when you send submissions. Consider whether or not your submission is necessary. Consider whether or not it might cause us distress or discomfort. Consider whether or not we can understand it.

And be considerate when waiting for us to post it. If we don’t post it, be understanding about that and accept it.

Note: This also applies to asks. Please remember this when sending us asks instead of submissions.

For now, that’s all you need to know about sending submissions. Let us know if you have any questions, or if anything was confusing for you. We are always happy to help you.

Please make sure you check out our Ask Policy, Blog Rules, Do Not Interact List, and other important pages before attempting to interact with our blog.

Remember: the rest of the rules for our submissions are the same as what is in our Ask Policy. You have to read that page too before sending us a submission. Just because we didn’t repeat ourselves a bunch by copying the rules from there that apply here too does not mean that you get a pass on breaking the rules.

It should be pretty obvious which rules apply to both asks and submissions, but feel free to ask us if you are not sure.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and we hope you have a lovely day!

Sincerely,