Foxfang

PART 6 Warrior Cats Infection AU!

Here we are!!! Sorry Sandstorm fans x

PART 5 - WARRIORS INFECTION AU

PART 4 - WARRIORS INFECTION AU

BLOOD WARNING!!

Getting serious now...

PART 3 - WARRIORS INFECTION AU

PART 2 - WARRIORS INFECTION AU

This was really what blew the comic up because everyone kept arguing about their relationship in the comments

Hi

PART 1 - WARRIORS INFECTION AU

WARNING FOR SOME MILDISH GORE

He the who ?

Loki looks way too happy in that photo lmao

more of this creature vvv

He does wake up, eventually.

With time rotting in his bones and a filmsy roll of ductape and just his father’s repair manual. But Mecha Man rises again.

There is no astral pulse. Just a very impressive imitation Chase maybe, possibly, stole for him from SDN’s best scientist.

But the suit falls more. Falls harder.

And it’s common knowledge that when a hero falls in Torrance, Torrance always looks away.

Flambae, in his infinite stupidity, does not.

He stands above that armor, a blue myth of steel and ruin, six feet deep in a crater, in some random arid patch of land just shy of Torrance.

He should just keep walking.

He stomps away, at first. Fists curling with a vengeance he has no right to have, with wrath in his throat and the past laughing behind him.

And he comes back.

Then stomps off again.

Then paces.

Then screams for a whole 5 minutes. At nothing and everything.

—

Flambae makes a stitch extra tight, which Robert snorts at.

They’re clumsily tied, mostly from inexperience than outright vengeance. Robert gets the difference.

Flambae’s hands are dry.

White creases and small branch-like cracks all over tanned skin.

He catches a faint hint of oil, both the mechanic and cooking kind. Pepper and smoked cinnamon and sweet smoke.

When they trace over his pulse, the ugly swell of his fractured femur, the throbbing burn in his lungs, they don’t feel bad. The feel careful.

“So. You’re fighting the same fucking Transformers wannabe motherfuckers like last time, ” he murmured. He could cut the world in two, with a voice like that. “With no back up.”

“Wow. You keep up fast.”

Robert girl dinner:

Robert minding his own business eating a twinkie, which makes the Z-team ask when the last time he ate was.

Which then leads to another conversation about how Robert cannot survive on Twinkies alone and needs to eat real food.

Robert: No, no, no, this is fine. It called ✨girl dinner✨

Z-team: What? How do you even know about that? That's not what that means.

Robert: I saw it on the clock app that Prism showed me. I can eat as many Twinkies as I want as long as I call a ✨girl dinner.✨

(Every time he says it he does little jazz hands.)

Prism: Bitch, it called TikTok and you're not allowed on there by yourself.

Z-team: Proceeds to drag Robert to someone's house for dinner and a movie.

Chad can't lose his temper for a whole week.

That's the challenge placed before him. Cash prize if he makes it, if he doesn't, Z Team gets to dress him up in whatever outfit they want the following week.

He tried to get it lowered to the work week, but the Z Team refused. They'd delegate a spotter for the weekend, either Prism or Malevola, since those two tend to get on his nerves the least (they'd have picked Golem but he's a dirt magnet and Flambae has to have people over on Saturday and if there's a SPECK of mud - well they wanna play as fair as possible). No overt sabotage, nothing worse than a usual taunt or joke, they aren't allowed to mess with his work, his person, or his things.

And because he's not participating in the challenge, Robert will be the referee while at work.

Flambae takes the challenge.

"Can't believe you all would even think of this, I'm obviously so in control of my temper now, you'll all look like fools," he floats.

"Nahhhh I give it till lunch," Sonar snickers.

"Mmmm, sorry Bae, I'm going for Wednesday," Prism says.

"Wh-GIRL COME ON!"

"You yelled at the oak tree outside your house yesterday, VIP."

"It knows what it fucking did!"

"I-I think - can - You've got th-this, Flambae-Chad!"

"Thank you Wetwipeboy."

And then Robert calls start and Flambae locks in.

And he makes it a whole two days without even a scoff! He's totally chill, using alllll his therapy coping mechanisms to tune out the usual subscriber bullshit, and humming pop songs during Z Team's infuriating moments that just barely border on infringing on the rules. He's SO going to win this bet, it was never in question because he is awesome and cool and spectacular-

And then he walks in the breakroom and sees the lunch Robert brought in.

It is. Nothing short of desecration. It's a crime, it's-it's barely food anymore!

"Bobbert," he hears himself say. The dispatcher flinches when he realizes that Flambae is right behind his chair. "What is that?"

".....Chicken alfredo?"

Chad has to take five minutes to collect himself outside the breakroom and he tells himself to leave it alone but oh my GOD HOW DID IT GET THAT COLOR -

"Look, I-raw chicken can kill you so I, you know, just, cooked it till I was sure it wasnt gonna be raw?"

He takes another five. Some poor intern has to walk past him while he's lamaze breathing in a corner. He will not lose his shit he will not lose his shit he will not -

The next time he goes back in Visi is there because of COURSE she was listening in and he's giving her the best smile he can to show that he's fine he's not sweating this is fine -

"You should teach Bob-Bob here how to cook, dude!" Visi says, grinning like a shark smelling blood.

"No...that's...he's obviously doing fine...." Flambae starts.

"I'll throw in another 200 buuuucks~"

And that's how the Z Team ends up on his living room as he tries to help Robert cook in his kitchen, heckling and giggling like theyre watching an episode of Hell's Kitchen. Except at least Gordon Ramsey can yell and curse when people are stupid -

"BOB-bert." Chad barely catches himself AND Robert before he watches his dispatcher reach a hand into a FULLY ON FULLY FUEGO OVEN WITHOUT GLOVES. This is after he'd somehow managed to burn butter when Flambae wasn't looking. "Okay, why don't you just stand over there and let me -"

"Nahhhh c'mon dude he's gotta learn don't cheat~" someone from the peanut gallery reprimands.

This HAS to be veering into sabotage territory, but the only referee is looking at the floor with a twist of bashful shame on his face. Chad sighs.

"Bob-Bob, what DO you know how to cook? Let's start there."

"....I don't know anything, okay," Robert admits quietly. "That's the joke isn't it? Just forget it, I'll just pay you 200 and we can call it."

And Oh. Oh okay. So this isn't just ignorance because Robert couldn't be bothered. He's dealing with someone who never had someone to take the time to help him.

You know the difference between Hells Kitchen Gordon Ramsey and Masterchef Junior Gordon Ramsey? Consider that switch flipped in Flambae immediately. Joke's on the Z Team, his niece went from no cooking skills to making dinner for the family in one night and not once did he raise his voice.

And fuck if the Z Team isn't impressed and a little wrapped up in watching the two work together (Coupé is taking notes for a spicy novel where a Michelin star chef meets an accountant at a community college class setting and falls in love), and when Robert's done making a simple dish that they all can dig into they lose their minds like he just took down a villain in front of them. The rest of the night everyone eats their fill and Robert and Chad talk easy recipes and maybe Robert weasels in another cooking session for sometime next week and Prism totally doesn't take a picture of them smiling into their food like a couple of teenagers.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?