Jackass/CKY Hoe

(warnings: ooc, you have a baby and are called mama. no mention of pregnancy. written in bed)

-

There’s a part of Bakugo that always gets a little bit nervous when you call. A growing fear, one that’s not always the most reasonable, as he’s long since learned to stop guessing what it is he’ll have to answer to.

Usually, his worry is assuaged immediately by the chirp of your sweet voice, more often than not calling to ask about groceries, or the timing of his arrival home, or even just to say, “hey, sweetie. How are you?”

But as of late, with the stress of multiple new realities on his hands, the playing catchup of his returning back to work, it’s been—

“Katsuki,” your voice trembles on the receiver, the fuss of your hands practically audible too, “thank god. I’m so sorry, but—“

You whimper, there’s a wail, and his gut clenches, veins turning cold as ice with adrenaline like any and every other time he prepares, quicker than you know, to catch a villain.

“Fuck, babe?” his voice is raspy with the crack of worry, his eyes flitting about as if the crime is in front of him, the offender just across the line of the dark, moon-lit horizon. “Are you okay? Are you safe—“

You interrupt.

“I just can’t get him to sleep. I-I’ve tried everything,” there’s a hiccup from somewhere close by, the baby on your shoulder most likely, “but he’s not going down. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s clean, he’s changed, he ate almost everything I had—“

“Hey,” he says sternly, dad-like, in a way you’ve almost never heard from him, and you halt. Bakugo looks around the empty streets he’s walking, the evening sky of a warm spring having now receded into chill. “I’ll be there quick, okay?”

And just as soon, he calls Kirishima to let him know he’s deviating from the patrol route.

a/n: this wasn’t a request, i just wanted to write it. uh, enjoy :)

johnny knoxville

doesn’t fully understand at first, but supports you nonetheless

a little confused, but he’s got the spirit, ya know?

you let him ask all the questions he wants

at least he’ll be educated

“wait, hold on, so you were born female?”

“yes.”

“and now you’re a guy?”

“yep.”

“huh. that’s neat. we didn’t even have any gay people back in knoxville, much less trans people.”

is 100% like a protective older brother

“none of the guys have given you shit for it have they?”

“no”

“if they do, tell them to come talk to me”

forgets you don’t have balls all the time

like. all the time.

the amount of times he’s nailed a perfect nutshot on you, just to warrant no reaction

“OH THAT WAS PERFECT- wait.”

“i don’t have balls, johnny, we went over this.”

“dammit”

Quite a few people have asked me what show my gifs were from so here's the video.

Unfortunately there's only this short version and not the full show. But it's still amazing from start to finish.

✧.* “ let’s take jesus off the dashboard ” ☆。*。☆。

☆。*。☆。“ got enough on his mind… ” ✧.*