better with a pen

Come back, I have to tell you the plot of a fic I’ll never write and get you excited about it so we can all be disappointed with me later

"a good soldier to a lady, but what is he to a lord?" the same. he's bisexual. hope this helps

It turns out that the Statue of Liberty is actually a Weeping Angel, it’s just so big that it’s always been visible to someone. Now, with the smoke filling New York, it’s gone unobserved for the first time.

Patrick: You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.

vampires have been drinking human blood for centuries they don’t give a fuck about guys on eight different antidepressants. they were sucking on asbestos factory workers

The absolutely hilarity of imagining some older vampires hectoring younger ones. “Back in my day, I had to drink blood with radium in it and I liked it! We glowed in the damn dark for weeks!”