A Blog of Impossible Things

I am literally both of them at the same time

THIS IS FUCKING TERRIFYING

No thank you.

The columns of smoke in the foreground are telephone poles boiling

Let it Noot

You trip and fall to your death.

Critical fail, you swallow a knife and it explodes.

"As the assassin foolishly tries to slide down the gravelly side of the mountain, he trips and slits his throat on his knife. He’s dead. Anyone else want to do anything stupid?"

"You somehow determine that the golem is made of bacon.”

"The mugger then proceeds to shoot his friend in the foot"

"the opponent sneezes and accidentally stabs himself to death"

"You try to pick the door, but the door picks you. You’ve been impaled."

"You let go of the bow instead of its string, and it hits you in the face before falling at your feet." me: can i just pretend like i totally meant to do that //rolls a nat 20 on a bluff check "Everyone totally saw that but it looked like you completely meant to do that."

"You trip and stumble backwards onto the altar, impaling yourself on your own demonic sword.  Your blood flows outward into the grooves cut into the altar, completing the ritual and summoning an eldritch horror.  Try to roll better when you fight it."

It’s not nice to throw people!