₊⋆☾ Metronome! ☽⋆₊

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

Maybe I'll feel better after I swing my fuckhuge big sword around a bit

May I please have 1 everything

little known fact about me i was actually isekai'd into this world from the video game world. i used to be a peggle orb

watching massive franchises bomb at the box office while Backrooms has made $212 million on a $10 million initial budget has brought me hope for the future of cinema

audiences do NOT want Star Wars slop, audiences want a movie made by a guy who really wanted to make a movie

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play