Tumblr won't let me update my profile picture

I’ve been awake less than half an hour and I’m already dying laughing at this

it really pisses me off how easy it is to get sad and then how long and hard it is to get happy again like what the fuck man thats not fair

<I>what the fuck is buffalo chicken dip</I>

it’s 2028, alexa informs you that a radiation storm is rolling in from the eastern wastes as your food replicator slowly prints a plate of soy protein wings. your wife holoprojects from work to tell you she has another nine hours at the amazon warehouse and she’s gotta go before she burns her unpaid five minute lunch break. the seven friends you’re sharing a studio apartment with are huddled on the floor, each jacked into vr rigs. the superbowl is endless and your heart is a yawning void.

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog. 

I hope you guys are happy. You have no idea about the lengths I went to to find this post and get it on my blog.

Everyone on this post is deactivated, this is like finding a fossil

If the ocean ever disappears DONT GO LOOKING FOR IT… go in the other direction

i know this sounds like a shitpost but isn’t this like, real advice regarding tsunamis

Yes this was about hurricane Irma it is not a shitpost

ocean not lost, ocean is actually winding up to kick you very hard in the nuts.

wow i love this

One of the truest things I’ve ever heard is that people who say they’re “brutally honest” are more interested in the brutality than the honesty.

this is what it’s like having siblings

Accurate

the screech lmfaooo

Naughty children get sent to the W̷̗E҉̪̙N͏̼̣̮̝̰D̮̠͕̺̰̮̝I͔̭̪ͅG͇̟̣̙̬O ̭̰̫̩̩C͡A͔̹͚̥͉̣Ṿ̰E̗̤̲͚̲̜͞S̥̤͈̮͍

i want to have this mans child

omFG OMF O MY HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Next second is “i triED TO PUNCH A CHILD”

Guess what year he was born in pal :’)