HUI

“make friends” who am i doctor franking stein

if someone tells you they play Yakuza for anything other than the stupendous water physics they’re probably lying

it's all fun and games until you take a little too long to swallow your medication and you start tasting it

Seriously? Why would you include it though? It’s extraneous information like ofc its the us

there are 195 countries in the world

But we also always have to include our states, which if you get confused what country “California” is in, that’s kind of on you.

get in loser we’re gonna admire moss and mushrooms in the forest

toxic mothers are wild they'll really be like "I never said that" like ma'am yes you did cause it's been ingrained in my head since I was twelve

"Witches riding non-broom cleaning implements" gag always funny, congratulations to everyone who has ever made some variant of this joke, please keep making it

thinking abt a witch perched on a roomba, spinning through the air...

Being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of my classmates told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when I asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was just a baby and to this day the mental image of NASA launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

who is this… who is this question directed to? People who have some actual dietary reason to avoid fruit? Who looks at a fruit plate and goes “nuh-uh, not unless I have a week and a 20k cash prize on the line.” Is the fruit platter actually the size of a four door sedan?? Has it been poisoned? Who made this??

please stop reblogging this