you've all heard it a billion times.
"communication is the key to a healthy relationship."
and let me tell you. it is. it ABSOLUTELY IS.
yet often, i hear people only talk about communication when they're trying to guilt their partner.
let's talk about what communication is, and what it isn't.
having an ongoing discussion about comfort in terms of intimacy, and understanding that comfort isn't linear. someone who is comfortable with kissing might not be comfortable with holding hands, and that's okay.
understanding and talking about triggers. if you don't have a clear discussion about what makes you anxious and could send you to a bad place, then your safety is more than likely to be violated.
support and be supported. if your partner is opening up to you, take interest in them and don't act fake. listening to your partner and giving actual advice, rather than cliche responses, help you two grow together.
if your s/o is sad, ask if they need to rant, need advice, need to get their mind off it, or need some space. tell your partner how to best support you.
be honest, even if you did something wrong. if you know you messed up, and that they're going to be upset or hurt, be open and tell them. talk about it. if you let it eat you up until they eventually find out later, it will be a lot worse off for your relationship.
if they ask where you are, tell them. if you're hanging with a friend of a gender you're potentially attracted to, it can make your partner feel worried. you have to tell them anyway, and if they ask, explain your friendship with that person. do not lie about who you're with simply so they don't worry or don't ask too many questions.
do not. ever. EVER. ignore your partner. no matter what. if you're going to be busy, let them know, leave a note or a text if you're going out early. if you need to work on something and need a bit of time on your own, explain that to them. if you're mad at them, tell them that you're upset and that you need a bit of space, but you'll talk about it later. do not ever ignore your partner.
guilt trips, at all. even "oh ok"s are guilt trips. "it's fine ig" is a guilt trip. "if you loved/cared you'd..." is guilt tripping (and super manipulative). if your goal is to make your partner feel bad to get something you want, it's guilt tripping and has no place.
leaving if you're mad. storming out, or the classic "texting Goodnight at 7pm", will not solve a thing. anger doesn't solve arguments, communication does. communication is not yelling, screaming, violence, destruction of property, etc. having a civilized discussion about why you're mad is what'll help.
thinking you can cross boundaries because you've crossed them before. whether those boundaries were comfortably crossed by you or a previous partner, you should still communicate and ask if it's okay to do it again. if your partner sends nudes once, do not assume it is something they will do comfortably all the time. consent is enthusiastic and revokable.
making someone feel bad for sharing their feelings. if your partner says that something you do makes them uncomfortable, or they don't want to talk about it, do not make them feel bad. explain your side, and come up with a way to compromise and make both parties 100% comfortable.
PLEASE ADD MORE IF I MISSED ANYTHING
relationships are some of the funnest, most exciting and shaping experiences of our lives. if you're not with someone who you can openly communicate with, then you're going to have a very difficult time shaping a future with them.
kaledo-art
romaincrisis
vaporwave
jacobvanloon
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
