MATTHEW 7:15.

can we……………… watch 2gether

not to be confused with the apostle from 1998 (altho it’s a rly good movie in and of itself)

former and Currently Retired For Torture Reasons protestant minister who had been practicing around the time of the boxer rebellion 

pretends to join a religious cult on a distant welsh island to try and save his sister jennifer and boy howdy does it bite him in the ass

so basically a tl;dr of the actual film but basically thomas arrives to the island which is only rly prospering bc of the continued blood sacrifice going on i.e. all the islanders bloodletting themselves and leaving the jars for the howe brothers (who aren’t rly brothers but yada yada family in God/their god and whatnot) to come collect and eventually feed to the old crone tree(?) demon(???) who’s just hanging out under the island casually enslaved by the patriarchy and eventually she gets to the point where she’s had Enough(tm) and so all the island’s fertile ground and overall prosperity goes down the bloodied shitter pretty immediately after thomas arrives

there’s a whole Thing with one of the brother’s daughters and this kid on the island and it’s really kind of cute until her own father kills her when she’s pregnant and he gets his brain scooped out with the Brain Drill of Doom anyways it is REALLY sad

anyways back to thomas so the new inductees are gathered in michael sheen’s church and he’s already suspicious of a traitor amongst them and ironically enough it’s not JUST thomas, though he intervenes in an assassination attempt and earns michael sheen’s trust so that’s good (it’s not good in any way shape or form all it does it make it possible for thomas to go through the inevitable Fuckening in the back half of this movie but also pretty much the entire movie)

anyways the stuff with the daughter n the kid happens in here too and thomas is pulled onto a torture rack with a bunch of skewers after witnessing michael sheen (i think it’s him idr its frank and i’m 80% sure that’s michael sheen but im 2 lazy to look or rmmbr) n after a very disturbing Moment with the goddess demon tree birch lady he torches her and she explodes in an INCREDIBLY substantial cascade of blood that like blows out half the cliff side and rains down some blood or smthn, ends up killing the one Really evil brother, the second one has a crisis of good faith and ends up leaving with all the people and with thomas’ sister whom he does end up freeing and then michael sheen stays on the island with a supposedly dying thomas until PSYCHE he gets a bunch of roots and vines up and under his skin and basically implies he’s become the goddess tree birch demon lady / the island itself with no real explanation