This and that and bits and things

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend

do you guys remember when we googled something and we would get results that were actually related to the things we searched

have some elven search engine mister frodo

@nii-hieromythic

One of life's great ironies is that almost everyone who makes the active decision to not have kids would probably be way better at raising a child than all the people who just kind of have children because it's what they think everyone is supposed to do

Like genuinely if you're like "I don't want kids because of the financial strain/the commitment/the irritation I would feel/the possibility of traumatizing them/whatever reason" you instantly demonstrate to me that you 1) understand the realities of parenthood and 2) believe that children should be treated with at least a base level of respect and compassion. Meanwhile everyone who's like "I want kids because I don't want to be alone" "I can't wait to dress up my babies" "I won't raise my children to be soft" may as well be talking about Neopets for all the fucks they seem to give about kids

doesn't it piss you off that you have to find something to eat every single day. every one of them. just every day. you gotta eat something

happy He literally loves Dragon fruit saturday

you’ll be fine. you made it out of impossible situations before and you will do it again

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? YOU WILL DO IT AGAIN.

children are annoying but you have to forgive them. like they just got here

They should invent sleep that works

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

Children yern for an enclosed nest and cave like space… also glowing liquid