professionally judgmental

Is anyone else bothered when the ads on your phone (e.g., during a game) are *super* specific to your job or other interests? Like, one particular game’s ads are all about CBE, edtech, ed conferences, etc., and it’s honestly worse than seeing the 38025298th rehash of Candy Crush. That usually what I get - ad nauseum, in fact.

I get how cookies work and all that. I get about tracking searches, website visits, etc. But those were always online, or in actual sites. Not game ads. 

But on the other hand - it’s nice having such easy access to info about upcoming conferences that might be useful for my professional development.

Not that you care...

So I thought my long nightmare had ended, but it was just waiting for me to relax. After months of peace, what should appear but THIS:

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??? What does Gaydorado want with me? What is its purpose? Who created this enigma that haunts my waking hours? And more importantly...

Am I sexy, shy, or shock? 🤔

Why is Sexy sticking his tongue out? Why is Shy wearing bunny ears? Wouldn't a shy person want to draw less attention to themselves? Is Shock a bondage guy, because he's got the right harness, but his suburban blond hair and twink rainbow face paint say otherwise.

But that's not all!

Perhaps now we're getting some more clues. Do you play the game as a virtual hookup? It looks like that ginger twink falls for a handsome daddy bear and brings him back to his place (after which they live happily ever after and spend their honeymoon on a beach?), but who knows?? Not me! Also, where can I meet this daddy bears? 😈😍

Alright, this seems to confirm it. With the tagline Gays Must Have Game and yet another collage, this time of a man in different costumes, I'll assume it's a game to act out dating/hooking up? Or maybe it's a virtual hookup site, like where you hook up with other players?

But wait! There are humanoid animals now? And suddenly our silver daddy from before is part mech? Also, who is the hot ginger doctor? Is it the twink from before, only all grown up? Or maybe the twink is the disproportionately small (relative to the other characters) baseball player? Who the hell knows anymore...

I thought my Gaydorado nightmare was over. (Side note: my phone loves to put GAYDORADO in all caps.) I guess I was wrong. Or maybe this is a new demon to haunt my fabulous halls? No sooner had I relaxed, content in the knowledge that I hadn't seen the GAYDORADO demons in so long, but this appeared:

BEFORE YOU ZIP, NUTT BUTTER(TM) DIP.

Why?

What does it do?

Why is "Nutt" spelled with 2 t's?

What beast are we taming?

Is it smelly nut(t)s?

Itchy nut(t)s?

Salty nut(t)s? [giggle]

Chewy nut(t)s? [giggle but also gag]

Why name your company "Tame the Beast"? Is this unknown beast so ferocious your company must dedicate all its time and resources to defeat it?

If you've got resources to defeat ("tame") beasts, why this one?

I know there's no proof right now, but this is somehow tied to the gaydorado hellions. Hominions? Gaymons? Whatever.