Probably Crazy

On Hormonal Convergence, the day when the stars will align and a new moon will fill the sky, every woman in the world will have their period… At the same time!

Oh! The femininity!

Once the cramps set it, mankind will be doomed.

All the men in the world will die in the face of the girls’ bitching and whining;

for Hell hath no fury like a woman on her period.

Some men will try to fight against the fury of womankind.

Wars will be waged; battles fought.

Some men resort to suicide rather than face the horror of “that time of the month.”

For 4 days this will continue, and in the end, every man on Earth will have met his demise.

Without men to reproduce with, women will eventually die out… or maybe just revert back into fish or some shit.

Either way, humanity will reach its downfall in one fell, bloody, disgusting swoop.

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the fourth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the fifth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the sixth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

six men-a-killing

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the seventh day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

seven men-a-raping

six men-a-killing

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the eighth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

eight infants dying

seven men-a-raping

six men-a-killing

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the ninth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

nine women crying

eight infants dying

seven men-a-raping

six men-a-killing

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

The Apocalypse Lasts Forever, So Let’s Just Sing Again!

ON THE ENDLESS DAYS OF THE APOCALYPSE, THE DEVIL GAVE TO ME

EVERY WOMEN CRYING

EVERY INFANT DYING

EVERY MAN-A-RAPING

EVERY MAN-A-KILLING

EVERY ANTI-CHRIST!!

EVERY EVIL HORSEMAN

EVERY HELLHOUND

EVERY SCARY CLOWN

AND

EV-ERY

SINGLE

DE-CAP-I-TATED….

BAYYYYYY

BEEEEEEEEE.

Parkour

Orifice

Squirt

Fetus

Most of the time, I start laughing whenever these words come up in conversation. I mean c'mon, fetus is a funny word.

Here's a picture of one:

Also (and I hate to generalize, I really do), feminists think that they oppressed and stereotyped more than most other groups.

Which is hilarious.

I should mention that I LOVE stereotypes. Most people respond to that statement with words like racist, sexist, bitch....... etc.

My response is that I don't create the stereotypes, I just think it's funny that they exist. 

After I found out about Feminist Club, I tried to think of as many way to piss of the group if I went to one of their meetings.

Here's what I came up with:

I could walk in, look at all the girls, and say "Why aren't you guys in the kitchen?" Then I would leave.

I could constantly ask the girls to do mundane tasks for me.

I could laugh whenever someone said the word oppressed.

I could ask how many girls in the room are lesbians. After they all raise their hands.... orgy.

Obviously I laughed my ass off about these, cuz people in bad situations are really fuckin funny.

Welp, here's picture of the funniest shit I've seen all day:

Sure condoms work in preventing it all,

But guys always say “Those things are too small.”

“Okay,” said the girls, seeing through all their lies

“Then, put on your pants or meet your demise!”

Scientists wondered how to stop all the fighting,

Cause the world needs safe sex, it’s all too inviting!

A council was held to decide what to do,

But all of the people did not have a clue.

So they asked for ideas from the rest of the planet,

No good words rhyme with planet so here: pomegranate.

The world responded and sent in some submissions,

Like someone applying to fill a position.

The council reviewed all of the thoughts,

and proceed to move on with the rest of this silly plot.

“The pull out method,” suggested one man.

NO! NO! NO!

That’s terrible plan!

“We could keep using condoms,” suggested another,

NO! NO! NO!

We want to feel when we fuck one another!

But one man spoke up, who was feeling quite ill,

He had HIV, but he said, “Make a pill.”

YES! YES! YES!

A pill will do the trick,

One that will let girls safely fuck dicks!

So the council set off to make all the shit,

but their intelligence was poor and severely unfit.

“What will we put in it?” said one.

“Who cares!”

They used some chemicals that were labeled BEWARE!

The council soon realized they would need someone to test,

So they grabbed a hooker, and continued their quest.

They fed her the pill for a full thirty days,

Her breast size grew two sizes that way!

Her hormones went crazy and she bloated a bit,

but when it was done she was ready for it.

A brave man stepped up who was also a rapist,

And then he took her to Vegas.

In other words…

They had sex and and he filled her with cum,

And the hooker was sad when the rapist was done.

After some months, the test came back neg.

Now we can all fuck without fertilizing eggs.