and i chase the sunlight mile after mile

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

i need everyone to get into college football right now i am dying to talk about the texas tech situation. this is the kind of thing that will be referenced for the next 100 years. there will be documentaries and biopics about this.

update on this: texas tech is claiming that every school who has/is considering cancelling all contests is "afraid" that texas tech is better than them. what's funny about this is that sorsby's stats are average. he is not good enough for this kind of protection. many schools who have already cancelled or are considering it have much better quarterbacks than sorsby. also, texas tech's head coach had said that it's actually ok that sorsby bet against his own team because it "its not murder or assault."

the attorney general of texas has threatened to investigate the Big 12 conference if they sanction Texas Tech

America, everyone! *sarcastic applause* *...from me, an American*

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

every now n then i think about how native americans as human beings just dont exist in like 99% of mainstream media. in movies or tv shows or books or video games or you know even in porn like we just arent people. when theres a native character theyre like a wild west indian. like truly to ppl we all died back in the 1900s.

even in things like surveys we are often forgotten about entirely, made out to be so small we’re not important enough/statistically significant enough to bother polling or we’re relegated as literal ‘other’s

Benson Boone was created when mormon scientists combined goldendoodle semen and dirty mountain dew in a vial

Been thinking about how the new Superman movie did a really good job of giving Clark interests beyond “Truth, Justice, and a Better Tomorrow.” He likes pop punk rock. His favorite meal is breakfast for dinner. Clark does a little dance when he gets the front cover byline. He likes to doom-scroll. Unclear if he’s a dog guy. His girlfriend makes him hot cocoa when he’s sad. So often Superman in film has zero personality beyond tortured alien that must guide humanity. Giving him these small details made the character feel so much more real. He really is just a guy doing his best.

Thinking about the whole "there is no platonic explanation for this" thing and how it doesn't account for intense platonic situationships and anyways I think we should start saying "there is no casual explanation for this" bc really what we're talking about is the way the characters in question are Obsessed with each other

@argumate

you verb noun?

You verb noun? You verb noun like the comparison? Oh!! Punishment for title! Punishment for amount of time!!!!

You deconstruct meme? You deconstruct meme into its base parts? Oh!! Explanation for readers! Explanation for one thousand reblogs!!!!

Miette, the gift that keeps on giving.

You gift Miette?

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

we need to team up… to put together the WB4723 48-Inch Workbench With Power Outlets and Lights… it will take all of our power… and though you are my greatest foe, i can’t do it without you !

all books should be written by deeply damaged autistic perverts

@pangur-and-grim ?

YOU DON'T NEED TO TAG ME ON THIS, I WROTE THE POST

"incurious" still GOAT insult. You could be better but you're not. You could learn but you won't, and for no good reason, just a base dispositional apathy. Get fucked

if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking

chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.

why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times

Here I am n 1525 and since opportunities for those two dudes to collect firewood absolutely still exist but aren't that thick on the ground I speculate that those dudes are fucking