Probably autistic

Autistic people get crap for not asking for help “sooner” when we’re found floundering around in frantic, frustrated confusion. 

The irony is when we do break down and ask for help or clarification, we get told “you should know that already”, or that “it’s silly that you don’t understand something so simple” or, my personal non-favorite “I already explained that to you!”

Or we see you roll your eyes, hear you sigh, hear your voice get that annoyed condescending tone and have to listen to you talk to us like we’re the most unintelligent things to grace your presence.

Can you stop doing that shit to us?

Some examples of questions I might ask someone may be:

“When you say smaller, do you mean shorter or narrower or literally smaller in scale with the same proportions?” “Do you want the shade of purple lighter and closer to pink or darker and closer to blue?” “If you say a lot of that, do you want 20 copies or a higher number of copies?”

Luckily I’m mostly around people who know I think in specifics and will be specific for me, but during my teens I had the opposite. It messed me up for asking for help as an adult.

Many autistic people are terrified to ask for help when we really need it because it’s a huge hunk of emotional labor and oftentimes the payoff doesn’t get us the answers we need to do something we’re expected to do.

“I’m struggling with this, help!”

“No it’s easy! Youre capable! You’re just not trying hard enough!” *doesnt help or give advice* *lets person take full consequences of subsequent failure or even punishes them for it*

Results in

a) believes asking for help is not acceptable and will just make other people resent you

b) interprets “you can do it” as an ultimatum, eg. “Failure will not be tolerated!”

Tumblr is in an epidemic. The porn bot apocalypse is here. And it’s really, really, really, really, really annoying. Even more annoying than me saying really five times in a row because let’s face it:

To check more video, clcik here.

Click here to find onenight stands

For more more private stuff, come here.

Looking for fun? Join me here.

Howdy guy, more private stuff here.

Howdy bro, my profile here.

Lately the probability of finding a comment like this in the notes has gone up from 100% to a 10000% and it’s seriously impacting our user experience.

I have been here since 2010, @staff. Started out as wolf blog and in 2012 I used to share my poetry and made eight super good friends to which I am still talking today! But now what?

It’s pretty safe to say that there are a number of bot networks active on this website. The one asking for bitcoin and the aforementioned ‘looking for fun’ one for example. The bots follow a pattern and because it’s a network it should be easy to roll up.

I know we always point at @staff to fix this, but honestly, it’s not an easy fix. I know many people block bots, but do we also report and flag them? How does staff respond to flags?

Anyway, here is what I and 10,000 other people who started following this blog over the last 24 hours propose:

We purge the bots. The porn bots. All of them. This is going to be one big COORDINATED effort to destroy the bots!

For one month we are going to report and flag those blogs, and make sure we cut their profits so they don’t make enough money to support their bot network.

It’s very important that we do this as a community. This is a movement. Everyone has to join so we can limit the outcome of this battle to only two possibilities:

We win this battle

@staff really doesn’t give a shit

While in some ways that is true - compliance training (otherwise known as ABA) is known to have superficial behavioural effects - the fact of the matter is that it is incredibly damaging to teach your child that they cannot respond to pain or sensory overload in the way their body demands. 

Also this makes the unbelievably ignorant assumption that meltdowns are just ‘bad behaviour’ that needs to be trained out of the child in order for them to be socially acceptable to an uninformed public. 

This could not be further from the truth.  We need to be teaching the public, not forcing children to bend to their ignorance! 

My parents were extremely strict. I got away with exactly nothing (they were actually abusive as well, but we won’t go into all that here). Guess what? I still, as an autistic adult, have meltdowns and shutdowns in public when my body and brain can’t take any more stress and stimulation.

This isn’t to say that compliance-training your autistic kids does nothing. On the contrary - what teaching them to worry about other people’s disapproval does is make them more anxious and therefore more susceptible to sensory overload. It’s a horrible Catch-22. 

Just don’t. 

Teach your kids to have good manners, of course - but please don’t train them to suppress their pain and overstimulation for the sake of being inconspicuous. You can’t imagine the damage you are doing. 

Oh, and one more thing: 

Just because you have a sibling/relative/friend whose parents trained them not to melt down in public doesn’t mean 

a) it’s a good idea or 

b) it works for all autistic kids. 

Your second-hand experience does not negate the firsthand knowledge of thousands of autistic people. 

Step off. 

Seriously. He’s done gay, nonbinary, dyslexic, muslim etc. characters to raise awareness and acceptance, why not make an autistic demigod?

It would show so many kids and teens that autism = not a bad or shameful thing. Like he did with ADHD for demigods, even showing it as a positive.

For more than two years, Clarise Coleman faithfully attended every track practice and every cross-country meet for her son, Chase.

A few weeks ago, Chase, who is a nearly nonverbal autistic child, was running in a meet in Rochester, New York, with his team from Corcoran High School - was assaulted by a stranger in the middle of a race.

Coleman was waiting for him at a part of the course where runners would come down a hill but he didn’t appear and she went looking for him. She was shouting his name and then she started to meet people who pointed in the direction of her son. One of them said:

“I see a grown man, who is quite tall and fairly heavy … exit the vehicle and give this young man a shove that puts him back 10 feet and flat on his butt. Like, just shoved him across the road. The kid didn’t seem to be doing anything but standing there, obviously had nothing in his hands and weighed all of 130 pounds. This guy was easily twice that.”

This tall white guy was a 57-year-old man named Martin MacDonald who told the police that the reason he attacked the Black kid was he thought Chase was going to mug his wife and take her purse.

“My son is a minor. [MacDonald is] a grown man,” Coleman said she told police. “He put his hands on my son. Of course I want to press charges.”

However the police was deaf and on Oct. 21, Rochester City Court Judge Caroline Morrison sent a letter to the Colemans that shocked them: 

She had denied their warrant application, and MacDonald would not be charged for second-degree harassment.

Now the autistic Black boy refused to go to practices and skipped running in his last meet of the season. He turned his running uniform in to his coach, who gently encouraged him to change his mind. Chase refused.

“We just keep telling him, ‘You didn’t do anything wrong. Chase is good. There are mean people and there are nice people and this person was just a mean person,’ ” Coleman said. “We just keep apologizing to him that happened. Especially me. I kept apologizing to him that I couldn’t keep him safe.” 

The attack deeply traumatized him and he lost one of the few things that gave him a sense of pride and belonging.

Please, make a shout out to this outrageous accident! The white man still didn’t receive any punishment for ruining life of the Black boy. THIS IS HELL!

I’m disabled. I’m autistic. And, honestly, I’m often afraid to park in some parking spots because I’m not so good with space awareness and a big parking spot could be very helpful for me. But I don’t because I’m still able to park in a smaller parking spot and I definitely don’t need the big space. With a bit of time and focus, I can park in smaller parking spots. I definitely can.

Able-bodied people are so entitled that stealing accommodations seems fair to them. “Well, we don’t see many disabled people around here, so might as well occupy this space”. Until someone really needs the disabled bathroom stall, until someone has to use the disabled parking spot because they don’t have a choice in it. 

The world needs more people that are passionate and enthusiastic about anything and everything, and the people that don’t agree simply aren’t worth your time.

Do what you love and give it your all. Do what makes you happy and ignore everyone that doesn’t care.