I promise the noise this person makes as they fly past me into the abyss is worth turning your sound on for

aaaaand this is why i didn't try to transcribe it

Middle of bumfuck nowhere....... cus Yeah we're really lost... anal sex style 😞

Not to be that person, but if you remember this, how's that newfound back pain going for ya babe

DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING

how your 20s feel when you dont know what ur doing

i’m never gonna stop laughing about this. it debuted on tumblr in 2017 and i think of it OFTEN.

If you say you're going to an event, especially a smaller one, at least tell the host if plans change. Like, no one is forcing you at gunpoint to go to a party, but it's super rude to just ghost your friends and usually significant work has gone into putting together the event.

Do not trust ChatGPT or any other so-called AI ever.

TO THE PATRONS OF THIS THEATER, I APOLOGIZE FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR SCREENING OF INLAND EMPIRE BUT I DO NEED YOUR HELP WITH SOMETHING. THERE IS A MAN IN ROW E SEAT 7 WHO HAS BEEN GOOGLING "INLAND EMPIRE EXPLAINED" ON HIS PHONE WITH FULL BRIGHTNESS ON, DISTURBING OTHER VIEWERS IN HIS VICINITY. HE HAS NO LOVE FOR FILM AND JUDGING BY WHAT HE HAS GOOGLED HE THINKS THAT ALL MOVIES ARE PUZZLES THAT HE HAS TO SOLVE LIKE THIS IS LOST OR SOME SHIT. I UNDERSTAND THIS IS AN UNUSUAL REQUEST, BUT I WANT YOU TO REMOVE THIS MAN FROM THE THEATER AND POSSIBLY KILL HIM. WHEN HE IS GONE, YOUR SCREENING WILL RESUME. YOUR PAL, DAVID LYNCH

happy new year, y’all

ah i see youve noticed me tamping down the soft earth