Resident Vampire Capybara @herbertwest - Tumblr Blog

My short story, His Fingers Dripped Like Wax, was just published in the latest issue of the journal ANMLY!

You can read it for free online here

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daggersoliloquy

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

#arthur conan doyle #queugene tooms

knightofleo

Echidna Stretchies

#animal #queugene tooms

Whatever, it's time for Return of the Couch Crumblies

(aka I'm gonna draw while sitting on the couch getting eraser crumbs everywhere)

#look i'm too tired to sit at my desk but it is WAY too early for bed #textual abominations

herbertwest

I wanna paint, but idk what to paint

I already finished all my Art Fight refs

herbertwest

I figured out what I want to paint, but that involves getting off the couch and ough.

(For context I've been up since 5:45 am, this isn't entirely me being lazy)

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I wanna paint, but idk what to paint

I already finished all my Art Fight refs

#I'm raring to go for Art Fight but I gotta waaiiiittt...but once July 1st arrives WATCH OUT #I decided not to go to the thing tonight because I can barely move. tired.#textual abominations

setulose

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

setulose

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

setulose

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

#mambo no. 5 #queugene tooms

theelectricdreamsofddx

I think instrumence should be free for those who are pure of heart

theelectricdreamsofddx

u should be able to put ur hand down and let the instrument sniff u and if it smells a beautiful quality in ur heart and spirit that's ur instrument now. stray tumpet follow you home.. bwaa

tonguethief

Sniff my hand, sweet bwa bwaa.... You will be safe with me

#instruments #bwaa #queugene tooms

Okay so having a Baja Blast and a London Fog MAY have been exponentially too much caffeine for me

#exhausted but wide awake #I am VERY sensitive to caffeine at the best of times #textual abominations

longislandairpower

#plane #queugene tooms

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I have to go to a work event tonight that is a battle of the bands composed exclusively of local lawyers, and I cannot express how little I want to go to that

#I got up at 5:45 am. I do not have the patience nor the energy for this.#also I have to miss DnD for this #textual abominations

herbertwest

Tomorrow is my twice-yearly trip to see my nephrologist in Baltimore. I have to wake up at 5:45am to get there on time.

Which means I got a Baja Blast to keep me going, because nothing says 5:45am like Mountain Dew

herbertwest

Back from Baltimore and ough sleepy

#it was nice though i saw a friend for breakfast #then sat in traffic for almost an hour and a half which was less nice #i did leave my baja blast in the car though #textual abominations

what-even-is-thiss

Fallout 4 has a serial killer character named Pickman who only kills raiders and makes art out of them and tbh I don’t get why it’s supposed to be some sort of moral dilemma when deciding to spare his life. I am also basically a raider based serial killer. The only difference between me and him is that I don’t make art with the body parts.

Obviously irl I don’t think that killing anyone is a good thing but in the context of this video game, stopping him would just make you a hypocrite.

what-even-is-thiss

He also leaves you a cute little card signed in blood to thank you if you spare him. Very thoughtful of him.

what-even-is-thiss

Aw, thanks dude. I’m gonna keep this in my inventory.

#fallout #queugene tooms

buttastic

feeling like I am perhaps downwind from an argument my brother in law is having with his fiancée about wedding planning

#food #weddings #queugene tooms

permanenteclipse

Fictional country: average fantasy

Fictional small town in the middle of nowhere in real country: par for the course in any genre

Fictional major city in real country: standard fair, but it's usually clearly based on a real city

Fictional suburb of real major city in real country: strange but I can see the application

Real major city in fictional country: Chicago can be anywhere you dream of

#geography #queugene tooms

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sirgavvainet

Based on a Wallace and Gromit screenshot I saw

#bg3 #queugene tooms

justcatposts

Little girl teaching her cats how to draw a flower

(via)

hottiewitabloggie

they’re? just? sitting there ???

ladycavalier

it makes it 100% better that i can’t understand her, i feel like i’m hearing what cats hear

socialistexan

crtter

Heh, she’s speaking Portuguese! Here’s what she’s saying:

*baby voice* “… and if you have any questions, just ask me! And now… yeah. And now you draw the roots. You draw them all twisted up! Got it? A flower? Now draw it. Did you get it, Luis Roberto? Did you get it, Jurandir? Look. Did you get it? That’s how you draw a flower.”

Luis Roberto and Jurandir are people names (Jurandir is especially a name associated with older men) so it’s extra funny that the cats are named that, heh.

#cats #queugene tooms

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