nothing to see here

i know its been very jokey on here re: plurality but i really must stress that this is a fucking terrifying disorder to discover and navigate and i really seriously wish i didn't have it

i remember times growing up that i would be in a social situation and just black out, not be in control of myself and then be completely unable to remember the extent of what i did and why i cant be friends with these people anymore, i have OCD and I can't tell what's an intrusive thought vs. an alter trying to get through to me, i feel like i have several personality disorders hidden among all of us, i'm noticing the amnesia more and more every day and i don't know who i am anymore. ive been hurt, i never truly felt that i had been hurt in my past but now i can feel it all at once and i want to die

i think some of us might fucking hate each other but i dont know who

I find it endlessly fascinating that most humans just want someone who will get up in the middle of the night to close the windows with them when it starts down pouring. We want someone to dry our dishes after we wash them. We just want another person to do mundane activities with. We want to tell someone how the copy machine broke at work and we want to listen to how Debra is causing office drama again. We just want something so simple. We want human connection and honesty and to be bored with someone else instead of bored alone. 

A boy who really knows you, knows your favorite band, your favorite song(s). Knows what to do when you start to get overwhelmed, sees the signs you’re getting to that point, helps you verbalize your feelings when you aren’t capable of it. Being known is truly being loved

it’s all fun and games until i get called a pet name and suddenly i can’t think anymore