I heard you have an interesting He-Man story from a convention. Care to share?
I have two actually, but my guess is the one you're wondering about involves a hotel bus, Anonymous. And if it's not, trust me, this one is more controversial.
About a decade ago, I was in Chicago attending C2E2. The hotel I was staying at was a few miles from the convention center so there were complimentary buses to regularly transport the attendees back and forth. It must have been on a Friday since I left the same time everyone else did once the con was done for the day. Because of that, the buses were packed to full capacity. We are talking everyone was smooshed in tight like sardines.
To be honest, I felt a little bad because I was young and able, yet I was somehow one of the lucky ones who managed to obtain a seat. Granted, if I wanted to stand up and give my seat away, I would have had a difficult time. But still, I felt a little selfish while others had to stand in such a confined space being packed in.
One of those pool souls was a He-Man cosplayer standing directly in front of me. He was about in his early to mid '30s, had a plump dad bod, and went all out on the costume detail. We're talking the steel (plastic) chest plate, boots tied with rope, silly orange bowl cut wig, a plastic replica of the Sword of Power, and last but not least, an authentic loincloth. The only thing I highly suspect he wasn't wearing was a jock strap as was apparent by the quite noticeable tent forming out in front of my face.
Now, I don't want to shame Prince Adam. It was clear the way he kept trying to look to the left and right of me instead of forward that he was visibly embarrassed (although I lost count how many glances he stole.) Here was this busty woman wearing a tight-fitting purple Batgirl logo t-shirt with her face literally three or so inches away from his crotch. The lower parts of our legs brushing against each other. Even though he kept steading himself by grabbing tight to the metal bar above our heads with both hands, the rocking and constant stops of the bus made it impossible for that gap between his erection and my lips to shorten every now and then. And my chest wasn't helping matters with how it jiggled and shaked and bounced as if they were on a rollercoaster. All it would take was for the driver to slam on his brakes just once and I'd get slapped in the face. No joke. It was that close!
Unfortunately, mine was the first stop on the trip so there was no chance of the bus to clear up a little space before I arrived at the hotel. And once it did, I quickly realized just how packed in I was. I didn't even have any room to slide my free hand behind me to hoist myself out of the seat. I tried to lunge a little forward without making any physical contact with He-Man by seeing if my bags of merchandise I was gripping with my left hand would give me leverage, but it was impossible. I needed to exit the vehicle, and I needed to do within the next ten seconds. Plus, I knew it would be too late for people to realize my hand waving was because I'm mute and trying to tell them I need to get off the bus before it took off to the next stop. So, realizing I had only one opinion, I did an incredibly immoral thing.
I held aloft his magic sword and pulled myself up.
When I looked at him, I silently mouthed a sincere apology. It was wrong of me, and I know I took advantage. If the roles were reversed, people would be up in arms I assaulted him - and rightfully so. Fortunately, Prince Adam didn't seem to mind. Sure, he was completely shocked, but a smile was forming on his face not to mention he briefly waved to me from the window when the bus took off down the street. And the way I've come to clear my conscious about the whole incident is that we had a seven-minute bus ride where his boner could have poked my eye out while he occasionally kept stealing glances at my chest, yet I didn't make any deal out of it. So, in that regard, he should be willing to grant me a three second quick tug on his Sword of Power.
So that's my He-Man story. It wasn't my finest moment but... yeah...
Thanks for asking! *Great big squishy 'Now FOUR others share his secret' hugs*
