Fangirl

You shivered, the edging taking effect, clit begging for more. Pressure, faster, and the need for something to be slammed into you to quiet down your busy mind. The hand holding your thigh open creeped up your body till meeting the soft tissue of your breast. 

Your fingertips lightly squeezed, focusing on the slight twinge that only aroused you more. Your non-dominant kneaded at your nipple while the other worked at your clit in fast circles. The emptiness became overpowering, you breathed in and out quietly. 

It was quick, the dip of your fingers moving down to fulfill what you needed. Two fingers plunged in and barely out of your pussy, your body reacted faster than you could think. Your body tightening around your own fingers, as it was a foreign object that it couldn't let go of. 

That could've been the case, you never needed to touch yourself. Killua did, he memorized everything of your body like the back of his hand. It took time, many nervous needy touches that would accidentally overstimulate you. Maybe he did it on purpose, leaving you helpless under him. 

Your pleasure was the top priority, from killua slowly rubbing your puffy clit with two fingers moving in and out of you. You snapped back to reality, your body shivering, head leaning back into your pillow. The tiniest sounds escaped, you weren’t loud by any means. At least when you were alone, Killua would encourage you to make sounds teasing you by making you voice what you wanted. 

The flutter of your eyes closing left you a weak spot. A nice one albeit, you could imagine anything you wanted. Though your mind was clouded with killua’s hand cupping your face cooing at you while his cock tried to dig deeper into you. Slow and deliberate, pulling out before ramming back into your sopping wet cunt. 

You whined, legs closing from the stimulation but it only fed to turn you on more. It just met you were close, so your slicked fingers slid up to rub at your clit once more. Your eyes squeezed shut, letting a sinful whimper escape your mouth as your thighs shook. 

Killua’s steps are quiet, undetectable to the average human. seconds prior he had opened the door without a squeak and studied your form in all its glory. His eyes wide and lips parting with red covering his cheeks. He quietly cleared his throat letting himself enjoy the scenery for a moment longer. 

He balled up his fist in his pocket, “You couldn’t wait?” His trembling voice betrays how turned on he was from it. . But how could he not be bothered? His girlfriend was in front of him with a mess in between her thighs. 

His cock twitching uncomfortably in his pants when your gaze shifted up to him.Your glassy eyes being as distracting as your parted legs. ”Killua..” A whine leaving your mouth was all it took for him to kneel beside you. His gaze not leaving your flushed face while he pulled you closer to the edge of the bed. Your leg thrown gently over his shoulder, his left pushing your knee away to gain the best access he could. 

He blew on your cunt, your body shivered pulling your hand back. The bed sheets being used to their fullest extent, to crumble in your palms when you cum. 

Killua wanted it badly, glancing back up at you to give him something. A green light. A small nod of your head following, his free hand circling your clit then letting his tongue lap your cunt. Kitten licks at first, before he starts to get greedy, trying to unravel you with every move. 

His face covered by you, tongue moving at an ungodly pace, leaving the room to be filled with obscene wet sounds that could only compare to pornography. The hand on your knee tightening with grip before loosening up to allow your thighs to tighten around his head. Killua sucked hard, his fingers working harder to make you lean back into the pillow like the princess you are. 

Killua mumbled throughout, most incoherent to you. “Mmph, stay still…” His hand came to your hips to keep you down when he felt you squirm. “kil–too much..!” He only dug his face deeper into your cunt, your fingers pulling at his fluffy hair. He groaned into you, allowing himself to savor your taste. 

You broke apart under him, cumming all over his face with trembling thighs.

It didn’t deter him, lapping at every drop, the little pull at his hair incapable of moving his stance. Killua’s head lifted from between your thighs, lips plump and red, face covered with a sheer glisten of sweat and you. 

He stood up, dazed with a boner that was painful. Killua’s eyes exploring your vulnerable state, biting the inside of his cheek. He crawled over into the bed, fiddling with his waistband before pulling it down fully. You were staring at him, tired, his dick being at full display did succeed at enticing you.

Killua asked with urgency, he was an impatient boy but he knew it was worth asking. He loves you dearly, and god the feeling of you was worth the anticipation. “Agh. .Killua!” His name left your mouth as a whine with how fast he pushed into you. Your hand flying to his hair, to grasp onto something, anything. 

Your moan was silenced by his sloppy kiss, desperate and quick. He hadn’t kissed you this whole time, he dropped to his knees too fast but he was making up for the missed moment. Killua parted from it, eyes becoming half lidded, trying to focus on anything other than how good your pussy wrapped around him. 

 Killua groaned, nipping at your neck while his cock adjusted to you. It’s hard for him, hard to stay still when your cunt is just sucking him in so nicely. “Fuck. Baby please..I gotta move,” Killua spoke up, pecking your neck staring you down, “Yeah.?” 

You breathed back, “Mhmm. .” He felt painfully hard, taking that out on the soft spongy tissue of yours. Killua made sure he was deep inside you before slowly building pace. Deliberate with the speed he thrusted into you with, his tip barely being inside your pussy before ramming inside of you. Leaving you in shaky moans that he dared you to try and muffle. 

—- 

Killua didn’t get off of you, instead meeting you heart to heart. His head brushing against your shoulder to lay at the crook of your neck. His body rested on top of yours, like when he would get clingy and refuse to move from you. 

His exhales tickled, feeling every nose scrunch against your sensitive neck. Killua didn’t mind, cock buried deep into you, twitching at first, not seeming like he could take being inside you much longer but he was too stubborn to pull out. 

You closed your eyes, breathing shallowly still feeling the effects of his touch. For a moment, it was quiet, intimate. Then Killua murmured, “You did good..” His head lifted, His eyes stared at your profile. He was disheveled from his white hair being pulled out of place to his flushed face. But Killua looked happy, an undeniable look of love written all over his face. “Mhm.?” You hummed back, your eyes feeling heavier by the second. 

“Mhm,” He spoke softly in moments like these. He had started to get the hang of intimacy, what makes it intimacy. Not only the feeling of you–but the personal aspect of it, how private this part of your relationship was. Lust did have power but love made it intimate. 

Killua shifted his head, closing his eyes once he made sure yours were. You were close to falling asleep, you thought killua was too. However, your eyebrows furrowed with a small sigh when you felt his cock harden. The pulsing feeling being too hard to ignore, eyes fluttering back open to be met by his pleading blue ones. 

“Please?” 

When he saw you for the truest version of yourself despite you never losing the charisma; it was the only thing Gon could see. 

Rage, poison, bitterness, everything you saw yourself as. 

Gon never saw you that way, truly he tries his best to help you. 

He’s very expressive with his actions, words, he won’t do something he doesn’t mean. 

Whether it's trying to get you to express how you truly feel, or making sure he’s always there to protect you. 

Gon knows your life mission and he supports you, but he doesn’t want to watch you die trying. 

Scenario

Gon had invited you to explore the forest of whale island and considering you weren’t familiar with the area, he wanted to show you around. He had been in there more than a dozen times despite learning his lesson when a bear had attacked him as a child. That didn’t deter him from going back, now Gon was taking you for a quiet walk. 

He’s quite a talker and much sillier than you but it was comfortable. You’re not quick to act on how you feel at the moment, only doing what you know will be best for the long run. While he was, ‘That's tomorrow's problem, not mine.’ 

Still, it works wonders between the two of you. 

“Hey, You made it!” A voice called, head perked up at the sight of you. Gon rushed over to you, walking back to the edge of the forest but now with you. “Hey Gon! I wouldn’t miss it.” You laughed quietly, his excitement rubbed off on you the more time you spent with him. 

The spiked haired boy continued to walk next to you, talking about the randomest things. From how his day went to whatever popped up in his mind. 

You smiled and let him speak his mind, speaking when there was room for you to pop a question. Gon lit up when you spoke, answering your question and telling you more information than necessary. 

The grass crunched with every step, you assumed this grass had never been stepped on. Gon always found nice spots to take you so you didn’t doubt it was secluded. “You okay?” His head tilted, scanning your figure in the process. Your attention went back to him in a millisecond, the green of the grass quickly shifted into the green on his hair. 

“Yeah, What happened? You’re feeling okay?” You moved the question to him, nothing had happened to you. So something must’ve felt off or happened to him while you weren’t paying attention. Gon hummed with a subtle nod of his head, “I’m okay! I was asking you because well..” He lingered over your shoulder, head especially close to yours. “Because?” You repeated quietly looking over your shoulder at him. 

“You seem angry, I can smell it. It’s coming from you.” His nose grazed your neck, accentuating his point of it being you. 

“It doesn’t smell bad, does it?” Your eyes followed him, only seeing his hairs green ends. Gon stood straight, “No, It has its own scent like a type of nen except instead of feeling it, I smell it.” 

“That’s interesting,” He always did have a freakishly good sense of smell but was it obvious enough for him to pinpoint it to you? 

“Yes, I am angry but not at you.” You spoke up before he could, giving him the answer he already knew. “I noticed it when I met you, I never assumed it was because of me.” Gon smiled at you, scratching the back of his head. 

“Really?” Your eyebrows furrowed and you bit back a deep sigh. Not one of surprise, but instead one of relief. The words expressing your growing anger had never escaped your lips, or been brought up in any other way. Almost like something that should not be spoken of. 

Gon hummed, looking around seeing all the things being beautifully illuminated by the sunset. “Why are you angry?” His eyes still looked forward but his words were directed to you. “I’ve never seen you mad, at least not genuinely.” His tone was soft, though being quite reckless, he tried to think before speaking with you. 

“That’s a long story, we’ll talk about it another time. Is that okay with you?” You smiled. Not about your situation, but Gon was trying and it was clear. “Yeah! Just know I’ll be here. Alright??”

His pinkie extended to yours. 

Killua

Killua isn’t the type to express how frustrated he is, not on purpose at least. However it's visible with the way his eyebrows furrow and his scowl grows. 

You weren’t like that, you seemed so down to earth; at peace with the world. It took him some time watching to realize that wasn’t the case. 

The way you were passive aggressive with yourself when you were ‘alone.’ The slight head shake you gave when people called you kind, thanking them with grace.

It might've been the overpowering aura, that you couldn’t even hide yourself. 

Killua learned what had happened to you, and it was eye opening to say the least. 

He didn't know how to feel because truthfully he wanted his parents and his brothers dead. Alluka was the exception. 

He had seen and lived tragedies, but it was different to know things happened to you. You were the opposite, you didn’t want any of them dead. You would've given up your life if theirs was promised. 

Killua tries to do things with you, take your mind off or make you more at peace for even just a moment. 

Even offering to kill anyone of your choosing, Killua wouldn’t hesitate to contact his family with empty promises to make sure it was done. 

You never said yes, so he’ll stick around you to make sure you don’t get too hurt. 

Killua knows you can handle yourself, but he doesn’t want you to have to be strong all the time. 

Scenario

Killua watched you intently, waiting for you to make one wrong move. You had walked into the large room, and shut the door too aggressively. But that wasn’t why he was watching, not entirely at least.

You hadn’t done anything wrong from the moment he met you. 

Regardless of his attitude, snarkyness, and avoidance, that never discouraged you from talking to him. That stood out to him the most, you were kind regardless of how he acted. That didn’t mean you were just passive of how he acted, you scolded him like a child which he enjoyed deep down. 

Killua straightened up when he heard it, the cracks that came from your clenched hands. “You okay?” He spoke up with his usual tone but it hid the hesitancy he felt.

You looked back to where he sat, “Yes, I am. Are you okay?” You threw the question back at him, scanning his figure in the process. He approached whilst watching you right back. The same way you analyzed him to see what could possibly be off, was how he had been watching you. 

His hands found his pants pockets hiding the finger tapping he was actively doing. Killua wasn’t fond of being an open book to those who wanted to know how he felt.

“I’m fine. You just haven’t seemed okay recently..” He stood in front of you, it wasn’t a big deal in the slightest but carried such a heavy importance. 

“Huh?” You struggled to respond, but Killua tried his best. “Is it a person, a place, a thing?” He swallowed hard enough for you to hear, the way his ears flushed told you it wasn’t intentional. You smiled, shaking your head. “That sounds awfully familiar, a noun?” 

“I guess so,” Killua looked off to the side, “Well..?” His eyes couldn’t stay in a particular place, he was nervous. 

“Its complicated, but the short answer is that it’s a person. I suppose I’m getting less patient by the day, so I may seem angrier.” You spoke with an inimitable certainty, not speaking of it as shameful anger nor someone to be scared of. It was a form of acceptance. 

“A person..?” Killua repeated it the way you said it, not a question or a mere word. It was a statement that he couldn’t quite understand. Someone was making you angry of all people, the kindest girl he had ever met ? 

You nodded, “Something like that at least.” A soft sigh escaped you, closing your eyes momentarily to think. It would be hard to explain all of it to a boy of that background.

Killua still has feelings and emotions like any other, but he wouldn’t understand to the fullest extent considering how desensitized he was. “I can handle it for you-” 

“No, I can’t let you do that.” 

Killua reached deeper into his pocket, fishing out his bug phone. “Then, my dad or grandpa will do it. I’ll tell ‘em that I’ll come back home if they do.” 

You snatched the phone out of his hands, his whine followed immediately . “Let me help you damn it!” 

Kurapika

Kurapika finds comfort in how welcoming you are. The fact you whole heartedly understood his own anger, and didn’t see him differently.

 He feels like a monster at times, like he is undeserving of your kindness. Kurapika didn’t know you saw yourself as an angry girl when he saw you as the exact opposite. 

He’s used to your gentle touches, though he isn’t the most affectionate. He enjoys it. 

Your hands gripping the bottom of your shirt didn't go unnoticed by him. Nor was the more frequent trips to your prayer room.

The heavier footsteps weren't different from to the average person. However it wasn’t normal for you to do.

He was direct when questioning you, not wanting to wrongfully accuse you of anything. Kurapika learned and immediately understood your built up anger that was expressed in such subtle ways.

He saw himself in you, you tried your best to be kind even when your anger rapidly grew. Kurapika likes to ask you about your plans, seeing if they're similar to his. He knows he might die during his but he gets upset when you accept that fate for yourself. 

Not because he wants you to give up on revenge, Kurapika just doesn’t want you to feel as he does. 

His goal is to hunt down every member of the phantom troupe but he couldn’t say it didn’t shift to include helping you too. 

Kurapika felt even more so connected to you, he could relax knowing someone knew almost exactly how he felt. 

He’ll keep an eye on you to make sure you’re safe.

Scenario

Kurapika was getting busier by the day. The hunt for the phantom troupe was to say the least, exhausting. He was overworked, his duty of being the last kurta weighed heavier. Safe to say, he wouldn’t have been able to get up some of these days without you. 

He was grateful to have you by his side, and considered himself lucky to be by yours. 

“Are you doing alright?” You came from behind him with a cup of tea. Your fingertips burned, a red hue started to pick up. “You seem tired,” Your word choices were careful, and so was how you placed down the tea without a clink against the wooden desk. 

Kurapika wore a weary smile, “I’m okay, I’ll go to sleep soon.” His eyes drifted to the tea placed to the side of his papers. “Thank you.” 

He received a hum of acknowledgement, “Do you need help with that?” Your head signaled to the paperwork, some were actual paperwork while others were information on the troupe.

Strategies, plans, possibilities, location, “I may understand more than you know. Let me help you.” You insisted with your hands on his shoulders before you walked off, coming back with another chair. 

“You don’t have to, it can be very mentally taxing. I don’t want you to-” Kurapika was cut off, “But I want to, this isn’t a type of burden. It’s helping you besides you’ve had a massive workload recently.” You spoke up, your hand swept the hair from his face to behind his ear. “Better..” 

You sat with him, hearing him occasionally sip the tea you had made while the two of you worked on papers. You started with a small stack that held information on the scarlet eyes.

The Kurta massacre, no work necessarily had to be done on them but you still read over it. Kurapika had told you all about it when you asked, finally receiving a form of comfort on it. He had stayed kind despite going through so much, that was one thing you aimed towards. All of this just reminded you of how bitter you felt towards it all. 

Maybe he was angry too. 

“You’ve done a lot better than me, you’re one of the kindest people I know.” You broke the silence with a small comment that confused him to a degree. It seemed like a compliment at first, and it was. However, he caught on that there was more to it than that, you were actively comparing yourself to him.

What purpose did that hold?

Kurapika's eyebrows furrowed, “I’ve done better than you?” His attention was fully on you, the papers forgotten for what seemed like the first time today. “You’re still kind despite being given all the reason in the world not to be. When the people most important to me died, I couldn’t help feeling so angry.” Your eyes were still set on the papers in front of you, small black and white pictures with poor quality of the aftermath.

Your words sat long, marinating in the silence that had been built in mere seconds.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You aren’t what you think you are.” He spoke up with certainty filling the air. 

Kurapika won’t pry but he’ll do anything to make sure you get the revenge he yearns for too. 

Chrollo

Chrollo finds you quite charming, the honey practically dripping off of you with every move you make. 

This put aside, he knows how to act and look on command to be ‘likeable’ to an extent. 

He knew about your past, what made you who you were today. 

What brought you to be by his side, to be okay with sitting next to a criminal. 

You were kind, loyal, and so much more that he couldn’t name in one measly day. 

It intrigued him, human behavior and why you still acted this way despite having such a past. 

Chrollo didn’t enjoy seeing you degrade yourself, even mentally where he couldn't hear it. But he always had a way of knowing so he brought it up to you. 

He would expect your honesty and nothing less considering that’s all you’ve shown all this time. 

When you give the answer he expects, he’ll linger more often. 

Chrollo knows you’ll want to deal with this by yourself but he can’t help intervening. 

You’ll just have to forgive him for trying to take care of your problem himself. 

Or if you find out before he takes action, don’t agree, and insist you’re capable, he’ll stand by the sidelines to still be there if needed. 

Scenario

Chrollo had been staying in your vicinity, always a call away despite how busy life got.

Whenever you thought too long he was quick to snap you out of it. Not letting your mind wander for even a second. He didn’t do this with the purpose to bother you, but with the intention to keep your grievance from growing. 

The past you lived was one he felt partially guilty for, he had terrorized many people in such a manner. That wasn’t something he would blink twice about, it just wasn’t acceptable when it happened to you. 

Chrollo had a goal in mind that he planned to keep away from you entirely. Your blessing would not be granted if he asked to torment any one you had a vendetta with. It would be because you didn’t want to burden him with the troubles you were carrying, Chrollo couldn’t help not find it sweet. 

“Why did I find Shalnark searching for information on the murderer?” You had spoken so casually that it sounded like you were asking what he was craving for dinner. Chrollo enjoyed your pleasant voice, but he understood that you were smart enough to know a member wouldn’t do that unless asked to. 

“Love, can I not look for more information to help your hunt?” He smiled, trying to make it seem like he had only done it for your benefit. No ulterior motive in mind, not that he would outright want to tell you about. 

Your hand delicately held the door frame, grounding you to the room. “Is that the case?” You tilted your head with a questioning smile. “You would’ve told me prior if it were.” You didn’t outright accuse him of lying, just calmly stated your beliefs. Chrollo knew he would have to be truthful, it was hard to hide things from you. 

Chrollo stood up, walking over to where you stood. His fingers trailed down your arm until his hand intertwined with yours. “I didn’t want you to stop me. You’ve been getting more self-disciplinary in the most unhealthy way.”  

You didn’t pull away from his grip, instead finding comfort in it. He knew you like the back of his hand even with you being so reserved. Even if all the battles you were dealing with were in your head, he just knew. “Is it bothering you? If it is, I apologize for that..” 

“Yes, just not in the way you’re thinking of.” His thumb slowly grazed over your hand, “I’m worried for you, you’re truly wonderful. A blessing in other words, it’s bothersome to see how much this affects you.” He spoke with purpose, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

You didn’t have much words, only wearing a flustered face. Chrollo succeeded, he enjoyed making you a wee bit nervous. It was always amusing to see you thank him after trying to keep a neutral face when he spoke highly of you. 

“You’re too kind Chrollo..” Your head bow was interrupted when he held your chin. “You are,” Chrollo gave you a quick kiss on your forehead, “I’ll take care of this, please let me.” 

Feitan

Feitan found you to be quite the opposite of him. 

You were patient and kind. A sort of unspoken class he thought he could never reach. 

That didn’t mean he didn’t like you, that wasn’t the case at all. 

If the two of you were alone there would most likely be a comfortable silence, and he was okay with that. 

Your anger was never misdirected but it was always there. Whether at the pit of your stomach or the tip of your tongue, it never left you. 

At times, he would notice. Feitan would see you handle things with grace but more privately sit alone with a blank expression. 

He never wanted to hurt you by asking but he knew something had to be up. There was no way you could be so perfect, with the way you walked and talked. 

It would make him be ever so slightly softer with you. 

Feitan could understand being angry, but he respected you for never making it any one's problem. 

He wouldn’t be so against helping you reach your goal if you ever told him. 

Even he could sense the rather nasty feelings when you sat in silence for too long. 

He’d promise himself to make sure it didn’t take over your life.

Scenario

Feitan wasn’t close to you. Not at first. He was rather blunt when he did speak, not finding the extra effort in things necessary. That system worked for him, until you started coming around more often. Not for him, it was for business or meetings you would have with other members. 

Occasionally he would be among those chairs that were in front of yours. It was like talking to an angel in the simplest terms. Though the two of you wouldn’t converse much, he saw you as the most genuine state of politeness. Feitan was okay with that relationship, not one keen to change. 

It felt effortless, as smooth as silk. Feitan started to be more expectant of your presence than your absence. He didn’t even catch himself in the act of all this until it was too late. 

There you were, he had been in the area and recognized you almost immediately. You were alone, sitting in front of a flowing river. The troupe was there to deal with some business but he had finished his task first. Which meant he was free till the rest finished up with theirs. 

You stared down at the ripples of water, the calm flow filling your ears. It was rather a contrast to how you felt. Angry, so very angry. The feeling wasn’t worn on your face but it was still visible to those who took note of the smaller things. 

Feitan made up for his silence by his attention to detail. 

“The troupe is here too?” You spoke up without hesitation, you knew who was there. He stood behind you, he assumed you heard the crunching of the grass beneath his feet.

“Yes,” He pulled his jacket down from his face so he didn’t sound muffled, “I’m waiting.” Feitan wasn’t one of many words so it definitely seemed like he was trying to talk to you. If he didn’t want to talk, he wouldn't. 

You looked back at him, eyes exploring his face. “You don’t want to sit down?” You spoke low, offering him to sit down next to you out of habit. Feitan stared at the ground complying faster than he would admit he did. 

It was silent for the most part, comfortable at first. The sounds of the water running and splashing against the rocks filled the air. Feitan started to think of it though, the longer the silence went on. You were in a secluded place, alone, and dead silent staring off. 

If something didn’t happen beforehand, it must've been something bigger bothering you. His thoughts made him feel somewhat softer in the moment. Why was he even talking to you?  

Feitan followed where your eyes stared, “Are you okay?” He spoke gruffly in the same volume he always did. 

“I’m okay, how are you?” You looked back over at him, seeing the furrow in his eyebrows. Feitan let out an irritated sigh, not the kind of answer he was looking for but he won’t push you for more. 

He stared back at you with a plain answer. “Fine..” He looked away, this time up at the sky. The silence stayed until he was about to meet up with the troupe again. It took them longer than he expected but he wasn’t mad about the wait. 

“You’re too proper, say how you actually feel next time. I’m asking for a reason..” That was the most you’ve heard from him in a while. He got up abruptly after speaking, you assumed the others must've finished up whatever they had to do. 

A small smile plastered on your face, you listened, “I’ll try, thank you.” It was casual, until it wasn’t. 

Shalnark

Shalnark was the type to watch from the sidelines. With no malicious intent, or anything in mind and just let his eyes follow. 

Though with this he did like to tease and prod to get other reactions from you. That was just how he was, Shalnark knew you were kind but he was just curious. 

He wouldn’t avoid serious conversations, knowing that was how he would get the most from you. 

Still, you had a pleasant look on your face, he was almost completely sure that was permanent on you. 

Shalnark had stalked around, he knew of your past long before you had said it yourself. 

He’s more likely to still see if he can gauge a reaction from you by lighthearted things but doesn’t like it when others do it. 

He’s respectful when it comes down to talking about your anger and where it's directed. 

Shalnark watches you cautiously, not because he doesn’t have faith in you. He just doesn’t know how much you’ll throw away to win. 

Scenario

Shalnark already knew everything he had to know about you from the moment he started to feel his favoritism for you grow. It wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be to say the least. Hours of searching, even physical papers until he finally understood who you were and where you stood. 

You were kind yet he didn’t understand why. There was the possibility you were because you thought it would grant you more success or maybe you were just raised that way. Shalnark believed it to be the latter, you were just like that. 

He had been trying to get under your skin recently. It had been working so far, you showed your displeasurement with his teasing. Still, he didn’t push personal or deep stuff.

Shalnark was trying to make you be anything else other than perfect. Your attitude would be described as such, you were gentle and caring. 

He wouldn’t mind seeing an angrier version of you. In his own way, he wanted to help you put that anger somewhere else instead of pent up.

So, he poked and poked at you until you showed your frustration. Shalnark didn’t mind the occasional laugh though, his reward after getting hit in the back of the head. 

“Is this annoying?” He asked, poking you in the rib unintentionally tickling you. “No, not at all!” You moved away from the touch as fast as possible. A smile spread across your face, “What’s that for?” 

Shalnark ran his hand through his blond hair, “I wanted to try something, but I should try something else.” He got on his  phone, typing up something too fast for you to guess what it could be. After a few moments of silent searching he put it down, now looking back at you with something sinister. 

You raised an eyebrow at him, you could barely even work a phone while he was searching up evil plans to use against you. How cruel. 

“What are you up to now..?” You stared at him cautiously, “Shalnark?” You called out his name and that's when he stood up. 

Shalnark put his hands up in surrender, “Hear me out okay? I have an idea that can take away your stress with a small pin.” He spoke as if he was a salesian selling a car. 

Despite the oddness of it all, he was trying to help.

 “It’s not that easy, I’m not trying to forget my anger.” You denied the solution he wanted so desperately to give you. Yes, he enjoyed trying to make you aggravated, yes he would prefer if it was all how you genuinely felt. 

“M’kay..” 

It might've been Killua just thinking of the past, it was getting late afterall. The two of you were baking at 11pm. An hour before midnight and maybe if you were lucky be done by midnight. It was a funny thought, baking cookies with you because he messed them up the first time. 

It was funny because it wasn’t always like that for him. At midnight he would've been returning home with someone's heart in hand. Whichever person had the biggest bounty over their head would be his victim of the night. 

He was trained to do things that guaranteed success but not happiness. The things that pleased his parents, that made him what they were. Killua was lonely for the most part, he didn't have friends or anyone he could run to. Then he met his friends, an important milestone in his growth. 

You had a different impact, perhaps even more important. Your entrance was gradual, quiet, but gentle. It was strange compared to the things he was used to.

 Killua blinked and suddenly you were his. That’s what led him to be here with you, doing normal things like any other person in the world. And it was what he had been lacking all these years. 

Killua swiped his finger in the batter he had helped you prepare, glancing at you preparing the oven. He was satisfied eating all of it raw, “This is really good, we should eat it like this.” 

You approached, “They taste better baked, only for about ten minutes depending how crunchy you want them.” You placed a clean tray in front of you to roll up little balls of dough. “Grab a piece and ball it up, okay?” Your hands met Killuas, guiding him to get the right amount and apply enough pressure. “Then place them a good distance apart from each other .” His hands followed yours, silently listening to your directions. 

He smiled, “Hey, I did it!” His hand referred to the batter he had placed into the far corner of the tray. You smiled back, “You did, Highfive!” You stuck your hand up for him to take. Killua stared at you for a moment before taking it. Your fingers intertwined, comfortable silence filling the room.

You let go first, “Let’s keep making the cookies.” You turned back to the counter. Killua followed suit, following all the steps you had shown him. Your eyes wandered back to see how he was doing.

The batter was on his shirt, a bit on his wrist, and chocolate chips were thrown around the counter. A bit messy but you could see that his face was filled with genuine excitement. This was all new to him, a simple privilege you had been given was one he had never been offered. Even when you cleaned up, Killua was surprisingly content to pick up the counter. 

You held the cookies, placing them carefully on the coffee table. Killua placed two mugs filled with milk down next to the cookies. “Sit down c’mon I don't have all day!” He sat down a second before you did but it didn't stop him from complaining how long you took.   

“Patience Killua,” You playfully rolled your eyes sitting next to him anyways. “I’ll put on a movie I don’t think you've seen.” You reached over to get the remote, pressing until you got to the paused movie screen. 

“These are good,” Killua said, mouth full of cookies, his hand already reaching for another. You took two, just in case he ate them all before you got to it. 

The movie was on, lights were off, only the screen illuminating the room. You drank out of your mug, it was quite plain. A simple color you thought was pretty when you were out shopping. Your eyes looked over at his mug, the same thing as yours. “Killua?” 

He hummed, his eyes moving between you and the movie. “You want to make our own mugs at a pottery class or something like that?” You leaned back against the couch, now he was looking at you. 

“I’ve never been to one of those..Yeah that sounds fun.” Killua looked at the mugs that caught your attention. “Maybe when we make them, we can make cookies too!” He whispered not trying to be louder than the movie. You laughed, “Yeah we can. I’ll sign us up for it.” 

You fell asleep before the movie finished. Killua stayed awake watching through the whole movie. It was good, He didn’t expect any less considering you liked it.

Once the credits rolled he shut the tv off. It was dark and quiet other than your soft breathing. Killua turned his head to try to get a look at you. It wasn’t a sight Killua would've seen years prior, he hadn’t earned it yet. That’s what he believed anyways.

“I’m tired too..” Killua murmured, snaking over to where you laid. He managed to slip through your arms, making you embrace him. His eyes felt heavy, his thoughts flowed at a slower pace, and he felt warm despite the lack of blanket. 

“I was wrong, I suppose.” You were learning, learning to be different than what was installed into you. He was much like you, yet still his own person. 

“Really wrong, but I’m glad you can at least admit it.” He snickered, “Don’t push it Killua.” You sat back down and like before, he followed. “Although, I was right about heaven's arena. I could make it quite far.” 

Killua raised an eyebrow at you questioning the mention of it. Then he thought about it for a moment, you were quite skilled. Maybe even more than he was, “You should do it, the whole thing pays a lot.” He zoned out before bringing his attention back to you. “I won't be able to go since I already went twice, but I’ll watch you fight for sure!” 

You tapped your fingers on the table, thinking over the process. You could try to pay off the people who run the matches, that would be easier than waiting for days to get to your next match. Fighting other people wasn’t the issue, it had never been. The problem was the fact you had to wait, that word wasn’t in your vocabulary. 

A deep sigh escaped you, the only right thing to do was play by the rules. For now. It would make sure that everything turned out in your favor, it would be humiliating to be eliminated due to bribery. “That’ll take months, you don’t have other things to do?”

Killua shook his head, a smile still evident on his face. “Nope, I’m basically on my own for now. I’m not going to go back to my family. What about you? What's up with that?” 

You responded too quickly. “There’s nothing I can gain from going back, so I won’t.” The topic slipped from your mind as fast as it came in. “I’ll sign up for it, don’t let me down.” You lifted your gaze to meet his, more playful than yours. 

He had been free longer than you had, but in a way neither of you were completely free from the past that tied you down. His family was after him and you had so much to live up to, both of you were the future of your respective families. Killua learned a lot more than you, in the self expression category. 

“I won’t, I promise.” Killua extended his pinkie to you, and without thinking twice you took it. It was small. It could’ve been seen as insignificant in other peoples eyes. A simple promise,

show up.

You felt like the only person you could depend on, was yourself. Never ask anything of anyone, it was disappointing when they couldn't fulfill it.

No, what you were asking wasn’t major, but it was progress. He had given you his word to follow through. Killua would come, just like promised. 

It takes time and patience.

The first floors were easy, little physical combat necessary to get them down. It was boring to you, entertaining to normal people in the audience who hadn’t seen more than mediocre fights.

The girl in front of them was capable of more than they thought. Killua occupied a seat each time, even betting on you to get money from other people in the crowd. He didn’t doubt you, not once. 

It took a couple of weeks to make it to the high floors. You never underestimated anyone, quickly figuring out any strengths or weaknesses you could play into. The use of lightning or fire wasn’t necessary up to this point. Your opponents started to thin out to only being men long ago. Which meant every match was more than just winning, it was proving a point. 

You didn’t care about the people betting, you wouldn’t get any of that money anyways. Not like it mattered to you.. However, it was the whispers you would hear about being a girl. ‘She's sure to give out soon, these guys are a different level.”

You hadn’t shown more than an ounce of weakness or hesitance in any of the previous fights. So why did they continue to doubt what you were capable of? 

It made you want to pull out your hair if you were honest. Picking a fight with a person not capable of fighting back was wrong. You would be lying if you didn’t consider it at least once though. Instead, you were polite when passing by like you didn’t hear whatever they could've said. 

"Good afternoon, excuse me.” You spoke up, interrupting the men from their conversation. They listened like dogs, parting in the middle for you to walk through. A snappy remark sat on the tip of your tongue but you bit it back.

You looked up further into the hallways, tvs plastered with different fights going on. There was no familiar white haired boy in the visible crowd.

It was a bit surprising, you thought he would be betting on other interesting fights you've heard of. Killua, from what you knew, was only watching yours. 

Huh.

You weren’t paying much attention so maybe that was why someone was able to get you down to the ground. “Get off of me!-” It was so quiet. You would’ve known, regardless of how much attention you weren’t paying. You got the person under you when you flipped over. “Augh-You didn’t need to do all that…I don’t even know what I expected.” Oh. Killua looked dazed, holding the top of his head. 

“What were you even doing..?” You quieted down, changing your approach. “I’m sorry, did that hurt?” Despite his pain, he shaked it off.

You met him a while ago, you were angrier, less patient, when you didn’t apologize for things you didn’t deem your problem. Killua would have to keep that in mind, it was strange in the best way possible. A change he didn’t catch before.

“No, It felt great!” He laughed at his own sarcasm while you blankly stared at him. “I was just trying to surprise you, Something like that.” 

Killua stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets. “How sweet,” You said with a small smile evident on your face. You were being sarcastic but it didn’t come with the shark tone it usually did.

You didn’t realize how close his face was to yours until you finally focused back on what was happening. He noticed before you did. You knew he did from how quiet he was being yet he didn’t move. 

So you did it for him, you stepped away to continue walking down the hall. “Are you coming?” You bit your lip before turning back to ask. “Yeah, I am. Your match is in an hour right? I heard them announce it earlier.” You simply nodded, “I heard about him, he might be the challenge I was looking for. That might be expecting too much, I won’t know until I see him.” 

Killua walked alongside you, “By this point, All of them were nen users. I went against different people, I don’t recognize any of these guys.”

He felt around his pocket, feeling something familiar. “No way-I thought I ate them all!” He pulled an interesting looking robot from his pocket. You just raised an eyebrow at his excitement but you didn't question it. 

“Here,” Killua held out half of the chocolate, “Take it.” Your eyebrows furrowed staring at the thing then you relaxed your face. “Okay, Thank you?” You took the chocolate with two fingers acting like it was contagious. It was going to melt if you held it for long so you popped it into your mouth. 

He was quite generous when it came to food. Though he usually wasn’t when you saw him with his other friends. Strange. You probably caught him on a good day. 

The time approached for your match, so you soon parted ways with Killua. You made your way to where you would wait for it to start. Killua found his own seat in the front. He waited for other people to fill the seats closest to him. He was ready to rage bait them to betting, his money was all on you. 

You heard an announcer, looking over to see an orange haired girl with a headphone set. The walk to the center was the most important part of the fight. It was when you could examine your opponent, see any physical advantages or disadvantages, the way they walk, talk, look around, anything. 

He seemed like a confident man, cocky, you've heard of a match of his. However you weren’t sure of his abilities considering many non-nen users use words like,

‘Boom!’ ‘Crash!’ ‘Wham!’

You’ve perfected your nen by the age many of your opponents discovered it. You were known to be a prodigy, you were simply born one. There was no need to be worried, just observant.

It took Killua a while to understand you. Truthfully it took him a while to feel like he could trust you. But the more he found himself, what he was or what he even wanted to do with himself. The more he saw himself in you, that similar attitude you learned to have out of necessity. 

Your fighting style was more sporadic than his, he was interested to see how it would turn out. Killua had seen it before, he knew that you knew what you were doing but it was difficult for other people to predict your next move.

The man slyly smiled at you so you gave a mock smile. He had different materials in his outfit, specifically glass and metal. It was an unusual thing to wear even when putting other things you've seen people wear into account. You took a firm stand on the white tiled floor. 

He didn’t waste any time showing you what he could do. The very tile you stood on started to lift in the air. Seriously? 

Killua sat back in his seat, his eyes rolled. ‘Why do the tiles always get lifted? She wouldn’t have to do that to win so it makes sense he did.’ A quick passing thought before his mind went silent to watch despite the people around him reacting to every minuscule movement.  

If you jumped down, he might slam it after you. If you didn’t, he would throw it towards the sky. So you jumped once you considered it fit into your plans. His nen type was manipulator, he showed that clearly.

He threw the tile in your direction when you were in mid-air which was something you already knew how to avoid. It led you to get closer to him, he reacted badly to the proximity.

The man decided to show you why he had the materials all over him. Broken glass, sharp pieces of metal.

The pieces were aimed at you, following as you swiftly moved away from them. He controlled what directions they went, when they went, and how fast. But he was impatient. That ruined the potential he could’ve had.

For the first time in any of your matches, you would use your nen. You were going to leave him defenceless and then make him beg to quit. A simple win. 

Your hands felt warm, they always did right before you used fire. The fire looked explosive from how fast it came around you. Even the crowd felt it, the heat waves attacking them despite the distance.

You could hear the woos from the crowd then you heard an excited laugh from behind you. It sounded familiar but you were probably imagining it. You shook it off.

The objects that were once used as a weapon melted to the blue flame. The wall of fire was put out just as quick as you put it up. It was his turn now. He had extra things up his sleeve and a smart mouth. “What a move! but anyone can control fire.” 

‘Am I hearing things?’ 

You saw his lips moving but it wasn’t covering everything you were hearing. Was he in your head? Your face twitched, did he think you would listen? 

You decided to stop wasting your time entertaining the fight. It seemed like he had the same idea. He tried to tire you out, throwing tiles left and right as he moved along with them. You would be weaker, your nen would be easier to predict and control. 

He wanted to play around with you, you’d make it fun. His last resort was tripping you, hoping to get you when you were down. You barely slipped, he tried to attack. Some may have not even noticed that you could’ve fell.

Lightning, or rather said a type of electricity. You didn’t struggle or think twice before striking him down with it. There was no time for him to escape being struck by lightning mere inches away from anything vital.

It was a show, the screams he let out silenced the crowd. Not from it being comedic or intriguing. It was from seeing someone be left with no choice to opt out of the fight even though it seemed he desperately wanted to now. 

The girl in front of them wasn’t inexperienced in the slightest. You were a nen prodigy, you knew what you could do and you were good at what you did. It all tied together. You stopped before his screams did. You left him alive just so you wouldn't be disqualified. 

The people who lost or won bets were the first to make noise from the stands. Killua wasn’t among them, he stared at you quietly. He just made a shit ton of money from your match. Some part of him was celebrating that but you didn’t seem to be happy at all. 

You weren’t one to be ashamed of your abilities, so why? 

The second group to cheer were the ones that waited for the medic to make sure the guy was alive. You had won, fair and following the rules. Your exit was quiet but one thing still rang in your mind. 

You sat in a random hall not too far from where your previous match took place. The people scrambled from your match to the next big match going on. “You did good, It surprised me a lot y’know.” Killua stood in front of you, his shoes grazing yours. 

You stood up from your spot, straightening out your clothes. He felt like what he said wasn't enough considering you didn't respond. Killua knew you weren't being rude, it had to be something else. “You’re practically perfect besides being human and all. You've mastered how to control your nen, strategies, even the way you just do things-” 

“It wasn’t good enough.” Your eyes seemed to thank him for his kind words but you felt differently. “I practically slipped, that never happens. It never used to happen.” You were trained much more when you were younger compared to now. The slip up was only something you would critique since it was so small compared to everything else that happened.

Killua stared then shook his head. “No one is more bothered than you are. All they saw was you electrocuted the guy and did one hell of a job.” He smiled from the flashbacks he got when he did something similar. Good times. 

“You might be right..” His point did stand, a slip doesn't matter if you ended up winning. However, you would still end up training to get rid of that mistake completely. 

He saw you were occupied with your performance so he gave you an option. One he had taken twice already. “Why don’t you just quit now? You know now that you could make it to the 200th floor if you wanted to. That's why you were doing it right?” 

“Well, it was. The more recent floors were to prove a point.” Killua thought about it with a growing smirk. “All the guys you were proving your point to lost…” He pondered scratching his head. “A pretty penny that's in my wallet now.” Killua patted his pants pocket earning an eyeroll from you. 

“I’ll go explore places then, I don’t have a reason to stay if I proved my point already.” Your eyes wandered slowly around the place, memorizing it before you left it forever. It was nothing special but certainly an interesting experience. “I’ll come with you if you don’t mind. It’ll be fun to see the world.” 

You exited heaven's arena while killua walked alongside you like he always has. “You’re like my first girl-friend ever.” Your ears perked to that, eyes darting to see his face. Did he know what he just said? It came out quite bad as you held back your laugh. 

Killua just sighed loudly after realizing his mistake, turning away not to make eye contact with you. If you took a peek at his ears, they would be red at the tips.

It wasn't a big deal to him, not that it was insignificant but it wasn't something that changed how he felt about you. Gon asked many questions that ultimately ended with him poking at your hair and softly tugging at the strands.

Anytime after that he wouldn't exactly tell you what to do with your hair but would pout for a moment when he saw it wasn't naturally done. Gon would loudly state that he really liked your curly hair randomly to try to convince you to wear it like that more often.

Scenario

Gon would notice after spending a week away from you, it was a mere coincidence that he found out. He had gone back to whale island to visit his aunt Mito. He had told you he would be gone for a week give or take and he promised he would take you out after he came back. 

You went on with your week as normal, sitting in welcomed silence. Gon wasn't on his phone much considering he enjoyed the outdoors more but he would call you on the beetle before bed. You didn’t mind much knowing the nature of your boyfriend. You didn’t think of how unannounced he was though. 

Your hair was washed a few hours prior, you kept it as is due to it being unnecessary to apply any heat on it. You weren’t going anywhere other than staying in the comfort of your own home.

Besides, Gon was coming tomorrow which would give you time to style it. He hadn’t seen your natural hair before, due to your preference of keeping him in the dark about it. You had met him while your hair was straightened out and it stayed that way since. 

Two weeks ago you had ordered something online, a shirt you found perfect. You tracked the order like crazy, and you decided to check like you have for the past days. To your surprise it said it was delivered a few minutes ago. You got up, practically skipping to your front door to get the package from your door step. 

The door flung open in the process, your eyes flicked down. At first they moved to the package on the floor. Then they went up to the boy picking it up off the floor. “Gon?” You breathed out in confusion of him being a day earlier than expected and him being at your doorstep. A feeling of dread filled you realizing how you looked currently. It wasn’t technically a bad thing but he had never seen you like this before. 

Gon was level with you by the time you thought of shutting the door. “Yeah, Hey!” He didn’t notice at first, too busy looking at your face. Then he took a good look at you, eyebrows furrowing.

After processing it for a moment he smiled, sliding into your home placing the package down on a side table. “Mmmm.. Did you do something different to your hair?” Gon asked not yet touching your hair but moving curiously around you. 

“Different to you but I just didn’t do it. It's natural today.” Your eyes followed Gon moving around you, almost getting dizzy. He’s really fast. “Ah Natural..Your natural hair. You’ve never shown it to me before!” His focus shifted off your hair to you. 

Gon hugged you first before kissing your cheek. “Let’s go out, I told you we would when I came back.” You stared at him before nodding, he closed the front door waiting patiently on the couch for you afterwards. 

He wasn’t so patient afterall because he only let you change before ushering you out the door. His hand pressed firmly against your back forcing you to walk, “Gon, hey hey hold on!..my hair-” You only got a sneaky smile from him, “I think It looks good…We have to go already, No time!” 

You caught him a few times lingering behind you coiling up your hair with his fingers that day.

Killua

Killua has his own strengths, almost all are physical. The few that weren’t physical, he had been learning over time with you and his friends. He was observant of you in his own way but he wasn't the best with signs. 

He had noticed how attentive you were with your hair when the two of you were out. Killua often interpreted things wrong so he never asked you why you cared so much. He just assumed that you were much more careful with your hair compared to other people. It never crossed his mind that your hair could have been curly. 

When he saw you, it was like seeing you for the first time again. Killua picked up on the change immediately, staring at you with wide eyes. He was shocked he hadn't figured it out on his own sooner.  He was a bit frustrated with himself because it had been right in front of him for so long. 

After he got over himself, he calmed into his normal expression. Killua did enjoy seeing your hair more than he would like to admit because it was your most natural state. 

Killua would ruffle your hair when you start wearing it curly around him to hear you scold him. He hides your hair tools away from you when he doesn’t want you to use them. Expect him to use some of the tricks he had learned during childhood and sulk if they somehow don't work. 

Scenario

The day had been full of you and the four spending time together. Gon walked in front of everyone while Leorio and Kurapika walked behind him to make sure he didn’t wander.

You and Killua behind the group with your hands intertwined. He had grown out of being embarrassed of public affection and instead embraced it with pink cheeks. It was 7pm, the five of you were headed to the lake considering the nice weather. You had been to that lake before, it was crystal clear surrounded by tall trees.

However the only other time you had gone with Killua was when you were sick. That was in December when the lake was frozen over so he shared a blanket with you instead. This time the lake had fresh running water that you could relax yourself in. 

By the time you had gotten there, Gon was already taking off his shirt running into the water. Kurapika told him to slow down while Leorio yelled about something else. “Gon, you had to throw your shirt in my face?” Leorio's face twitched before he threw the shirt to the side begrudgingly.   

You found a log to sit on, Killua followed, placing your bag he had been holding next to you. You could tell he was impatient to get into the water but he was acting suspiciously clingy. “You are getting in right?” The boy tilted his head at you, standing in front of where you sat. “Maybe, check the temperature for me please?” You barely finished your sentence when he ran to dip his fingers in before jogging back with a wide smile. 

Killua nodded, “It’s good, fresh.” It was hard to hide your smile when he looked so happy. You took off the clothes you had as a cover before reaching into your bag. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that…I burn really bad.” He said while you applied sunscreen on his face and body. 

He went in the water before you did, splashing around with Gon. All you heard was laughs and Leorio parenting them at times. Then you would hear your boyfriend calling him old, what a great day. 

It took a moment of you not paying attention to them for Killua to sneak up behind you. “Gotcha!” He snickered while throwing you over his shoulder. “Put me down, I swear you won’t live another day-” Killua didn’t listen to a single word that came out of your mouth. He threw himself in the water along with you in his arms. 

He brought the two of you up to the surface as quickly as he brought you in. “Whoops?” He hugged you to try to make you forgive him but you pulled his hair as revenge. “I hate you.” He whined letting go of you to run away from your grasp. “Geez-I’m sorry! Not sorry…” 

Killua swam off to let you cool down from attacking him. You stayed where he left you, wiping the water off your eyes. You almost forgot that you had done your hair and Killua wet it all. The pieces were still semi straight considering you barely got thrown in but it was a matter of time before it returned to its natural state. 

Could anything be done about it? No, you were in the middle of a lake far from your home. So instead you sulked silently sinking down into the water. So much effort into your hair to be ruined in a few hours. 

When you didn’t come to bother or chase him he came back to check up on you. Killua was cautiously coming up to you, not ready to face any wrath you may have. “Are you okay-What happened to you?” He spoke as soon as he saw you before staring blankly at you. Killua pulled you up out of the water to see your hair in all its glory. “That’s yours?” He nodded slowly to himself answering his own question while he stared. 

You almost thought he didn’t like it from the way he was burning holes into you. He picked up on that going back to his normal expression smiling at you instead. His eye twitched when he looked away from you, irritated how he didn't figure it out sooner. “It’s mine, yes.” You spoke slowly watching him look away before looking back. 

“Looks nice, you should wear it like that more.” Killua scratched his neck, looking away sheepishly. 

You couldn’t count the amount of times you had to yell at him to take your straightener out his hiding spot.

Kurapika

Kurapika is a busy man but he knows practically everything about you. Your habits, likes, dislikes, preferences, so it was from pure coincidences that he didn’t know you had curly hair. He definitely had a hunch considering he had helped pick up heat protectant from the store for you a few times. 

The hunch wasn’t exactly the most accurate either since he assumed it was a bit wavy at most. There were times your hair had small dents from the hairclip or tie you had in that he thought was your natural hair. Kurapika was on the right track but walking backwards. 

He didn’t react initially when he saw it. Your hair wasn’t something he would be turned upside down by. However at the moment he did seem even more soft spoken.  A few hours later Kurapika would linger around you but he's so delicate that you’re a baby deer that'll run at any chance. 

When he finally speaks up about it, he compliments you on it. He doesn’t tell you what to do with your hair even though he likes it curly. Kurapika likes you to be happy with your appearance but he will push you to use curly hair products instead of reaching for a straightener. 

He’ll give you a small nod with a smile if you accept his silent offer. 

Scenario

Kurapika had invited you over to his house after spending the whole day out together. The two of you were too tired, him to take you home and you to go home. He would've still taken you if you asked but the way you held his hand while he drove told him that it would be nice to have a sleepover. 

Recently it had been hard for him to get a night of rest and you were like melatonin to him. The passenger door opened a few moments after he exited the car. “After you.” He spoke up with a slight smile holding a hand out for you to take. “Thank you.” You took his hand, walking at his side after he closed your door. 

Kurapika led you to his front door, walking in after you made it in fully. His house was decorated with photos of you and some with the two of you. And what wasn’t a picture, was a trinket that reminded him of you in their own ways. 

You felt exhausted by the day but not clean enough to lay down on his bed. His home was like yours so you could really do anything you pleased. Many of your own items had found their way out of your home to his home. “Kurapika, do you mind if I take a quick shower?” He looked at you before shaking his head, “No, not at all. Go for it, I’ll be in the room alright?” 

Kurapika placed a hand on your shoulder, pecking your forehead before walking to his room. You went to the restroom, many of your items in the drawers and some of your towels awaiting you. 

It took you thirty minutes to decompress in the water and then to actually clean yourself. The warmth of the water allowed you to relax before you came back to Kurapika. “I have some clothes for you… They’ll be outside the door!” A voice said somewhat loudly to be audible against the water.

After you dried up, you creaked the door open to get his clothes. You had clothes in his closet but he never gave you those to wear knowing that you preferred to wear his. That was a lie, he liked it much more than you did. Once you were dressed you went to his room leaning your head against the doorframe. “Hello, You look clean.” Kurapika silently laughed getting up from his bed. 

His eyes flicked to your hair but he didn’t say anything more. It was sly enough for you not to notice that he noticed the curls slowly forming in your hair. Kurapika's gaze did soften while he led you to sit down with him. 

He conversated with you, sitting and touching your hands more than normal. After an hour and a half, he hugged you, “Your hair looks beautiful love.” He took his head out your neck, “I’m going to head in the shower myself now.” 

You stared at him before looking away, it was the way he said things that sounded so genuine. It was coming from the most innocent part of his heart instead of a place of necessity to say it. Kurapika chose to say it because he deemed it as true. 

Leorio

Leorio in his way takes notice of your physical appearance but not quite into how you achieve it. He likes your natural beauty as much as he enjoys seeing you getting dolled up. Any version of you is beautiful to him. 

However, he has no clue your hair is curly. It didn’t come up due to how perfectly you covered it up. It would come up randomly while the two of you were in the middle of a conversation. Leorio wouldn’t believe you at first until you told him you weren’t kidding. 

After it finally registered that you were telling him the truth he would think about it for a moment. Then he would go on to say how pretty you’d look wearing your natural hair and why you hadn’t told him any sooner. 

Leorio would want you to show him your actual hair almost immediately despite your hair barely being straightened. He would definitely be off put at first but he’ll end up loving it.

Nothing is forced upon you but he tells you to always have  your natural hair around him because he likes seeing you at your truest. 

Scenario

You and Leorio were across from each other having breakfast. You were in his home talking about whatever topic came to mind, taking turns adding on to what the other said. A few moments later, silence filled the air due to the two of you enjoying your meals. 

Then he spoke, “Ever since I became a doctor…I never knew recessive genes would be so important.” Leorio looked up from his food before taking another bite. “Like what? How is it important?” You asked curiously, you assumed he wanted to be more of a hands on doctor rather than paperwork and such. 

“Oh man…” He swallowed then took a sip of his water to prepare himself. “Do you know how many guys come in because they say their kids don’t have their features…Or people are confused where a trait comes from and come in to make sure it’s not a sign of something bad?” 

You smiled, “How many-” “A lot.” He answered, “Like colored eyes, curly hair, hair color, Seriously Anything!” You shook your head, holding a finger up to show him you wanted to speak. “That’s weird, my parents never went to the doctor because my hair was different then theirs.” 

Leorio thought about it for a couple moments, “But you don’t? You had curly hair growing up or something like that?” He took another bite waiting for your response. By that point you put your fork down, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him right?

“No, my hair is still the same. It’s just not how it naturally is, I straightened it.” His eyebrows furrowed staring at your hair. Leorio put some thought into it, was that why you told him a few times you needed time to finish doing your hair? That makes a lot more sense than what he assumed was just hair brushing. 

“Can you show me?” You shook your head, “I barely did it, I am not wetting it for you.” He smiled, thinking of another plan. Leorio was quick to get to his knees, his hands moving to your legs. “Get up!” You squealed trying to swat him away, “You are soo embarrassing!” “Please, Please, Please-” 

He begged until you stomped over to the sink, wetting a strand of your hair. His smirk was incredibly visible and he was not ashamed of what he had to do to get his way. 

“Your hair looks so pretty like that-” “I don’t wanna hear it.” It was relieving to hear he did genuinely like it. 

Chrollo

Chrollo had learned to trust you completely over time. Considering that he assumed he knew everything about you and expected you not to hide anything from him. Even if you did hide anything, he would find out eventually regardless if you knew that he did. 

Your hair type was one of the longest and hardest things to uncover. However Chrollo found more evidence of it over time. It wasn’t worth confronting you over but he was definitely confused why you never wore your natural hair around him. He would find you beautiful in any state. So did you dislike it? 

Well, he would make sure he would make you love it as much as he would. 

Chrollo would only come up to you about it when he was sure. Even then, he tried to make it a bonding experience for the two of you. 

Once he finally saw your natural hair, he seemed very satisfied with himself. Chrollo coddled you, complimenting your hair. You would have all the products you desired if you told him that you wanted to wear it natural onwards. 

Scenario

You were in the silence of your room. In the middle of getting ready to go out with your friends, for a small dinner. You had already done your hair, doing it like you usually did when accompanied by other people. 

A firm knock on your front door could be heard from the room you were in. You backed up from the mirror you were at to answer said door. Once you were at the door, you opened it slightly peeking through the slip. “Oh! You didn’t tell me you were coming by today.” You light up at the man in front of you. 

Chrollo slipped into your home, “I’m sorry about that, forgive me. I came by to ask you something,” He placed a kiss on your temple then closed the door behind him. You hummed in return, “It’s alright, what's your question?” You walked off back to where you finished up getting ready. 

Chrollo already knew you were going out with your friends which he didn’t mind. You had told him previously to make sure he didn’t worry if he showed up to an empty house. “You’re not hiding anything from me are you?” He leaned against the room door you were in. 

“No,” You titled your head curiously, “I’m not. Where is this coming from?” Chrollo smiled, shaking his head slightly, “You never told me your hair was curly, or showed me. I'm curious dear, why haven’t you?” He noticed how your gaze shifted back to him suspiciously. “You’re an observant one. I guess…I just never got around to telling you.” You gave him the simplest explanation there was. 

He stared at you, speaking quietly, “Do you mind me coming over tomorrow later in the afternoon?” “I don’t mind, that’s fine.” Chrollo nodded, “Don’t do anything to your hair, Alright? Have fun today.” He said his goodbyes, leaving as fast as he came. 

The day prior Chrollo had told you to keep your hair natural. He seemed genuinely curious to see how your hair naturally lands. So you didn’t do anything to your hair, you had done a small routine but nothing to get rid of your curl pattern.  You waited, he wouldn’t judge but the way he would take in every detail of you made you nervous. 

Would he like it?

He was waiting at your door, a bag of items in hand while the other knocked. “It’s open!” You spoke out from your couch where you sat. “I’ve told you it's not safe to keep your doors unlocked haven’t I?” Chrollo spoke firmly but gently, making his way inside. 

The door clicked locked before he put his focus back to you. “Oh wow,” Chrollo contentedly smiled. He walked over placing the bag on the coffee table in front of you before cupping your face in his hands. “You’ve hid this from me? How cruel.” He playfully spoke, “Hid? I wouldn’t say all of that.” You looked away, taking your face out of his hands. 

“Yes, you hid a beautiful gift.” He moved his focus back to the bag he brought. Chrollo reached for it then had a seat next to you. “You’re too sweet…” He shook his head like you said something he found nonsense. “I brought you a few things, in case you don’t like wearing your hair because of how it behaves. The saleswomen said these would be the best for you.” 

Chrollo handed you a bag of high end products that each had their own boxes. You slowly reached for each product, unboxing them, placing them on the coffee table, then grabbing the next. You couldn't finish before turning back to him, “I can’t accept all this, this most likely costs a fortune.” 

“I insist, I'll help you apply it.” He reached for one you had already opened, “This one is a lightweight moisturizer if I’m correct?” You giggled to yourself watching him open the product. “If the reason that you don’t wear your hair natural is because you don’t like it or it's too much work, let me help you.” 

That day Chrollo had learned how to apply products to your hair how you liked it. He took his time making sure you were satisfied with the outcome. 

“Beautiful.” 

Feitan

Feitan had no clue that your hair was curly. He cared about you and paid attention to your small habits he forgot to pick up on the big ones. The hairtools were something that he saw so often he just saw as normal. 

He found out coincidentally when you had come over to see him. He would think about it the whole time you were in front of him, questioning if it was natural. Feitan eventually figured that it was real and the straight hair you always had wasn’t. 

At the moment he didn’t say anything about it. He kept his normal demeanor but he kept it in mind until the next time he saw you. He had to think about what to say to you, that told you that he liked it without telling you directly that he did. 

Feitan ends up telling you directly that he liked it. 

Whenever you wear it naturally around him, he seems to stare at you more. He doesn’t say anything about it but you can tell he appreciates it. 

Scenario

Phinks had called you, you didn’t receive many calls from anyone from the troupe so you picked up quickly. “Hey, I thought I’d give you a call because Feitan got pretty hurt doing…I don’t know what. Nothing too bad but I thought you'd want to come by.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Thank you.” You hung up getting up to leave your home. You hadn’t gotten the chance to straighten your hair considering that you had stayed home the whole day.

You've gotten calls similar to that and it brought your worries down but you still were a bit worried. The Phantom troupe did have a higher pain tolerance level compared to a normal person.

You got there quickly, entering the building where you assumed they hanged out most of the time. A few members saw you, already knowing why you were there just welcoming you. You greeted them back, then you found him. 

Feitan was laying on one of the couches that they had laying around, his chest wrapped in bandages. It didn’t seem like it bothered him much considering how he was just zoned out staring at the ceiling. He did look a bit frustrated though. 

“Hey, you okay?” You spoke softly to bring his attention to you. He probably already noticed that someone came in but your point still stood to not startle him. His head turned to you, immediately turning to your face or rather your hair. 

He stared for a moment before nodding, “Yeah, Okay.” Feitan looked forward again, “Phinks called?” He asked, feeling your eyes look at his chest trying to almost see through the bandages. “Yeah, he did call. Does it hurt?” 

He turned back to you, “Dumb, Not really. I’m Okay.” You took a seat on the other couch next to his. Feitan stayed there, it felt easier to fall asleep when you were there. So he did. You stayed there for some time before going back home when you deemed it time. 

Two days later, he was already up and moving like he wasn’t still injured. You found him in your room, he sneaked through the window staring back at you. Your hair wasn’t done today either, you hadn’t found a reason to. “What brings you here?” You asked like he was a stranger which made you giggle a bit, “Aren’t you supposed to be healing?” Feitan huffed, approaching you, moving himself to face you as you moved. 

“I said I’m fine, right?” He looked down for a moment, trying to get the words out. It seemed like it was quite a struggle for him, “Your hair…looks nicer like that.” You followed his finger pointing at your head. 

Your boyfriend is awkward but he's definitely trying. 

Shalnark

Shalnark is the type of guy to know everything about you, not from asking you. He would find out from stalking you, which he considers just keeping you safe. He keeps tabs on you, your location just to make sure you're alright. 

The boy was always on his phone, so he would check every few minutes. Not like he was obsessed but just curious about your daily life. He would eventually find out when he was watching you.

It amused him to see that you still had surprises to you despite him watching almost all the time! Shalnark enjoyed seeing your hair like that, smiling excitedly.

He would want to see you as soon as possible. He would want to see it for himself, insanely curious.

It didn't phase him one bit, he was wondering why you didn’t ever mention it. Or ever let him see it. Shalnark is one of the more direct but lighthearted ones when it comes down to it. 

He makes it clear that he likes the most genuine version of you but still makes sure you know he loves you regardless of how you choose to wear your hair.

Scenario

Shalnark wasn’t doing anything particular at the moment. He decided to check up on where you were, seeing the last street camera he saw you on. He was the most online compared to anyone else in the troupe so he had the newest technology he could get his hands on.  That helped when checking up on you. 

The quality was better compared to other people’s devices which he took pride in. Then he spotted you on the cam, in a crowd of people on the street. “Huh…” He smiled, but he was more confused than ever. Was your hair always like that? No. Couldn’t be. 

Shalnark squinted his eyes, bringing the phone screen closer to his face. “Oh wow!” He laughed to himself, not from malicious intent but instead from genuine surprise. He put the phone down scratching his neck looking around. He wasn’t busy at the moment, so maybe he could beat you to your house. He knew you wouldn’t mind him stopping by.

You were walking home, you were just running quick errands. You just got a few groceries and a phone charger since yours was about at the end of its life. Your headphones were in, you didn’t pay attention to anything around you besides the signals of the street lights. You made it home in a couple minutes, not knowing your boyfriend had gotten there a few moments before you. 

You unlocked your door, placing your stuff on the kitchen countertop after you locked it. Suddenly, you felt hands on your shoulders which made your heart fall to your stomach.

You turned back quickly to see your blonde boy staring back at you. His eyes moved to your face and your hair every millisecond. You pulled your headphones off hitting his chest, “You scared the shit out of me! You need to stop doing that, it's not cool!” Shalnark kissed you, trying to make it better. “You need to start paying attention to what's happening around you, getting kidnapped isn’t cool.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, “Whatever.” His fingers moved to your hair, wrapping it around his finger. “You never told me you had curly hair…That hurts my feelings y’know?” He placed a hand over his heart with a smile clearly not meaning it. You forgot as soon as he scared you the fact he'd never seen you like that before.

“So you’re here to complain about it?” You smiled a bit amused, leaning back on the counter. “No, no not at all. I actually like it a lot. Even considering this is the first time I’ve actually seen it I do prefer it compared to when it's straightened.” Despite his expression, he was being genuine.

“You look really pretty, well you always do. But even more so now.” 

The dream was going well up until you said that. No, it wasn't what you did that ruined it. It was how his stupid dream self responded. Killua felt his heart sink to his stomach hearing himself speak.

"I don't...see you that way. Sorry but you're still one of my best friends."

Your mouth pressed into a fine line, with a hitched sigh following after.

"Mhm..that's fine. Don't worry about it."

It felt like he kicked a puppy with the way you looked at him. The glassy look in your eyes that he didn't see for long because you walked off.

The last thing he heard was the soft crunches from the grass being stepped on. His vision faded into nothingness while he stared down at where you once stood.

Killua jolted out of bed, breathing heavily looking around to see where he was. His body felt so wet, cold sweats. He wasn't near the pink trees but instead in his bed.

The silence weighed heavy before he let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't real. He would never do that to you.

That brought something else out of him, the feelings he tried so desperately to hide. All the effort Killua put into making it disappear, to not be left in a lovestruck state.

But there he was.

Killua had to face it, he couldn't lie to himself anymore. He wanted to be with you, he was sure of it now. There was no way he wouldn't take his chance if he had one.

Oblivious to your feelings, All he knew was that he had to make sure you knew about his. Killua threw his head back onto his pillow, the moon still glistening.

He would just have to tell you in the morning. No matter how important, he didn't want to bother you at this hour.

That was a lie, he would bother you late at night if he wanted to. This time he was just too. . .nervous.

In the morning, he'll have courage!

He totally will.

You woke up to a specific Zoldyck blowing up your phone. It did frustrate you to be woken up by someone else's doing but you answered.

Killuas voice was deeper and rasper than usual because he had called you still half asleep. His voice was coherent, just a bit slow-paced. Not that you minded, you needed time to process his words. The most he got out of you was a few mumbles and hums.

Killua thought it sounded pretty cute, you sounded peaceful.

After a few moments you realized what you agreed to, he wanted to meet you. That was normal, the two of you were friends.

Friends hang out.

Can friends get a kiss?

He hoped so.

Killua waited under a cherry blossom tree. Cliché, but he liked those moments of you under it. Maybe a gust of wind could come to blow some pink flowers into your hair. He liked that idea.

You didn't go unnoticed by him, the grass crunching against your soles once again.

Your smile felt contagious, it felt like too much and not enough. It was overwhelming for a boy who had never seen the appeal of falling for someone like this.

Killua almost missed your greeting, he mumbled something back before trying to get to the point. Clearing his throat, just for nothing to leave it. His eyes following your movements, letting silence fill the air between you.

This was harder than he thought.

"Are you okay?" You spoke up for him, his behavior was off. Killua to a certain extent was awkward at times but not quite like this. You could practically see the vulnerability radiating off his being.

Though there wasn't anything legitimate radiating off him, it was all in his eyes.

Especially with how the sun was hitting him, the blue was so captivating. It reminded you of the waves of the ocean and how the sun beautifully reflected it. The ocean varying in color the deeper you got but still stunning nonetheless. He had nice eyes you suppose..

"Just fine...Yeah so...Yeah." He gulped rather loudly, you were just about to laugh but you held it back. Poor boy sounded like he had enough on his plate. "It's actually funny because you said you liked me in my dream and...I wanted to tell you that I like you."

"You like me? And you had a dream of me?" You questioned a smile that even the blindest could see. You tried to suppress it to not sound too excited but it was useless.

"I guess I do, and yeah you were there.." Killua looked to the side, trying to not sound sappy. This was practically a humiliation ritual for him. Too bad for him.

"You guess? I don't think that's the answer I'm looking for." You were teasing, you stepped ever so slightly back. Killuas eyes met yours before you could think of pulling that again, "No no I know..I like you." He corrected himself.

You smiled shaking your head, stepping back closer to him. "I like you too, Killua."

Your hand moved feeling around your bed, until finally making contact with your phone. The notifications popped up rather quickly. One after another taking over your phone.

The messages were all from the same person, your boyfriend. Killua.

He texted you goodnight and what you wanted for the future. It confused you for a moment. The two of you talked about that before.

Killua would just have to explain in the morning because you were exhausted. Seeing his name alone brought enough comfort, so you put your phone face down once more.

It didn't take long to fall back into REM sleep. The dream was different this time though. A different memory of Killua. One of your personal favorites, the lazy mornings after sleepovers.

“It’s so early…where are you trying to gooo..?” Killua whined pulling you back into your bed. You would groan, trying to fight against his grip to no avail.

Your brain was fuzzy on some parts but the important parts always stayed. Irrelevant parts like the morning noise. Instead focusing on the way his hands wrapped around your waist. Guiding you to embrace him like you did minutes ago.

“Killua, 5 more minutes. Then we gotta get up.”

You only said that to seem less clingy. Sometimes you wish you said something more.

He would just hum, satisfied with that answer. Killua knew he would be able to make you stay for another hour or so. He was always good at making you forget the time.

His head laid at the crook of your neck, only lifting to kiss your jaw before going back. He held you even tighter, enjoying the warmth radiating off of you.

The fluff of his hair, you could still feel it. Your hands would always find their way to his hair. Combing through, twirling it, lightly tugging at it.

You could find yourself losing consciousness whenever he had you like this.

Killua would stay up as long as he could, making sure you fell asleep before he did. So he could be sure his evil plan of keeping you to himself longer worked. It did that time, you felt the vibration of his breathless chuckle.

That day you did not get up in five minutes.

The last thing you felt before falling fully asleep that morning was a kiss to your neck. But the last thing you heard was killua.

“I love you, a lot.” You could hear the smile in his voice, “And..Sorry not sorry, We didn’t need to get up that bad anyways.”

Then it was gone. The memory ended as soon as you fell asleep.

That dream led you into the morning, your phone dinging as soon as you woke up. It had to be Killua, he always had some weird timing.

Your eyes squinted, eyebrows furrowing staring at the scene. Yes, the message said good morning.

but it wasn’t Killua.

You could ignore that for now. You scrolled past that on your notification box, looking for the previous message he sent last night.

What do you want for the future? Guess he didn't remember, but he always remembered what you said. No matter how little. A person can’t remember everything so it was alright. You would tell him when he came by.

The message was unfindable under Killuas name. Instead all the messages were from a different number. The ones you saw last night..they weren't from killua.

Right, it slipped past you. The exhaustion made you see his name. Instead of the boy who you started talking to.

It was him doing most of the talking anyways. He was sweet, but he wasn't Killua. No. You just imagined that it was killua, for a moment.

You believed yourself last night. That your sweet boyfriend was still here. He was still here to spam your phone, and come by in the morning. Killua wouldn’t be here to do any of it anymore.

He wasn’t here to make fun of you. Laugh at you falling on his skateboard. Beg you to make him food. To kiss you whenever it was just the two of you.

He was in the prettiest grave. The one you would replace the flowers every three days. It would never gain dust because you would always be there.

Killua was gone, he left you long ago.

Not because of a break up, he had died on you. He had left you alone, so angry at the rest of the world for moving on.

Killua would’ve hated seeing you cry over him. That would only make your heart feel heavier. He would’ve hated that you wished it would have been you instead of him.

For a moment, he was real. Killua was just in the comfort of his own home, sleeping away. Still breathing. He did know what you wanted in the future, and you wanted him. He remembered every last thing you told him.

The contact was blocked. It was cruel, mean, and underserved. But..If Killua was here, he would have made fun of the guy for thinking he had a chance with you. You only did what killua would have. He would just have to live through you until you saw him again.

Later that afternoon, you visited like you had since the beginning. Except when it happened you stayed at his grave. Not wanting to leave his side at night, sleeping next to it. He always liked to be warm. Was he warm there?

➽────────────────────❥

Killua finally looked away, slightly embarrassed from how bold he was getting. “It’d be funny to see you fall anyways.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Don’t get too cocky.”

Killua had to admit that was the best idea he has ever had in his life. He got to help the girl of his dreams do something he’s excellent at ? And you willingly agreed. Who knew it would be so successful? He definitely wasn't mad about the outcome.

“Stop squirming so much,” His grip on your waist tightened as you squealed. Your hands quickly move to his shoulders. If he died that very moment, he would die in bliss.

“Sorry Killua, I may have meant that I could get on the board without it rolling away..” He shrugged his shoulders, a smile plastered. “I figured, Don’t worry I’ll teach you. You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

Usually, he WOULD have gotten annoyed with anyone for exaggerating their skills. But he couldn't possibly be mad at you. When you slipped, he quickly brought you to your feet and his face would get oh so close to yours.

You could see the pink on Killua’s face as he walked off to get your skateboard. It was kind of cute when you thought about it.

By the end of the day, Killua taught you how to stay on the skateboard while you rolled. Now you could cruise on a board and he couldn’t help but cheese when he remembered he was the one who taught you.

That very night his hands lingered on his own body because well..you touched it. Killua followed where your hands once were, desperate to feel any closer to you. At some point, your hands held his . That was when you tried to gain your balance but still…It counted, didn’t it? Killua knew it did.

It meant something, your relationship with him was progressing.

The stalking went unnoticed by you. Not like he wanted you to know, It just made him see what else he could get away with. Killua wasn’t crazy, he wouldn’t cut a peice of your hair or anything. He didn’t want to upset you or hurt you, even if it was just hair.

So, he did the next best thing. The two of you started to hang out more often and that meant he could snoop through your room at times.

Killua stole articles of clothing, anything that called his interest. Before he would leave, he would borrow a hairtie from you. It found a nice home on his wrist, it was subtle. Enough for him to be happy about but not enough for you to notice.

It wasn’t uncommon for him to whine your name, aching for attention. Always disguised as something else, like he needed you to bring you something right infront of him or he thought you were going to get lost in a crowd.

“Are you missing your common sense? You’ll get lost if you wander off again!” Killua would proceed to have a gentle grip of your wrist. “Who knows who will approach you thinking you’re by yourself.”

You would look up at him, “What’s that supposed to mean?” Which would make him shake his head mumbling away. “Nothing, Don’t worry about it.”

Killua’s plan was starting to work, slowly but surely. He could feel himself softening up to you, noticing you doing the same. Except your feelings were him barely surfaced, his were there long ago. Killua loved you already, he was ready for any chance you would give him.

Honestly, If you asked him nice enough, he would beg you to give him a chance. Not an ounce of shame in his voice nor body, pure adoration. Killua would do it just for your eyes to stay on him, so you could get flustered by his pleads. Any reaction from you was a good one.

The more time passed, he would require more attention. It wouldn’t be enough until he could call you his. To hear you say that he was yours.

God, he craved you more everyday.

There wasn’t a second that passed without you crossing his mind. How it would feel for him to hear a yes to escape those pretty lips of yours. He would be your boyfriend, and he wouldn’t have to be so distant from you.

Killua was reaching his breaking point. Hands gripping the side of his pants whenever he was close to you. Face flushed when you would fix his hair when he played too much with electricity. Asking for sips of your drinks just to get an indirect kiss from you.

Then a guy came, asking for your number. Despite Killua being right next to you. Was he blind? Or just an idiot?

If looks could kill, he would’ve died where he stood. Killua wouldn’t do that infront of you, not unless you wanted him to.

You ended up turning the guy down, glancing over at Killua to see a smug look on his face. The guy walked off as Killua spoke into your ear.

“That was funny, he thought he would’ve been able to take care of you.” Killua shook his head with scoff, “He’s stupid.”

Killua ended up calling Milluki, asking him to identify the man through the street cameras. At a price, he had his address and Social Security number. Along with anything else his brother could find on him.

The guy was on the news by morning time. Of course, you didn’t see it. You were too busy making breakfast from scratch with Killua, laughing at how messy he was being. Then making fun of how big he was for wanting to eat all the batter.

All your attention was on him, he wouldn’t prefer it any other way. This was the life he wanted with you, where it would be carefree and sweet.

Nothing like his family that he would have to be so cautious around. The ones who didn’t know how to love without hurting the people around them. To Killua, you were peace itself.

It was mere months before Gon got him to confess. After Killua was sure you liked him, he finally told you. He couldn’t say he just liked you, it was more than that. Killua never wanted to lie to you unless it was to protect you. He was humble enough to only say he was doing a good job so far protecting you.

“I have feelings for you, I’ve had them for a long time if I’m honest.” He admitted as you stared at him, silently.

Even though it was mere seconds, he started to get a bit desperate for a reply. “Give it a chance please, I’ll be whoever you want me to be.”

A smile spread on your face, you covered it with your hand, “I want you to be you Killua, I like you too.” Killua’s face twitched, you might’ve broken him.

He brought your hand down, out of your face to see you properly. His mouth opened to speak but it was just nervous sighs and stutters.

“So..Do you want to ask something else maybe?” You silently laughed as it hit him. You wanted him to ask you? To be his girlfriend? You? And Him? Together?

Killua couldn’t ask for more at the moment. He leaned his head down giving you a small bow, “Can I be your boyfriend?” He closed his eyes like he was bracing for impact.

“I don’t know, can you?” It was funny to you, he didn’t find it too funny at the moment. “Yes, You can be.” It came out softer than you intended to but that was just what he needed.

It even softer than when you told him you would listen to him. The kindest anyone had ever spoken to him, the first time someone saw him as a boy who dealt with horrible things. Not as someone who could take the treatment because he was a good assassin.

He pounced on you mumbling sorry’s as he got you into place. Kissing you all over, flustering you beyond belief. Meeting your lips more times than he had thought about you. By the time he was done, the two of you were breathing heavily.

All you did was look at him with your furrowed brows, a gentle tone like you were scared to hurt him. Unlike any one he knew, you saw past the snarkiness. You didn’t see the boy that was trained to endure anything and everything. The one that was spoken to like he was incapable of feeling, like he had it easy.

No, you saw him as a normal boy. Who should’ve been comforted and held for the trauma he went through. Killua was just casually joking about what he would do to his family when he got strong enough. That he only had to thank them for his immunity to the things that tormented his childhood.

“I’m sorry, you deserved better than that. Does it still bother you..?” You were ready to listen, absorb his words so you could recite it to a T. Atleast that’s what Killua heard when you spoke. He stumbled over his words, before settling with a shoulder shrug.

“Not that much anymore but that’s kind of just how my family is.”

That earned a small hum from you, nodding your head understandingly. You smiled at him, hand hovering over his shoulder before making contact. “If you ever want to talk to someone, I’ll listen to you.”

At the time, he just muttered under his breath something you didn’t quite catch. You assumed it was a variation of thanks or okay. That was it, nothing followed after.

But

Killua found himself craving more of..whatever you gave him. Whether it was the foreign feeling of comfort or the way you worried for him instead of just finding his backstory frightening. It was the exact type of attention he wanted. The type he never received, but could only wish he got.

He loved it, every second of it. Killua made sure you didn’t notice so soon though. He was sneaky, he was raised that way.

Maybe he had another thing to thank his family for. Killua would lurk around you, and somehow always bump into you when you went somewhere new.

Killua easily convinced Gon to get closer to you so he could too. Gon was a good friend and encouraged Killua to talk to you more.

It only fueled him more, made him more consistent. That’s how he ended up having another conversation with you, alone. Killua thought he would be braver this time around, who follows someone around but is too scared to actually talk to them?

You soothed his worries faster than he expected. You had started the conversation, it was almost too easy. Killua grinned as you spoke, tilting his head following yours. Everything about you, it made him feel like he was floating instead of being chained down to an abyss.

At times, he would find you zoned out with low set eyes, just enjoying the silence. Then you would look up at him and give a soft smile.

“Hey Killuaa, haven’t seen you today. Kinda missed you..”

“Kinda? Not even a forsure? Ouch.” He raised a brow at you, scanning you. The two of you weren’t dating, didn’t have time to. There were moments that kept him up, moments where he should’ve asked you.

How his hand snaked around your waist, to comfort you when you were on too much. When you started to see things, shutting your eyes, asking him to stay just a moment longer.

He berated you while holding you closer. Covering your eyes in the process. The smell started to cling to him from the sheer amount of times this would happen.

The times you would go behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck or resting your hands on his shoulders, bringing your mouth down to his ear. It made him shiver each time.

The way no one else saw you the way he did. The times you two would secretly kiss, always going in for more. Which would eventually end with him pleading with you not to go.

“Five more minutes?”

That sly smile of yours meant he could keep going.

Killua would remember the day vividly, a voicemail you left on his phone. The tone of your voice vastly different from the one that chimed his name.

He had slept in that day, he wished he hadn’t. Killua couldn’t help the tears that spilled when you spoke so peacefully about being sorry. That all the weed and drinks in the world just couldn’t cut it anymore. You were tired, you wanted peace but he thought he could be your peace.

It broke him to see you lying so still. He could’ve made all the pain go away, Couldn’t he? Maybe if you had given him the chance. If you had given him the time. Killua looked at your face once last time, you looked just as pretty as when he first saw you at the Hunter Exam. Then they lowered you.

He got your favorite piece of jewelry, you left it for him. Killua never wore it though, just stared at it sometimes. Other times touching it with trembling fingers as he cried.

Killua would replay the end of your voicemail alot, You said you loved him. None of it was his fault and in another life you would've wanted to live a mundane life with him. The voicemail ended with you saying his name one last time before it cut off.

Truthfully, he never got enough time to love you. Killua told Gon about you, about his feelings for you. Though it didn’t change anything, it made you feel more real to him. Like you were still here, waiting for him to come find you. Killua hated the smoke, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss it—no. Killua missed you, everything about you.

Killua stared at the message he last sent before swiping up to re-read. He huffed, not wanting to wait more than a minute for you to respond.

“Do I like her?” He repeated Gon's question, “No, definitely.” A faint pink coated his face as he covered it with his hands.

Gon just blankly stared at him while Killua tweaked out. No, definitely? Was that a definite no, or a different way of saying yes?

“Is that a yes? You do like her then!” Killua flicked Gon's forehead. He was embarrassed and embracing the fact he had feelings for you while Gon was asking stupid questions. Killua thought that the flick was well deserved.

“Of course I do, idiot!” He murmured after, “You don’t have to be so loud about it geez.” Killua looked around all while Gon rubbed his forehead.

“What if she hears?” Glancing over his shoulders scanning the perimeters.

“She’s not even here,” Gon said, but also looking around to see if he saw you. Which he didn’t. “Want me to tell her that you like her?”

Killua's face scrunched, his eyes twitching. “Don’t even think about it.” Gon laughed at his expression, “You look funny, but I won’t.”

Gon lied, He did tell you. He sent you a message saying that Killua had feelings for you. Told you to be bold about it because Killua would take years trying to confess.

It made you nervous, but it was expected. I mean, it wasn't like Killua was good at hiding his feelings for you. He was always flustered around you, let you snatch a few of his chocolates, even tug at his hair without much complaint.

He definitely likes you.

You soon responded back to killua after deleting and rephrasing your message multiple times. Straightforward was the best. That's what Gon said, right?

‘I have feelings for you, Killua.’ That was typed with trembling fingers, but he didn't need to know that. You threw your phone to the opposite side of your bed, regretting your decision you rushed back to your phone.

Seen. 1 minute. 2 minutes. 3 minutes. 4 minutes.

You were about to kill Gon.

Killua on the other hand was starstruck, staring at the message. Gon had to slap the back of his head to get through to him. You would think he was rejecting you if he didn't answer. With that, Killua typed fast but never sent anything. Rewriting and erasing everything he typed, just like you.

“Just say you have feelings for her too!” Gon rushed him before snatching the phone, “I’ll do it for you since you can’t.” The blood in Killua's face drained as he registered what Gon did.

But he couldn’t really be mad when he saw your quick answer.

’I was nervous that you weren’t going to respond but I’m glad that you feel that way about me too.’

He glared at Gon before deciding to let it slide. His fingers clicked at the letters, phone up in his face, smile plastered.

‘I was going to respond faster but Gon was doing something Stupid so I needed to help him.’

Killua lied, trying to play into a nonchalant act. ‘But I can stop by wherever you are. We can talk or whatever you want.’

Inspo- Stephanie by Nafeesisboujee

The only reason you hadn’t let the word love escape you was because you knew the extent of his love for you. Or rather lack of extent. Killua’s growing obsession, it was too noticeable.

The lingering touches, hands creeping around your waist. Leading you away from anyone he could. His words becoming ever so slightly more manipluative. Icy blue eyes moved as you did. Then those same eyes stared blankly at people who got too close. Yes, you did notice. It wasn’t healthy, was it?

If you said you loved him? He would be yours forever. Regardless if you wanted him forever or not. It’s not like you didn’t love him, you did. You almost felt bad for not saying it, it looks like he would get down on his knees and beg if you asked him to. Just in exchange for those pretty words to leave your mouth.

“I love you, Killua.” You said it, you hid the slyness in your voice. The edges of your mouth turned down, a tiny smile. Seeing Killua practically put down all his walls to hear this from you, made you feel something.

Killuas eyes flicked up to you before back down at your intertwined hands. He pulled you, holding you tightly against him. If he brought you closer to him, would that bring you further from everyone else? He hoped so.