illi / iris

i’ll bring back my violet harmon theme but for now i wanna keep andy :3

𝜗℘ intro thing ! 

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ ❀ : iris / illi 𓏵

mostly prefer iris, only if we’re close tho 

﹒〣 18  ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🦢་༘࿐

‧˚꒰🐾୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ shi / her or they / them mostly! but also he/him

about me

⋮ ⌗ ┆i’m black and pansexual

⋮ ⌗ ┆i say slurs i CAN reclaim

⋮ ⌗ ┆sometimes i follow ppl just glancing at their profile once, so if ur rlly young im sorry 💔 im not a creep i swear lmfao. i won’t interact any further.

⋮ ⌗ ┆i love drawing so much yay!!  (im not fucking picasso, be nice 😭 i have my own style! commissions r always open if u like)

⋮ ⌗ ┆am a selfshipper (@holymolyrockandrollie was the blog for it, but obvi i gotta make a new account)

interests: ZERO DAY 🩷, american horror story, alternative subculture, skins UK, scott pilgrim, reading, writing, drawing, monkeys/primates (LOL), twilight, simping over postal dude, the vampire diaries, 80s bands, 2000s bands, teen wolf, the outsiders, american psycho, duck! the carbine high massacre, kevin spencer (i’m not a weird fan erm), horror movies, my babysitter’s a vampire, fight club

dislikes: ppl who r genuinely mean but try to play it off as jokes, racists (obviouslyyy), ableism, nsfw blogs, maga, transphobes, homophobes

BYI (before you interact)

𓉸ྀི  i use tone tags!

𓉸ྀི  my blog is rlly messy and unorganized 😭😭

𓉸ྀི i don’t rlly discourage it bc im insecure and need attention (so i like it), but if ur gonna flirt with me, then use tone tags.. like i said, i get attached to people, so i’d prefer not to get the wrong idea.

𓉸ྀི i make typos a lot but some of them are on purpose

dms r always open, jus be civil and nice.. ok? 🥹🥹🥹

hashtags ill use ꨄ︎

ⵌ angeldoll vents (pretty fragile angel’s venting time, usually sui!c!dal thoughts or ED related.)

ⵌ angel’s thoughts (what’s on pretty fragile angel’s mind)

ⵌ ᛝ angel sketchin (my drawings lel)

ⵌ songs i like (sharing songs)

ⵌ lyric posting (song lyrics i like)

ⵌ bones (writing/poetry)

def analyze_post(post):

emotional_signals = []

if "misinterpreted" in post:

emotional_signals.append("she feels misunderstood")

if "attacked" in post:

emotional_signals.append("she sense personal attacks")

if "breaking point" in post:

emotional_signals.append("she shows emotional exhaustion")

if "so much on my plate" in post:

emotional_signals.append("she is overburdened")

if "no empathy" in post:

emotional_signals.append("she sense lack of empathy")

if "couldn't sleep" in post:

emotional_signals.append("the problem is affecting sleep")

return emotional_signals

def infer_needs(signals):

needs = []

if "she feels misunderstood" in signals:

needs.append("validation")

if "she sense personal attacks" in signals:

needs.append("emotional assurance")

if "she shows emotional exhaustion" in signals:

needs.append("rest")

if "she is overburdened" in signals:

needs.append("understanding")

if "the problem is affecting sleep" in signals:

needs.append("stress’ reduction")

return needs

def avoid():

return [

"not minimise the problem",

"not say 'you are overreacting'",

"not assume you are all right",

"not incite drama with other people"

]

def build_response(needs):

response = []

if "validation" in needs:

response.append(

"I know you have been feeling like that for a while,and that must be very exhausting. Feeling that way, after everything is completely valid."

)

if "understanding" in needs:

response.append(

"All the people who cares about you know and understand you are dealing with a lot of pressure, stress and other things that are not helpful for your mental health."

)

if "emotional assurance" in needs:

response.append(

"The anons who are rude don’t know what are your vent for, or they haven’t even looked at your blog for context. If I were you I’d also been overthinking it instead of sleeping, because that lack of human basic empathy is worrying."

)

if "stress’ reduction" in needs:

response.append(

"If this kind of situations are very stressful, you can always turn off the anons and force them to say that kind of nonsense publicly. Or don’t answer. This are just ideas. You have all the right to talk about whatever you want in this blog. Because is yours."

)

response.append(

"Espero que las próximas conversaciones sean más tranquilas y que puedas sentirte escuchada."

)

return "\n\n".join(response)

post = "...texto de Tumblr..."

signals = analyze_post(post)

needs = infer_needs(signals)

rules = avoid()

reply = build_response(needs)

______________________________________

I know you have been feeling like that for a while,and that must be very exhausting. Feeling that way, after everything is completely valid.

All the people who cares about you know and understand you are dealing with a lot of pressure, stress and other things that are not helpful for your mental health.

The anons who are rude don’t know what are your vent for, or they haven’t even looked at your blog for context. If I were you I’d also been overthinking it instead of sleeping, because that lack of human basic empathy is worrying.

If this kind of situations are very stressful, you can always turn off the anons and force them to say that kind of nonsense publicly. Or don’t answer. This are just ideas.

You have all the right to talk about whatever you want in this blog. Because is yours.

thank you. i’ll just start limiting some of the anonymous questions. i’ll explain myself if anyone has questions , but i won’t continue to do it if anyone tries to twist my words. i just want to be heard, you know? and i’m trying to get better. so thank you for understanding, anon. 🖤

fat (adjetive) = 1) having a lot of

flesh on the body

2) thick or large

fat (noun) = 1) the substance under

the skin of humans and

animals that

storesenergy and keeps

them warm

phobia (noun) = 1) a type of anxiety

disorder (a

mental illness that

makes someone very

worried and affects

their life) that

involves an extreme

fear of something

2) an extreme fear or

dislike of a

particular thing or

situation,

especially one that

is not reasonable

fatphobia = extreme fear or dislike to fat

Fatphobic = person who feels an extreme fear or dislike to fat

fatphobic = person who hates fat people????? Wtf

Don’t listen how don’t know what are even saying.

i already explained myself nicely. if you’re gonna start harassing me and making me into the bad guy, then i’m not gonna be nice anymore. im gonna be a bitch, because i never said it was an excuse. i was open about my trauma and even SAID i UNDERSTAND how it can be taken that way. i shared every important fucking detail, and apparently that’s not enough?

i’m not fatphobic, but anyone who thinks i am can unfollow rn…. it’s my disorder and i’m the one with the shitty thoughts. i feel like you have no right to tell me ‘i’m this or that.’ i could see WHY you might think that , but i have just explained that i feel out of control with my thoughts. its about control and willpower for me.

please just leave me alone, block me if you don’t like what you see. i’m not even trying to be mean , i’m just tired of hearing people say this to me. this is not just about my appearance, but about my need for willpower. why is it about my appearance? i was bullied for my appearance and i’ve never been the same since then.

i vent on here because tumblr is like my safe space, believe it or not. i like writing here and meeting mutuals , especially ones who are also mentally ill (jirai community) i basically have nobody to talk to about this who understands , and i feel like people on here have understand more than my family or anyone in my life has.

i know sharing my thoughts here COULD make someone possibly misinterpret my thoughts , but that’s not my intent here at all. this is just how i talk, i guess. i don’t know how to not express myself this way when this is how i feel, especially when i’m overwhelmed. it’s a loss of control.

and again , this isn’t an £d blog where i encourage you to harm yourself. i’d never wish the shit on anyone, EVER. this is my blog where i talk about my mental health, share my love for scene and emo subculture, draw, write, and be me. i used to use those tags so i’d make friends with people who had similar disorders, but i am not using them anymore.

okay. i have body dysmorphia. i’m literally not fatphobic at all. my thoughts are dangerous and very self-deprecating. if it came off that way , then i apologize. i’m not fatphobic. i’m just annoyed to hear this comment for the fourth time. i don’t know how to say it in a simpler way , i just feel like i’m fat and spiral out of control when i binge. 

i don’t care about other people’s weights or how they look. this is my safe space to vent, and the language i use might come off that way.. but it’s not my intent. i care about how i look and if i can control this one aspect of my life. that’s what it feels like for me.

when i binge , i lose all sense of control and motivation. it’s my willpower , and i can’t control the way my life is right now , BUT i can control my weight. so when i mess up and binge , i lose hope.

i’m not trying to be mean either. my family has said this to me as well, so i get how it can come across. i don’t care how other people look , it’s about ME and my control. i hope i’ve explained this is in the best way..? 

also , i’m not an £D blog , i just have a disorder. i don’t encourage anyone to be like me or do the things that i’d do. i wish i had a different life where i didn’t have this disorder.

sometimes i use those tags because i want to make moots and friends who are just like me , but i’m not pro a4a or anything. tumblr is my safe space to vent and make friends… or at least people who understand me. i have been dealing with this since i was about eight years old , and i received fatphobic comments then , sometimes now too. my point is, i know what it’s like.

if anyone can relate , then please share some of ur experiences or thoughts.. i feel totally disgusted with myself.