Audrey with a d

you people will reblog anything

I love how some fics are called shit like "They Only Shoot The Birds Who Cannot Sing" and it's like the most insane porn you're ever read and then some fics are called Spit On Me and it's 18,000 words of the most achingly id-scratching prose you've ever read and they're both. They're both so fucking good. thank God for fanfiction.

rip Gideon, you would've loved calling Harrow "my beautiful princess with a disorder"

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

I laugh every fucking time because I hear it in his voice.

I actually love the song Yankee Doodle because the lyrics seem like complete fucking nonsense to modern ears. you hear it as a kid and it's like oh dope the Wiggles made a sequel to Jabberwocky. but you look it up and "Yankee Doodle stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni" is actually 18th century British for "Americans all want to be hipster twinks but they're too poor and stupid to do it right." and to top it off Americans in general were just like "this is unironically a bop"

Pokemon Heritage Post

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse