//u got no sense of humour//

don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake

truly the end goal is not "my close friends aren't annoyed by me and it's all in my head, they're my friends and they love me", it's "sometimes I do annoy my close friends, just as the people I love most will also annoy me sometimes, because this is normal, and we will continue to stay friends, and they're not going to want to immediately cut me out of their life if I do something annoying once in a while"

thoughtbthis meant they were predators to them

a massive cloud of paper airplanes descending upon a 747 and when they disperse all that’s left is a massive airliner skeleton picked perfectly clean of all flesh

turns out I simply cannot handle situations

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

if i didnt get little treats sometimes. well i would fucking die i think

the bus should be free and airplane tickets should cost $10 max and tsa agents should apologize to everyone they talk to

people who dont double text are in such mental prisons. i will text seven times if it requires it

morality is definitely a human concept but i do think that dolphins know what they do is wrong

media will make u go Wow i wish i was 15 again and then u will think wow what the hell fuck am i even saying. for gods sake No i dont

Stress having physical effects is so stupid your body's just like "you've been having a real shit time and I'm about to make it worse" I hope you die I hope we both die

“don’t eat honey because it exploits the bees and they can’t consent!!!” bees are literally unionized and will walk out if they don’t like being in the beekeeper’s hives

trying to explain doctor who is like trying to explain the taste of water