Pushed Back To Another Dimension

Twilight (2008) dir. Catherine Hardwicke

Supernatural (2005-2020)

very bad montage with horrible music. dean’s got a dog now (thankfully not the poodle he tried to fuck in season 9). they go somewhere. sam asks dean if he is sad that cas is in turbo hell. dean’s like ‘yeah shits sucks i guess’. he’s a little sad but that’s not going to stop him from going to the pie eating competition. they attend the pie eating competition. they do ok probably. but then.. uh-oh! a new group of villains is introduced! they’re.. juggalos? but also vampires which is scary. and.. they have knifes! but dean’s going to kill them with his shuriken. oh..! but another twist! one of the juggalos—who is not dressed like a juggalo—is a woman(!) that has been on the show before. dean kills her. but not with his shuriken. and maybe he should have killed her with his shuriken because—twist! dean gets impaled somehow. he dies. no, but for real this time. he’s dead. kill your gays 100% speedrun. sam burns his body. sam only makes one slice of toast for breakfast next morning. very sad. he grows old. you can tell his old because he is wearing a gray wig. he marries. have kids etc. meanwhile dean is in heaven. he reunites with his one true love—the impala. bobby is also there. he tells dean that cas has fixed up heaven for him. but cas isn’t allowed to be in heaven. probably because he’s gay. he never appears in the episode. dean goes for a car ride. carry on my wayward son plays on the radio. it sounds bad. sam puts on a whiter wig. this means he’s very old now. sam dies because he’s old. he goes to heaven. he meets dean. he reunites with the car. cas is never mentioned again. is he still in turbo hell? maybe. dean and sam looks into the camera homophobically. they mock you for still watching the show. the end.

My brain still processing this hot mess

Pass the poison.

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