Who needs Meghan Trainor’s “NO” when there’s this masterpiece?

this is literally honestly a fucking bop

HAVE FUN IN THE FUCKING SLAMMER WINONA

ur gonna die anyway so get that fucking tattoo ur parents and friends hate and eat whatever u want

“You’re gonna die anyway, so just set your house on fire and drink snake venom.” This is like the worst life philosophy and you can use it to justify anything.

ok like not to rain on ur parade but getting a tattoo and eating some fries are very different than setting ur house on fire and drinking venom like I see where ur coming from but we were only going like 25 mph u didn’t need to accelerate it to 120 in a second lmao

the hag in folklore actually is symbolic of men being afraid that when women get older we’ll realize how shit they really are and eat them which is fair and they should be

i ate chef boyardee and began to cry bro that shit was so bad… i had noodles i could have eaten those

strange and weird that me not shaving my legs & leaving them in their natural fuzzy state and really never thinking about it is seen as an active choice, and maintaining nakey bald legs with careful weekly upkeep is seen as a default

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

STOP making those jokes. Stop writing about how you’re trash or a disaster. It’s not funny, and it’s not helping you, it’s harming you. You’re not trash. Stop it already.

on all levels except physical I’m already retired and living in a cozy cottage where I grow plums in my garden

I am physically incapable to be mean in RPGs.