you’re telling me a queer coded this

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pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

highkey want to be clicker trained

the Cc in emails stands for Cuck chair

dick so good you start plotting and scheming

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

I really need people to realise that Ilya is functionally fluent in English even that first time in Regina. "You will not be so nice when we beat you" is a complex sentence construction! It's got a future tense and a conditional clause in it! He keeps making a couple of common-for-Russians grammar mistakes (mostly dropping words to reflect Russian sentence structure) and he has gaps in his vocabulary and listening comprehension is famously difficult, but his English is so fucking good. And you can just copy the way he talks in the show or the books! It's very consistent! Russian is way more complex than English and he definitely got some formal instruction before he went to Boston! I don't understand why he ends up talking like he's never heard of auxiliary verbs or pronoun declension before in fic when canon is so clear about his language skills

the unstoppable force is tonguing the immovable object and it seems to be enjoying the experience