no me vas a alcanzar

⤷ jack, 24, he/him, english ⤷ "world's normalest checo pérez fan" unbeaten title holder seven years running ⤷ number one hulkenrez guy in this entire world, force india's strongest soldier still fighting forever ⤷ tottenham until they kill me (which they might) ⤷ ao3 here (fics archive locked) ⤷ absolutely no minors, 18+ to follow (this is not a place of honour. i hornypost. this is your warning) ⤷ like n follow from @tubularbreakfast

HELLO ROBERT KUBICA

👀 who gets jealous more easily and how obvious are they about it: ohhhhhhhh my god nico is so jealous and he is really fucking obvious about it. jealous nico is my bread and butter (i wrote a fic about him crashing out when checo was filmed at the mexico gp party dancing with lewis at the dj booth) i think he is really possessive but also super pathetic about it and throws a strop as soon as he even thinks checo is looking at another guy – which he isn't, nico is just insecure and thinks checo is 1 second from leaving him at all times.

knew you would have my back my loyal general of the grand hulkenrez army

🍳 who cooks and who sets off the smoke alarm trying to help: i think the most nico can cook is pasta, and he's also lazy so he would fob off all the cooking onto checo – when they're not ordering takeout. i like to imagine checo making mexican food for them and hulk dies because he made it proper spicy and not german spicy so hulk ends up like that german tourist who sued a place in new york for giving him too spicy sauce

🎤 who sings in the shower and who secretly records it for blackmail: irl they have both admitted to singing in the shower before but i think nico is way more embarrassed about it, especially when he gets caught