катя

i never knew how much this song would haunt my narrative that is my life. even just the cover art for the album.

this was mine and my moms song, and i used to think like as if she were singing the words to me. now that i’m older and have the experiences that i have with her it’s like I’M the one singing it to her.

“when you gonna make up your mind? when you gonna love you as much as i do?” is such a prominent couple of lines for me. for so long, and even now, my mother goes back and forth between seemingly loving me and hating me. i never understood it.

the lines “i’ll tell you that i’ll always want you near, you say that things change, my dear.” are just another couple that have switched perspectives for me. i don’t know which perspective hurts more.

the last lines i will mention are “i hear a voice, ‘you must learn to stand up for yourself cause i can’t always be around’.” is wild to me because i have never stood up for myself until quite recently, and one of the biggest people i’ve had to stand up for myself against was my mother.