Sacred Hearts

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

Im going to get fucking killed by guards

a really interesting thing i’ve learned dating someone from Pennsylvania is that they’re so proud that they killed that hitchhiking robot. it’s seriously like walking on the moon to them. you bring it up to anyone from PA and they smile warmly and nod and go “yep, yep, we did kill him and we would do it again”

cop pulls me over little does he know my drivers license is written in elf hieroglyphics & blinds anyone who reads it

northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

southern hemisphere babes, they're stealing our fucking daylight!

every morning i go out onto the farm and ring a gong at the perfect resonant frequency of one of my pigs, causing it to disassemble into perfectly cooked breakfast meats

every night i sing a song of such incredible beauty that a new pig wanders onto my farm and becomes my best friend

#SustainableLiving

Analog horror series about your friend getting a boyfriend

"which could mean nothing" and other essential phrases for the modern speculator

hey girl your pussy is awesome, where did you get it installed?

between my thighs

dont worry guys. free party tin

Skyrim actually really did something by creating a video game grey morality™️ conflict where the issue isn't that both sides have a point it's that both sides absolutely suck balls and barely have any semblance of a point about anything. unclear if what they did was good or bad but they did do something

In a sea of games where it's like well... these people are the oppressors but they have a point cos the oppressed people are mean... these people are oppressed but they're mean... the elder scrolls v skyrim (2011) really stands out for making the main conflict be "the roman empire after being taken over by the nazi party" VS "the army of the confederate states of america as led by oliver cromwell" and then FORCING you to pledge your entire life to supporting one of them even though morally the ideal outcome of the conflict would, frankly, be everyone involved dropping dead. fascinating decisions all round